On my grandmother.
For those of you who might not know, my grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep at around 2 A.M. this morning.
My infinite thanks go to everyone who has expressed their support and well-wishes throughout this time. <3 You all mean so much to me, and I'll never forget how much your comments mean to me.
Last night my dad asked me if I wanted to be contacted if it looked like the end so I could drive up to the hospital to be with her. After some coaxing in that direction by my dad, I declined, and both of my parents understood. In the end, I'm glad I made the decision not to be there when it finally happened. A small part of me regrets seeing my uncle die earlier this year. It was, at its core, a truly terrifying experience to actually see someone take their last breath, and it's a picture that still tends to haunt me when I close my eyes at night. I'm glad that that terror is not my last memory of my grandma. My last sight of her may have been her hooked up to a half-dozen machines, but it was still while she could open her eyes, unlike my uncle. My parents actually didn't make it in time either, but before they left to get some rest (the hospital would call them when she was really near the end), they were able to tell her to let go if she really wanted to, and she did.
At least now she's with both my grandpa and my uncle in heaven, and I'm sure her version of paradise is filled with babies. Babies were her favorite thing in the whole world, I swear. Even in this last hospital visit, when she was barely sentient and not responding to any of us, she was still smiling at images of babies on the television in front of her bed.
I've spent most of the day in a daze, kind of like a rock. Fortunately it's not a nauseous daze like it was the day after my uncle died. I don't have much experience with grief coming from my immediate family, but it's become a bit more familiar over the course of this year. I woke up at 7:15 to get ready for school and that's when my dad informed me of her passing. We stayed up for a while together before crawling back into bed and trying to sleep a bit more. Then I woke back up around 11:30 and ate breakfast/lunch before curling back up in bed until about 4:30. It was really all I could muster the energy to do. Even now I can't pick myself up to do anything. It's a curious feeling, and one that will hopefully wear off with time.
The visitation and funeral are this Friday and Saturday, respectively. Again, all of my thanks to everyone who has expressed their support. Prayers for my family are greatly appreciated. <3
My infinite thanks go to everyone who has expressed their support and well-wishes throughout this time. <3 You all mean so much to me, and I'll never forget how much your comments mean to me.
Last night my dad asked me if I wanted to be contacted if it looked like the end so I could drive up to the hospital to be with her. After some coaxing in that direction by my dad, I declined, and both of my parents understood. In the end, I'm glad I made the decision not to be there when it finally happened. A small part of me regrets seeing my uncle die earlier this year. It was, at its core, a truly terrifying experience to actually see someone take their last breath, and it's a picture that still tends to haunt me when I close my eyes at night. I'm glad that that terror is not my last memory of my grandma. My last sight of her may have been her hooked up to a half-dozen machines, but it was still while she could open her eyes, unlike my uncle. My parents actually didn't make it in time either, but before they left to get some rest (the hospital would call them when she was really near the end), they were able to tell her to let go if she really wanted to, and she did.
At least now she's with both my grandpa and my uncle in heaven, and I'm sure her version of paradise is filled with babies. Babies were her favorite thing in the whole world, I swear. Even in this last hospital visit, when she was barely sentient and not responding to any of us, she was still smiling at images of babies on the television in front of her bed.
I've spent most of the day in a daze, kind of like a rock. Fortunately it's not a nauseous daze like it was the day after my uncle died. I don't have much experience with grief coming from my immediate family, but it's become a bit more familiar over the course of this year. I woke up at 7:15 to get ready for school and that's when my dad informed me of her passing. We stayed up for a while together before crawling back into bed and trying to sleep a bit more. Then I woke back up around 11:30 and ate breakfast/lunch before curling back up in bed until about 4:30. It was really all I could muster the energy to do. Even now I can't pick myself up to do anything. It's a curious feeling, and one that will hopefully wear off with time.
The visitation and funeral are this Friday and Saturday, respectively. Again, all of my thanks to everyone who has expressed their support. Prayers for my family are greatly appreciated. <3