(no subject)
Haven't been able to write because I haven't stopped moving. My mother is still not quite alright and has good and bad moments. She spent the majority of the time on the phone with relatives, and I had to go to work and then run several errands for the household afterwards. I'm trying to relax right now with soem coffee before bed.
There were a few good things that happened today worth noting, but the one thing I was surprised by most was something that has never happened before ever ---- "Dad" hurt my feelings!!!!!
He said a few things that.... I felt were a insensitive. I was so surprised by them that I laughed nervous laughter while still on the phone with him. I don't know whether I caught him in a bad mood and he lashed out, or maybe he didn't realize what he was saying. All I know is that he didn't sound like himself very much and I tried very hard to decide whether I had made him upset. I don't think I had.
I'm surprised by it --- in an odd way, the anger is good because it gives balance to the emotions I usually associate with him. I haven't ever been legitamtely upset with him, and so it's good to know I am capable of that emotion.
No matter what, though, it was a jerky thing to do and I wonder what's next. (Do I call? Wait for him to call? Ignore him until I'm over it?) I don't understand how telling me to "go wallow in my misery" is something you would want to say to me, or telling me that he's "letting me go" so that I can "go be depressed." Well, gee, thanks pal.
Jerk. The more I think about it, the more angry it makes me. I think I'm gonna leave him alone for a while until he shows me he cares.
There were a few good things that happened today worth noting, but the one thing I was surprised by most was something that has never happened before ever ---- "Dad" hurt my feelings!!!!!
He said a few things that.... I felt were a insensitive. I was so surprised by them that I laughed nervous laughter while still on the phone with him. I don't know whether I caught him in a bad mood and he lashed out, or maybe he didn't realize what he was saying. All I know is that he didn't sound like himself very much and I tried very hard to decide whether I had made him upset. I don't think I had.
I'm surprised by it --- in an odd way, the anger is good because it gives balance to the emotions I usually associate with him. I haven't ever been legitamtely upset with him, and so it's good to know I am capable of that emotion.
No matter what, though, it was a jerky thing to do and I wonder what's next. (Do I call? Wait for him to call? Ignore him until I'm over it?) I don't understand how telling me to "go wallow in my misery" is something you would want to say to me, or telling me that he's "letting me go" so that I can "go be depressed." Well, gee, thanks pal.
Jerk. The more I think about it, the more angry it makes me. I think I'm gonna leave him alone for a while until he shows me he cares.