Aaarrrghhh so freakin' late but so much crap got in the way. I loved this chapter like crazy though--another of those moments when you just want to sit and stew in the amazing angsty-ness instead of having to think. Anyways. Comment time.
JJ woke up coz someone turned the UH-OH fan on and that big pile of shit he pooped in the corner three weeks ago just got splattered around! Yes it did. ><
I hate being scolded and I hate being involved in conflict and, just as much, I hate watching it happen to other people too. So I was basically saying “shiiiiiit” in my head more than JJ even was when Yunho was carving him up for Christmas dinner lol! ANGST CENTRAL that room was. I was cowering in the corner like a weeping dog. lol
“It was a long time ago.” / “It was three weeks ago.” Mannn, JJ walked right into that one! I was burying my head as soon as he said it loll. I know a lot had happened in those 3 weeks, but just saying 3 weeks was a long time ago in a mathematical sense was like flying a target over his head. -_-
I have to say though, Yunho is so bad-ass as Leader-sshi. Cutting JJ down like a pro. I was giving him lots of snaps even as I cringed on JJ’s behalf. He was on fiiiyahhh.
THIS WHOLE THING IS WOW= Yunho hadn't done anything to warrant the punishment of being the one to discipline him. It was such a complicated world Yunho was living in. Goddd, such a perfect description of the entire situation! Why reading Yunho disciplining JJ until he cried was like feeling yourself internally bleeding. Horrrrrrrrrible. Poor Yunho.
I have mixed feelings about JJ’s reaction to Yunho potentially being HIV positive. It’s shocking and horrible so I get the initial retreat but at the same time I was like ahhhh don’t just leave him there without a word of comfort! The poor guy has just confessed something horrible and terrifying; you can’t just run away immediately! *sobs for Yunho*
A lot of JJ’s thoughts were revolved around why it sucked for JAEJOONG that Yunho may have HIV. I wanted to shake him a bit for being so self-centred. Of course Yunho having HIV would affect JJ’s decision on dating Yunho but it’s not like that was the number one issue. The number one issue should have been how Yunho was feeling with such a horrible bombshell. JJ acknowledges it was horrible that he was thinking about himself more than Yunho coz when you are faced with a life and death situation, of course your number one concern is yourself, but… *shakes head* Bad JaeJoong lol. Quite frankly, Junsu had a better reaction! Lollll. But arrgghh by the time JJ told Yunho “sorry” my heart was freakin breaking for both of them. Worst timing for this issue to pop up for them. Damn you life. T___T
HoMin’s HIV talk….. Heartbreaking. Particularly Min running through his vision of what would happen with his weak body. What a depressing vision of the future… I don’t even want to comment much about it because it is so horrible not knowing if you have a terminal disease. I don’t even want to imagine the ridiculous level of anxiety that period of limbo would cause. Do you or do you not have it… Let alone what would happen to you if you did have it with Min’s current weakened body. And it isn’t a movie or anything (inception, since this is still fiction but SHH =P), their life can’t suddenly flash to the results of that test, skipping the torture in between. Is there anything more sombre than running through your own mortality. ><
Junsu time. He sure has been working hard to sort out the big ‘moral dilemma’ or whatever he sees it as. He’s been raised with this strong view of one thing and now has to deal with a contradiction to it, and worse--with his own friends involved at the very heart of it… All I can really say is that he gets kudos for trying hard in his own way to deal with those demons. Whilst a much more extreme situation, a moral dilemma came up over here over a teenager who is refusing life-saving treatment for cancer because blood transfusions go heavily against his religion (Jehovah’s Witness), and the courts are involved because he could die if he refuses treatment but he is, and it’s a MASSIVE moral dilemma. It was scary to think that someone’s religious beliefs could be the difference between living and dying, but it really can. Obviously a ‘my friends are gay’ dilemma doesn’t really compare to that but the underlying issue is still there and it granted me more patience with Junsu’s dilemma once I was exposed to it again. He’s living a lonely life right now and I hope that he somehow can figure out how to get back on track with some kind of answer. =(
Oh the YooMin beach scenes…. Heheh. Not going to lie, I was smiling a hell of a lot as I read through them. Oh the memories of you writing it. ^_~
Heavy conversations though. My word. The death thing again….. And how Yoochun is indifferent to the thought of Yunho with HIV (aside from blaming him since Min is his special man)…. Oh boy. Innnnntennnnseeeee. Min always manages to sound like the wisest soul in the world in these conversations though. He is so in touch with himself and those around him. <3
Oh mannn oh man, the thoughts that were running through my head when JJ was in the red light district. A lot of tension in the ole chest as well. Half resigned to inevitability, half screaming NOOO, Yunho will be so much sweeter to you/better for you for your first time (yes I know this story is YunJae, but I like to live on the edge and not cheat by remembering this fact, so anything can happen!).
It was kind of funny (despite JJ’s dilemma) that he had to pick the guy who quite possibly had the biggest wang there. Way to start, JJ! Good lord. XD I couldn’t help but have some fondness for Troy. He was so amusing. I know it’s his job to be friendly but he sounded so eager and… XDDD
JJ’s spontaneous gamble didn’t exactly get to the finish line but it is all experience. An important test too to see if he could be attracted and aroused to different kinds of men, and in different circumstances. And it would have helped him to better understand what he does and doesn’t want. So that escapade wasn’t wasted, but I am glad he got out of there without being caught. Kairi was definitely bad enough…
It was awesome that Yunho came to the rescue but I felt like I was sitting in between them in that car digging my nails into my palm whilst screaming in my head AWWWWKKWWARDDDDDD lol. The tension… Wondering what Yunho was going to say or do… Knowing he’d have to say something and just waiiiiting in tense anticipation for that would be. And then he parked and you know it was going to begin and I swear I wasn’t breathing in that imaginary car loll.
And it did begin and.. YUNHO, I LOVE YOU. He handled that so well, I could have gushed. I am gushing. XD
Yunho's grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Did you get what you went there for?” Okay I looooove how he worded that question/innuendo. And that is why he is the diplomatic leader of TVXQ, ladies and gentlemen lol. Though when JJ answered no and YH relaxed a little, I liked that YH’s question had room for interpretation in it. Could have just been about sex, could have been about satisfaction with sex, could have been a confirmation on his sexuality etc etc. Technically JJ’s ‘no’ could have referred to ‘I did have sex but no I didn’t enjoy it/feel good afterwards’ etc. YH’s lucky that JJ’s ‘no’ covered pretty much everything in this case. ^^;;
Yunho was doing a decent job letting the topics of priority win before he let himself know masochistic answers. Give the man a hug! And give JJ a sympathetic pat for having to be the one to answer all that stuff whilst already feeling hella embarrassed (even though it was his own choices that led to that moment).
When JJ calls out to Yunho: ”What do I do? To prevent there being a next time, what do I do?” AH my god, Changmin’s words from earlier came back to me with a huge smack right then. Ie. ‘Yunho hadn't done anything to warrant the punishment of being the one to…’ in this case, have to tell the guy he’s pretty much in love with HOW/WHERE to get his rocks off with another guy. *shudder* Even the notion… *hugs Yunho*
So then we had Gackt trying one last time (bless him) to go out with Changmin and then Yoochun woke up and yeh yeh, their own little beach outing is so sweet and it’s nice Min could get out for so long for a mostly relaxing outing, and I bet that setting sun is pretty and OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!! Hahaha. I went absolutely mental at that ending. Half whooping, half wide-eyed and slack jawed. And the some Tom Cruise-style jumping on the couch (but in my head). OH NO HE DIDNNNNN’T. Yoochun, you go boy!! (But only of course if Min is alright with it.) Yoochun skipped straight past inner reflection and pondering to GOING FOR GOLD coz he WANTS IT. Yeh man. I am very curious to see what happens with that action… If it scared Chun, if it enlightens him, if denial ruins anything, if it is brushed off as a whim after a, er, good dream. Give me more, baby! Loll
Seriously, this chapter was so hardcore and so freakin’ amazing.
I unfortunately read the comment that was posted right after this one before reading all of yours. The last comment on this chapter... *sigh*. Thankfully, this made me feel better :)
Some people (eg. you *points in Uncle Sam formation*) read subtext as easily as reading a neon sign, and others read at face value what needs to be felt, not seen. Ugh. *sprays germ-x over my journal*
Anyway, thank you. You got everything, as usual XD Good job, haha ily soooooooooooooooooooo much right now
JJ woke up coz someone turned the UH-OH fan on and that big pile of shit he pooped in the corner three weeks ago just got splattered around! Yes it did. ><
I hate being scolded and I hate being involved in conflict and, just as much, I hate watching it happen to other people too. So I was basically saying “shiiiiiit” in my head more than JJ even was when Yunho was carving him up for Christmas dinner lol! ANGST CENTRAL that room was. I was cowering in the corner like a weeping dog. lol
“It was a long time ago.” / “It was three weeks ago.” Mannn, JJ walked right into that one! I was burying my head as soon as he said it loll. I know a lot had happened in those 3 weeks, but just saying 3 weeks was a long time ago in a mathematical sense was like flying a target over his head. -_-
I have to say though, Yunho is so bad-ass as Leader-sshi. Cutting JJ down like a pro. I was giving him lots of snaps even as I cringed on JJ’s behalf. He was on fiiiyahhh.
THIS WHOLE THING IS WOW= Yunho hadn't done anything to warrant the punishment of being the one to discipline him. It was such a complicated world Yunho was living in. Goddd, such a perfect description of the entire situation! Why reading Yunho disciplining JJ until he cried was like feeling yourself internally bleeding. Horrrrrrrrrible. Poor Yunho.
I have mixed feelings about JJ’s reaction to Yunho potentially being HIV positive. It’s shocking and horrible so I get the initial retreat but at the same time I was like ahhhh don’t just leave him there without a word of comfort! The poor guy has just confessed something horrible and terrifying; you can’t just run away immediately! *sobs for Yunho*
A lot of JJ’s thoughts were revolved around why it sucked for JAEJOONG that Yunho may have HIV. I wanted to shake him a bit for being so self-centred. Of course Yunho having HIV would affect JJ’s decision on dating Yunho but it’s not like that was the number one issue. The number one issue should have been how Yunho was feeling with such a horrible bombshell. JJ acknowledges it was horrible that he was thinking about himself more than Yunho coz when you are faced with a life and death situation, of course your number one concern is yourself, but… *shakes head* Bad JaeJoong lol. Quite frankly, Junsu had a better reaction! Lollll. But arrgghh by the time JJ told Yunho “sorry” my heart was freakin breaking for both of them. Worst timing for this issue to pop up for them. Damn you life. T___T
HoMin’s HIV talk….. Heartbreaking. Particularly Min running through his vision of what would happen with his weak body. What a depressing vision of the future… I don’t even want to comment much about it because it is so horrible not knowing if you have a terminal disease. I don’t even want to imagine the ridiculous level of anxiety that period of limbo would cause. Do you or do you not have it… Let alone what would happen to you if you did have it with Min’s current weakened body. And it isn’t a movie or anything (inception, since this is still fiction but SHH =P), their life can’t suddenly flash to the results of that test, skipping the torture in between. Is there anything more sombre than running through your own mortality. ><
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Oh the YooMin beach scenes…. Heheh. Not going to lie, I was smiling a hell of a lot as I read through them. Oh the memories of you writing it. ^_~
Heavy conversations though. My word. The death thing again….. And how Yoochun is indifferent to the thought of Yunho with HIV (aside from blaming him since Min is his special man)…. Oh boy. Innnnntennnnseeeee. Min always manages to sound like the wisest soul in the world in these conversations though. He is so in touch with himself and those around him. <3
Oh mannn oh man, the thoughts that were running through my head when JJ was in the red light district. A lot of tension in the ole chest as well. Half resigned to inevitability, half screaming NOOO, Yunho will be so much sweeter to you/better for you for your first time (yes I know this story is YunJae, but I like to live on the edge and not cheat by remembering this fact, so anything can happen!).
It was kind of funny (despite JJ’s dilemma) that he had to pick the guy who quite possibly had the biggest wang there. Way to start, JJ! Good lord. XD I couldn’t help but have some fondness for Troy. He was so amusing. I know it’s his job to be friendly but he sounded so eager and… XDDD
JJ’s spontaneous gamble didn’t exactly get to the finish line but it is all experience. An important test too to see if he could be attracted and aroused to different kinds of men, and in different circumstances. And it would have helped him to better understand what he does and doesn’t want. So that escapade wasn’t wasted, but I am glad he got out of there without being caught. Kairi was definitely bad enough…
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And it did begin and.. YUNHO, I LOVE YOU. He handled that so well, I could have gushed. I am gushing. XD
Yunho's grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Did you get what you went there for?” Okay I looooove how he worded that question/innuendo. And that is why he is the diplomatic leader of TVXQ, ladies and gentlemen lol. Though when JJ answered no and YH relaxed a little, I liked that YH’s question had room for interpretation in it. Could have just been about sex, could have been about satisfaction with sex, could have been a confirmation on his sexuality etc etc. Technically JJ’s ‘no’ could have referred to ‘I did have sex but no I didn’t enjoy it/feel good afterwards’ etc. YH’s lucky that JJ’s ‘no’ covered pretty much everything in this case. ^^;;
Yunho was doing a decent job letting the topics of priority win before he let himself know masochistic answers. Give the man a hug! And give JJ a sympathetic pat for having to be the one to answer all that stuff whilst already feeling hella embarrassed (even though it was his own choices that led to that moment).
When JJ calls out to Yunho: ”What do I do? To prevent there being a next time, what do I do?” AH my god, Changmin’s words from earlier came back to me with a huge smack right then. Ie. ‘Yunho hadn't done anything to warrant the punishment of being the one to…’ in this case, have to tell the guy he’s pretty much in love with HOW/WHERE to get his rocks off with another guy. *shudder* Even the notion… *hugs Yunho*
So then we had Gackt trying one last time (bless him) to go out with Changmin and then Yoochun woke up and yeh yeh, their own little beach outing is so sweet and it’s nice Min could get out for so long for a mostly relaxing outing, and I bet that setting sun is pretty and OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!! Hahaha. I went absolutely mental at that ending. Half whooping, half wide-eyed and slack jawed. And the some Tom Cruise-style jumping on the couch (but in my head). OH NO HE DIDNNNNN’T. Yoochun, you go boy!! (But only of course if Min is alright with it.) Yoochun skipped straight past inner reflection and pondering to GOING FOR GOLD coz he WANTS IT. Yeh man. I am very curious to see what happens with that action… If it scared Chun, if it enlightens him, if denial ruins anything, if it is brushed off as a whim after a, er, good dream. Give me more, baby! Loll
Seriously, this chapter was so hardcore and so freakin’ amazing.
Reply
Some people (eg. you *points in Uncle Sam formation*) read subtext as easily as reading a neon sign, and others read at face value what needs to be felt, not seen. Ugh. *sprays germ-x over my journal*
Anyway, thank you. You got everything, as usual XD Good job, haha ily soooooooooooooooooooo much right now
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