(no subject)
Nin-card #0257-a: Private addendum to official log of arrival at
Camp Fuck You Die.
Hmm. After checking twice, I am forced to conclude that my system is
indeed clear of any hallucinogenic substances... which means that this
camp is indeed populated by flesh-eating zombies, disembodied eyes,
oddly organised squirrels, strangely sentient trees, amorous purple
gorillas, psychic toucans, sentient clothes, overly-friendly goats and
whatever that misshapen 'Eh-oh'-ing red thing was.
... Orochimaru-sama dispatches me to such interesting places.
Ah well, I am sure that he knows best. I must say that I am debating
whether to divert from my mission to retrieve Sasuke-kun to attempt
soliciting the services of the director of this institution- her
advances in reanimation and biological alterations are quite
impressive, and could be quite complementary to Orochimaru-sama's
works. Her obsession with finding this murderer and the resulting
mental instability (as evidenced by the above list of environmental
hazards here) however, may be a drawback. If she can be found, it may
be simpler to eliminate her and gather up samples of the more
promising flora and fauna to analyse back at Otogakure- I doubt if the
first will meet with much objections from the rest of the camp.
Those hazards are also the reason why this report is currently being
compiled in a small hollow several meters underground. While the first
zombie I encountered wasn't much of a problem, and indeed offered a
useful opporunity for me to vent certain frustrations upon, the dozen
or so of it's companions, apparently attracted by the chakra I'd used
to dissasemble it, were another matter.
ETC1: After some time observing the campers from a distance, I think I
will be needing many, many more nin-cards to record everything
unnusual I encounter here (The director already has several devoted to
her). A significant portion of campers seem to possess capabilities or
technology that are quite promising, one way or the other.
...some of them also seem to be undead, yet retain higher cerebral
functions. This is even more fascinating, and may warrant vivisection
at the earliest opportunity.
Also, these giant puppets called 'Gundams' I hear of sound especially
intriguing, if only to serve as a substitute for Manda-sama that does
not require feeding each time it is called. One further discovery is
that a surprising number of Leaf nins seem to be in attendence,
including Naruto-kun and Sakura-san. While their presence complicates
matters, that simply adds more, hm, spice to the proceedings.
However, there's something odd about Neji-kun though... he
seems older by a few years than when I last saw him.
Or at least, that was before he and the rest started practising, quite
inexplicably, that useless 'Sexy no Jutsu' of Naruto's. Based on this,
I may have to reevaluate my assesment of the mean intelligence of
Konoha genin.
ETC2: Neji-kun has reportedly formed an alliance with a rather
infamous ninja. In fact, I think I espy him in the distance, wearing a
familiar red-clouds-on-black cloak, standing in what appears to be a
giant badger footprint.
...I'm at the same camp as the mentally unbalanced vessel for a demon
and the one ninja my master acknowledges as superior to him.
I wonder perhaps if Orochimaru-sama, brilliant though he is, has a bit
too much confidence in my ability to heal myself? Moreover,
just because I have a talent for enduring ridiculous amounts of
punishment doesn't mean I like it.
New priorities- offer services as a medical nin and put forth a
friendly face so as to help in acquiring as many friends as possible
here at camp, in the event of any hostilities. Fortunately, several of
them seem quite easily manipulable friendly and easy-going.
Though I have yet to come across any proper medical personnel here, I
hear that some of the campers are even healers of some sort- I must
study their methods possibly discreetly arranging 'accidents'
afterwards to ensure a medical monoply. Retrieval of Sasuke-kun
will have to be postponed in favour of these more immediate concerns,
as well as the barrier around the camp.
...but first, seeing as how a slightly disturbing porportion of the
wildlife and scenery have amorous intentions, I think I will begin by
working on adapting a few medical jutsus to boobytrap my own body.
Camp Fuck You Die.
Hmm. After checking twice, I am forced to conclude that my system is
indeed clear of any hallucinogenic substances... which means that this
camp is indeed populated by flesh-eating zombies, disembodied eyes,
oddly organised squirrels, strangely sentient trees, amorous purple
gorillas, psychic toucans, sentient clothes, overly-friendly goats and
whatever that misshapen 'Eh-oh'-ing red thing was.
... Orochimaru-sama dispatches me to such interesting places.
Ah well, I am sure that he knows best. I must say that I am debating
whether to divert from my mission to retrieve Sasuke-kun to attempt
soliciting the services of the director of this institution- her
advances in reanimation and biological alterations are quite
impressive, and could be quite complementary to Orochimaru-sama's
works. Her obsession with finding this murderer and the resulting
mental instability (as evidenced by the above list of environmental
hazards here) however, may be a drawback. If she can be found, it may
be simpler to eliminate her and gather up samples of the more
promising flora and fauna to analyse back at Otogakure- I doubt if the
first will meet with much objections from the rest of the camp.
Those hazards are also the reason why this report is currently being
compiled in a small hollow several meters underground. While the first
zombie I encountered wasn't much of a problem, and indeed offered a
useful opporunity for me to vent certain frustrations upon, the dozen
or so of it's companions, apparently attracted by the chakra I'd used
to dissasemble it, were another matter.
ETC1: After some time observing the campers from a distance, I think I
will be needing many, many more nin-cards to record everything
unnusual I encounter here (The director already has several devoted to
her). A significant portion of campers seem to possess capabilities or
technology that are quite promising, one way or the other.
...some of them also seem to be undead, yet retain higher cerebral
functions. This is even more fascinating, and may warrant vivisection
at the earliest opportunity.
Also, these giant puppets called 'Gundams' I hear of sound especially
intriguing, if only to serve as a substitute for Manda-sama that does
not require feeding each time it is called. One further discovery is
that a surprising number of Leaf nins seem to be in attendence,
including Naruto-kun and Sakura-san. While their presence complicates
matters, that simply adds more, hm, spice to the proceedings.
However, there's something odd about Neji-kun though... he
seems older by a few years than when I last saw him.
Or at least, that was before he and the rest started practising, quite
inexplicably, that useless 'Sexy no Jutsu' of Naruto's. Based on this,
I may have to reevaluate my assesment of the mean intelligence of
Konoha genin.
ETC2: Neji-kun has reportedly formed an alliance with a rather
infamous ninja. In fact, I think I espy him in the distance, wearing a
familiar red-clouds-on-black cloak, standing in what appears to be a
giant badger footprint.
...I'm at the same camp as the mentally unbalanced vessel for a demon
and the one ninja my master acknowledges as superior to him.
I wonder perhaps if Orochimaru-sama, brilliant though he is, has a bit
too much confidence in my ability to heal myself? Moreover,
just because I have a talent for enduring ridiculous amounts of
punishment doesn't mean I like it.
New priorities- offer services as a medical nin and put forth a
friendly face so as to help in acquiring as many friends as possible
here at camp, in the event of any hostilities. Fortunately, several of
them seem quite easily manipulable friendly and easy-going.
Though I have yet to come across any proper medical personnel here, I
hear that some of the campers are even healers of some sort- I must
study their methods possibly discreetly arranging 'accidents'
afterwards to ensure a medical monoply. Retrieval of Sasuke-kun
will have to be postponed in favour of these more immediate concerns,
as well as the barrier around the camp.
...but first, seeing as how a slightly disturbing porportion of the
wildlife and scenery have amorous intentions, I think I will begin by
working on adapting a few medical jutsus to boobytrap my own body.