jesus christ

[kofi]

i'm never trying to cook anything again

hopefully the words "sorry about trying to kill you" while a roommate wanders into a kitchen full of DISGUSTING CLOUD-GRAY BURNING SMOG while i try desperately to remove all of the smoke from the kitchen while coughing every five seconds will never have to leave my mouth again.

also vanity_no_fair introduced me to

Comments

[kofi]

to give you the short story, while i was at work, one of my roommates decided that talking to my mother while dragging the other roommate into it (making her sit down to witness the conversation i guess because it was in desperate need of witnessing and agreement from the third, nigh-unrelated party) about how i'm a closet lesbian/and or bisexual was a fantastic and great idea.

my mother was also told about how i incessantly hit on waitresses and how it makes my roommate really uncomfortable because she doesn't know how to deal with it when i hit on people around her.

there was that i'm a disgusting person who barely ever cleans and who constantly buys food for herself while never buying any food for her dog. nevermind that the only way anyone could know how much food i actually buy (i keep what i can in my room) is if they look at my grocery receipts which, frankly, if they're doing that, they need to stop spending their fucking time on that and find something else to do that involves leaving me alone.

also i never take my dog to the dog park. i just say i do that so they'll leave me alone. i never brush my dog often enough and i never clip his nails and this one time i left his collar off for a whole week! isn't that awful?!

also i maliciously hold medical transcriptions and papers and stole a favourite pen. ON PURPOSE IF AT ALL.

considering i've heard that one of them looks at my files on my computer, has accused me of stalking her incessantly even though i want nothing to do with her, and various other things like that, i'm really inclined to believe that shit was planted there.

she also is holding my dog's humane society papers and told my mother this. how she got them and how i don't have them, i don't know. i had a folder labeled "tellie" in which i kept records like that and mysteriously they're gone.