[One-Shot] Say Goodbye
Title: Say Goodbye
Author: Knowmonsta
Pairing: Park Jaebeom/Kim Jonghyun
Words: 1,094
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama
Summary: After making the final preparations to leave for Seattle, Jaebeom has to break the news of his departure to the person who matters the most to him.
Note: I've wanted to write JaeHyun for a while and I'm very happy with the outcome of this. I hope you guys enjoy it! And thank you to flickre and matsukatsu for helping me with this over at kpop_concrit.
The news had been broken to JYP and the members of 2PM. His bags were packed and his plane ticket to Seattle had been purchased. The hard part should have been over but it wasn't. As he sat in the park wringing his hands he knew that the hard part was yet to come.
He sees Kim Jonghyun walking toward him and forces a smile on his face. He hadn't informed him of his departure yet. This was going to be hell.
"Hey," Jonghyun says, hugging him. "How you are holding up?"
"Not so great," Jaebeom replies as Jonghyun sits down next to him. "There's a petition for me to commit suicide."
"Are you serious?" Jonghyun asks in disbelief. "That's horrible!"
"Tell me about it," Jaebeom says darkly as Jonghyun laces their fingers together. "And that's not all."
"What's happening now?"
Jaebeom decides that giving him all of the details would be best. He needs Jonghyun to understand why he has reached his breaking point.
"Wild Bunny won't be airing this week and Wooyoung and Chansung are starting to catch heat for sticking up for me. I'm surprised we're still able to perform."
"I'm so sorry," Jonghyun says rubbing his shoulder with his free hand.
Jaebeom sighs.
"All of this is my fault," he says.
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, Jonghyun it is. It was my Myspace page that the information was found on. If I hadn't typed what I did none of this would have happened in the first place."
"It isn't your fault that someone dug up a statement you made four years ago when you were angry and homesick."
"I can't see it that way," Jaebeom tells him.
"But it's true," Jonghyun insists. "You didn't mean what you said and if people understood that then none of this would've happened."
He squeezes Jaebeom's hand.
"I know this is terrible for you," he says "And I want to help you in any way I can. So I'll ask if SHINee can make a statement defending you."
"No," Jaebeom says firmly. "This is my battle. The last thing that I want to do is drag you and SHINee into this."
"You wouldn't be dragging us into anything," Jonghyun says frowning. "We want to help."
"And I appreciate that," Jaebeom says. "You know that I do. But I don't want you involved in this."
Jonghyun sighs.
"Fine," he says resting his head on Jaebeom's shoulder. "We won't say anything."
"Thank you," Jaebeom says quietly.
Jonghyun looks at Jaebeom. He's sweating slightly and the color in his face is fading.
"Things will get better Jay," he says. "I know they will. So just hang in there okay?"
Jaebeom sighs. If only it were that simple.
"That's just it Jonghyun, I can't do that."
Jonghyun blinks.
"What are you talking about?" he asks.
Jaebeom looks at Jonghyun's curious expression and feels his stomach sinking in. He doesn't want to break Jonghyun's heart. But this is the only way to fix things, even if it hurts both of them in the process.
"I'm leaving 2PM," he says quietly. "There's going to be an official statement soon. My plane leaves tomorrow."
He watches as Jonghyun processes his words.
"You're…you're kidding right?" he asks.
"I wish I were."
Jonghyun rips his hand from Jaebeom's.
"So you're just gonna leave?" he asks, his voice rising. "You're gonna quit just like that?"
"Jong -"
"You're being selfish!"
"This isn't about me!"
"I think it is. I think you can't hack it so you're walking out. Do you realize that you're leaving everyone behind? Your fans are sticking by you and you're the leader of 2PM. You're abandoning them!"
"Can you just listen to me for a few minutes?!"
"No! I…"
Jonghyun pauses and puts his head in his hands.
"I don't want you to go," he whispers. Jaebeom sees the tear stains wetting Jonghyun's fingers and feels his chest tightening.
"Jjong come here," he says quietly and Jonghyun leans against Jaebeom's chest, sobbing to the point where it's hard for him to breathe.
"W-what am I s-supposed t-to do if y-you leave?" he chokes out and Jaebeom wraps his arms around him, gently patting his back.
"Hey don't be like that," he says. "You've got a lot to do. You've still got your promotional activities with SHINee. You'll be so busy that you won't have to think about me."
"I d-doubt that," Jonghyun says. "A-are you s-sure you c-can't stay?"
"I'm sure," Jaebeom says. "2PM is suffering because of me. The members are like my family and I can't just stand by and watch things continue to get worse for them. If my leaving can help then I have to do it. I need you to understand that."
Jaebeom watches as Jonghyun pulls himself together. The younger man takes a few deep breaths and then looks him in the eyes.
"If you feel that this is your best option, then I support you."
"Thank you," Jaebeom replies. "That means a lot to me. I didn't want to leave with us on the wrong foot."
Jonghyun nods. They sit in silence, Jaebeom gently ruffling Jonghyun's hair.
"I'll come visit you in Seattle," Jonghyun says. Jaebeom laughs.
"I'd love to see you in Seattle. But when will you get a day off?"
"That's true," Jonghyun replies with a smile. "Would emailing you be better?"
"Now you're using your brain," Jaebeom says tugging at a strand of his hair. Jonghyun laughs. "And call me when you get the chance. Hearing your voice is better than an email."
Jonghyun smiles.
"I'm going to miss you," he says.
"I'll miss you too," he replies. Jonghyun leans in and kisses him. When he pulls back Jaebeom hugs him.
"I have to go now," he says, though he's reluctant to let go of him. "I love you, Jjong."
Jonghyun smiles.
"I love you too."
"Work hard okay? And don't worry about me."
"Alright."
They stand up and Jaebeom hugs Jonghyun one last time, committing his body shape, scent, everything to memory. His vision begins to cloud.
"Goodbye," he says softly when he lets go.
"Goodbye," Jonghyun says just as quietly.
Jaebeom turns and begins to quickly walk away. The tears are building and he doesn't want Jonghyun to see.
"Jaebeom!"
He turns around to see Jonghyun smiling.
"I'm rooting for you," he says. "I'll always be rooting for you. You know that right?"
"O..of course I do."
Jaebeom lets the tears spill over. Words aren't enough to express how much he's going to miss that smiling face.
"Thank you."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------