I know I have no way of mailing this to you. So I'll have to give it to you when I see you and then I could just say it but I want to write it down.
We haven't talked about that night and the things that I said before. I've kind of been afraid to say anything. The last thing I want to do is scare you away. Plus, I feel like such a hypocrite confessing my love to you after all the crap I said before about not wanting a relationship.
The thing is that I still know that a relationship right now could derail my goals. I know that a distraction like that could make it impossible to for me to get the job I want in the field that I want. And that would just be with a regular guy. This, with you, would take so much more effort to make it work. So I can't believe I'm about to say this but I want it. I want the work. I want the drama. I want to be able to say that you're mine. And I want to be yours. I don't know how we're going to do it. I don't have an answers but it wasn't just a spell that I was under. I love you, Simon. You aren't just a great guy. You're the best person I know. You make me want to be a better person. I feel like I am when I'm around you. I've never felt closer to God than when I'm touching you and I would do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.
Obviously, I know this isn't just my decision. We both said that a relationship at this point in our lives with our jobs wouldn't work. And our situations are still the same but I don't know about you but I'm not that same girl now. I really want to be a doctor but how can it ever make me half as happy as I am just taking a bath with you? Waking up in your arms? Making breakfast naked with only aprons? We don't need to figure out everything now. In fact, nothing has to change at all. You come when you can or when I get my own little stone thing, I can come see you and we can figure this out as we go. All I really want right now is to be able to say that you're mine and for you to want me to be yours. I don't think there could ever be a better Valentines Day present than that.
I know I have no way of mailing this to you. So I'll have to give it to you when I see you and then I could just say it but I want to write it down.
We haven't talked about that night and the things that I said before. I've kind of been afraid to say anything. The last thing I want to do is scare you away. Plus, I feel like such a hypocrite confessing my love to you after all the crap I said before about not wanting a relationship.
The thing is that I still know that a relationship right now could derail my goals. I know that a distraction like that could make it impossible to for me to get the job I want in the field that I want. And that would just be with a regular guy. This, with you, would take so much more effort to make it work. So I can't believe I'm about to say this but I want it. I want the work. I want the drama. I want to be able to say that you're mine. And I want to be yours. I don't know how we're going to do it. I don't have an answers but it wasn't just a spell that I was under. I love you, Simon. You aren't just a great guy. You're the best person I know. You make me want to be a better person. I feel like I am when I'm around you. I've never felt closer to God than when I'm touching you and I would do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.
Obviously, I know this isn't just my decision. We both said that a relationship at this point in our lives with our jobs wouldn't work. And our situations are still the same but I don't know about you but I'm not that same girl now. I really want to be a doctor but how can it ever make me half as happy as I am just taking a bath with you? Waking up in your arms? Making breakfast naked with only aprons? We don't need to figure out everything now. In fact, nothing has to change at all. You come when you can or when I get my own little stone thing, I can come see you and we can figure this out as we go. All I really want right now is to be able to say that you're mine and for you to want me to be yours. I don't think there could ever be a better Valentines Day present than that.
Yours,
Sam
Reply
Leave a comment