whiskey thoughts
god damn it. i've always had a degree of pride in the fact that i'm a very emotionally in control sort of person. the wild mood swings lately are sucking ass, but i really kinda wish i wasn't fighting back tears on the bus today. and of all things it was over something i'm reading. (granted, i'm reading some pretty heavy shit right now--a book about self-injurers--but still c'mon.) it was really since my mother passed away that this weird thing called emotions cropped up, and i find myself crying or nearly crying from bizarre shit. gah!
i have also further realized i need to stop being angry about stupid shit. i spend way too much time angry about shit i don't have any control over, and the stupid shit people who do stupid shit and say stupid shit do and say. blah. i've let a lot of crap affect my day that i really ought not to.
you can't see it, but i'm waving my middle finger around madly.
that said, i'm getting annoyed with myself. i've been spending a little too much time moping around and not doing anything. i need to get cracking on the writing, and i need to do something that interests me to fill up all these spare hours. i'm thinking of looking for acting parts, maybe fishing around for another writing gig. the disability money is eventually going to be in place, so not only will i be able to afford to live, but i'll have the luxury of doing things i actually care about, when doing those things eventually results in a paycheck, well, all the better.
and i wish i had my damn iMac with all my poetry on it. [sigh] i could at least be racking up some rejection letters.
i have also further realized i need to stop being angry about stupid shit. i spend way too much time angry about shit i don't have any control over, and the stupid shit people who do stupid shit and say stupid shit do and say. blah. i've let a lot of crap affect my day that i really ought not to.
you can't see it, but i'm waving my middle finger around madly.
that said, i'm getting annoyed with myself. i've been spending a little too much time moping around and not doing anything. i need to get cracking on the writing, and i need to do something that interests me to fill up all these spare hours. i'm thinking of looking for acting parts, maybe fishing around for another writing gig. the disability money is eventually going to be in place, so not only will i be able to afford to live, but i'll have the luxury of doing things i actually care about, when doing those things eventually results in a paycheck, well, all the better.
and i wish i had my damn iMac with all my poetry on it. [sigh] i could at least be racking up some rejection letters.