My two cents...jpm9170February 14 2007, 16:49:28 UTC
A very interesting subject and one that I agree requires further thought and redefinition. It's amazing how much our relationship redefined how people view me. You and I were together for about 16 months, and because of the 16 year age difference, people now assume that I only date guys who are significantly younger than me. This is in spite of the fact that guys I dated before you were three, five and seven years my junior, and the guy I dated after you was seven years my junior. But because we dated, people still think of me as a 'cradle robber' or uninterested in anyone close to my age.
Thats fine and I can deal with that as unfair as that is. What really bothers me though is that a number of people who do not know me or you automatically make the assumption that because of our age difference there is no way we could have had ANYTHING in common other than mutual physical attraction. People are ignorant and judge that all we had was sex and nothing else. That is infuriatingly ignorant. Had that been true we would never have lasted as long as we did, and we likely would not have continued on as friends afterwards.
Thats not to say that age difference isn't a factor in relationships. Being from two different generations did have an impact, but that impact was as positive in as many ways as it may have been negative. One of the best parts of our 'intergenerational relationship' was that you had viewpoints and perspectives that I had never even considered. You challenged me to examine my opinions and long held beliefs. I think I became a more openminded individual because of the time we spent together. Hopefully I had a similar impact on you!
As great as all that was, most people, including some of my closer friends, still never got that or accepted that, and that's too bad. They miss the whole point, that two people can come together because of common interests and mutual attraction even if they are not in the same age demographic.
I make a distinction between 'pedophilia' and 'predatory behavior.' They are not mutually exclusive. I know more than a few straight guys who are 'predators' not for young girls but for women who are of age, stalking them and taking advantage of their vulnerabilities for their own sexual satisfaction. Tell that to the Dateline NBC people.
I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop here, but thats my reaction to your post :)
Thats fine and I can deal with that as unfair as that is. What really bothers me though is that a number of people who do not know me or you automatically make the assumption that because of our age difference there is no way we could have had ANYTHING in common other than mutual physical attraction. People are ignorant and judge that all we had was sex and nothing else. That is infuriatingly ignorant. Had that been true we would never have lasted as long as we did, and we likely would not have continued on as friends afterwards.
Thats not to say that age difference isn't a factor in relationships. Being from two different generations did have an impact, but that impact was as positive in as many ways as it may have been negative. One of the best parts of our 'intergenerational relationship' was that you had viewpoints and perspectives that I had never even considered. You challenged me to examine my opinions and long held beliefs. I think I became a more openminded individual because of the time we spent together. Hopefully I had a similar impact on you!
As great as all that was, most people, including some of my closer friends, still never got that or accepted that, and that's too bad. They miss the whole point, that two people can come together because of common interests and mutual attraction even if they are not in the same age demographic.
I make a distinction between 'pedophilia' and 'predatory behavior.' They are not mutually exclusive. I know more than a few straight guys who are 'predators' not for young girls but for women who are of age, stalking them and taking advantage of their vulnerabilities for their own sexual satisfaction. Tell that to the Dateline NBC people.
I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop here, but thats my reaction to your post :)
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