dia de la independencia
so tomorrow's the big day...or it was supposed to be anyway. i was supposed to fly out to CT tonight and be married tomorrow afternoon. i'm not sure exactly how i feel about it all yet. the bigger part of me just wants to get a 2 liter of coke and a fifth of jim beam and hole myself up and talk to no one for the next couple of days. and with great timing i get to go to my first funeral on saturday morning. it's my great (and gay) uncle that died at the end of last year so it's not like we've all gotten used to the idea that he's gone. i'm kind of pissed that my family is finally getting around to burying his ashes. at least i believe in souls and that his left before he even had to suffer through his death. the little voice inside of me decides that this is all good. to celebrate the life of my family member and to celebrate my independence and the fact that i'm not stuck with a mental case of a wife. so i picked the date of the would be wedding perfectly because tomorrow happens to be dia de la independencia in mexico. ok so we're not in mexico exactly but i am going to a mexican rest. saturday night and i took spanish a long time so i'm celebrating my independence and theirs on that day anyway cuz i can. my pride is still hurt (and if you know me you know to hurt my pride is the worst thing you can do)...i'm still resentful that i picked up a second job washing dishes when i make almost 40k already but i needed to stay busy anyway. i guess i'll have pretty rings to look at and when i get the time i'll look into selling them....for now even though i let go of the girl and that dream a long time ago i can't let the rings go. stupid for a girl who doesn't even like diamonds eh?
maybe my pride is starting to heal because i think i've handled it well thus far. i've taken responsibility for the rings and finding a new roommate eventhough it wasn't my job. all for a girl who took my future and in a split second, vanished it (or so i thought). my pride is looking up cuz i know i'm betting and i know i deserve better and i know that eventhough she tried to make herself out to be a victim and told me that no one wanted to be friends with me.....that i'm a good person anyway....i guess that's all that matters. times like these always humble a person i guess and remind me of just how many great friends i have. maybe not a million of them but they're all better than having a million anyway.
enough of being all mushy and half full....i'm back to work now.
maybe my pride is starting to heal because i think i've handled it well thus far. i've taken responsibility for the rings and finding a new roommate eventhough it wasn't my job. all for a girl who took my future and in a split second, vanished it (or so i thought). my pride is looking up cuz i know i'm betting and i know i deserve better and i know that eventhough she tried to make herself out to be a victim and told me that no one wanted to be friends with me.....that i'm a good person anyway....i guess that's all that matters. times like these always humble a person i guess and remind me of just how many great friends i have. maybe not a million of them but they're all better than having a million anyway.
enough of being all mushy and half full....i'm back to work now.