(no subject)
everything i've ever said was the truth at the time...the truth, for me, can change day to day...maybe i'm bipolar, maybe i'm manic depressive, maybe i'm just straight up emotionally retarded, i don't know...maybe there's just something that both attracts and repels me, that i both despise and adore...i don't know...i do know that things could not have kept going the way they were, for my sake, and they sure as shit can't keep going the way they are now...but i'm too fucking indecisive to pick a path...one leads to everything i could ever want, but it's not my decision to make...one is totally within my control, but is the last thing i would ever want...and perhaps there is a myriad of paths to choose from that i don't see...and so, because of my blindness and my indecisiveness, i'm standing dumbly at a crossroads of my own making...whoops.