all i think about is you.
everything is fucked-up. i just managed to lose the girl of my dreams. as in, i thought we were set for life and now i can feel my teeth scraping the curb. the worst part is that it’s all my fault. i shut her out, pushed her away, and by the time i realized what was happening she had already checked out. the only girl i ever loved enough to hurt. which sounds so bizarre, but it’s true. with my other girlfriends, i didn’t have the balls to speak my mind or disagree even when i held a difference of opinion, because i was too scared of losing them. with lindsey, i never was afraid to share my true feelings because i knew she would always be there for me no matter what, loving me right back. our bond was just that unconditional. until now i guess. i never meant to hurt her, and i didn’t even know how unhappy she had become until things boiled over. college graduation left me unfulfilled. so i spent the summer grasping at a sense of self, some greater signification in existence, to call my own, while in the meantime neglecting the most important person in my life. what i wanted most was staring me in the face all along, wiping away my tears and telling me it would be okay. trying to help out. it was already too late when the epiphany struck: this girl represents everything i have been searching for. purpose, meaning, and direction all rolled into one, with the mind and body of my dream girl to boot. though it may sound daft, lindsey is exactly what i want to do with my life. some people you can live without. not my limesey bear. she is a good one. i can’t believe i let her get away. this has all gone so sour, and i can’t stand myself for it right now.