I don't care who reads this or who thinks I have no right to post this or who gets angry about it.

[kofi]

It's pretty cool when someone drags your mother, who just arrived at your house not even twenty-four hours prior to that day, into your problems under the guise of "Erin needs therapy and I care about her" while you're at work and talks about you behind your back and tells your mother that you're a closet lesbian/and or bisexual and that is the

Comments

[kofi]

Honestly, it wasn't even that the stuff she said was lies. She doesn't outright lie about me: she really, truly believes she's right and I can see how she draws these logical conclusions, but she has me all wrong and twists my intentions and personality around until it's fucking insane and awful and she no longer recognises me as the person I used to be.

I don't try to paint myself as perfect: I'm far from it and I'm sure I'm inconsiderate to live with; I'll never have fantastic social skills and I'll never really know what to do when I'm uncomfortable. I'm not trying to say she doesn't have any reasons to be upset with me about other things, or even some things she did bring to my mother's attention. It's just that I will never believe I deserve any of this and I don't believe my mother deserves to have what happened to her.

I don't even have "trying to be the better person" in mind; I'm just trying not to let myself get as horribly jaded about her as she insists I am. I just want to be left alone. I don't even care if people continue to believe that I'm really this monster and oh, poor anyone for having to live with me.

[sister]

i get that you're a Nice and Kind person, but yes, the things that she said were lies. are you really a lesbian who hits on waitresses? no. it doesn't matter that she believes her own god damned stupid lies--it just makes her even more crazy. she probably thinks you're flirting with waitresses because she's jealous, or unable to handle the idea of somebody straying from her, or whatever it is that makes her so ridiculously crazy.

she is incredibly harmful for you and for your life. there has never been one single thing good or happy about her. all she has brought you is basically five+ years of guilt and unhappiness.

by the way, everyone is at times inconsiderate or hard to live with. everyone. that doesn't mean the receptor of the hard-to-live-with-moments should accost you, your mother, your dog and then tell vicious lies about you. as far as i can tell, that makes her the far more inconsiderate roommate.

i agree with that one person down in the lower comments: she will eventually and hopefully get what's coming to her for all the horribleness she has brought to others.

[kofi]

I've been thinking that maybe she's not used to getting compliments from other girls and it really does make her awkward and uncomfortable because she thinks it's weird. Or if she gets compliments from girls, she takes it awkwardly and doesn't know what to say and thus automatically assumes all compliments are awkward and girls hitting on girls. Or maybe I'm just that big of a lesbian because I have self-esteem issues????

I'm not sure where that logic comes from, but I'm going to try to give up on rationalizing it.

Nice and Kind isn't the goal: if I was being that way, I wouldn't have posted this. I really don't think she's a one-hundred percent bad person for all the shit that's going on and maybe, in some fucked up way, she really did intend on helping me through controlling the circumstances around me or something and manipulating me and threatening me with my dog. It's just that when she brought my family into it and cared more about clearing her name than she cared about anything else, I viewed it as unforgivable.

She's harmful and spiteful, I'll give you that, but she's a good person and she can be very happy. I hope she keeps her friends and by some miracle of God stops analyzing them and applying her nonexistent psychology degree to them and pushing them away as she inevitably always does.

Of course, I've become her next Chris/Brian/Holly/Ang/Sadie/April/Meg/List Here. Soon people will be talking about "Oh, my god, I can't believe Erin was really like that and she did that to you!"

[sister]

jean is the all-encompassing victim. she knows exactly how to dress herself up as the one who was hurt. she'll always find people to tell her sad sob story to, whether it be that she's DYING, probably within a year!, or that somebody ruined her life after she tried to do oh so much for them, or that she saved some cat and no one realises she's a giant fucking humanitarian and please, just give her a little respect.

there is no reason to rationalise what's she's done: she has hurt you, yet again, but now in a way that is basically irreversible--and bordering psychopathic. you would be a god damn fool to not move away immediately.

[kofi]

yeah, you're probably right about the moving.

i'm only afraid for my dog, who i supposedly hate. she has claimed "you know i'd never actually take him away right away: i'd give you warning and give you a chance to fix it" and what not, but i don't think that's true anymore -- especially not after i've opened my mouth to everyone i can possibly think of about this situation, so this probably could have stood a little more foresight.

it's not as if she could do worse to me beyond hitting me (which she has said she has felt like doing repeatedly and 'i thought i was going to go to work with my knuckles red' and all that): i've lost enough friends and i've lost my best one of eight-some years. to be somewhat mean, losing a few more isn't going to kill me at this point.

[sister]

aren't you worried about what she might do to your stuff while you're gone?

[kofi]

no, not really. my stuff isn't important in comparison to my dog. contrary to what she tells everyone, i love my dog and he actually is my top priority.

[thefacelessevil]

You are 100% correct. You, whoever you are, are completely awesome in your awareness.

[thefacelessevil]

Yeah. I love that. And to think, you dumped me for her.