fic - "you and i, learning to speak."

[knotweed]

you and i, learning to speak.
PG-13 · 8408 words · EXO
Baekhyun/Chanyeol

Chanyeol leaves the country to find himself, Baekhyun doesn't know how much he needs Chanyeol until he does, and none of his friends give him good advice. AU, established relationship.

note: Largely inspired by my psychotic text post full of revelations on Tumblr, idek

Comments

[herocountry]

sofei i died when i saw your stupid A/N HOW UNEXPECTED SLDKGHLSIEHGLSKDFJ h-how sweet ;______; SOPHIE WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I READ A FIC OF YOURS??? (i gss... four years ago...) omg u hav just gotten better and this is so ADORABLE and lovely ;~;

because nothing says “What part of ‘I don’t want to take a stupid break from our relationship’ don’t you understand?” like getting multiple bones crushed in a single instant. I LOVE YOUR BAEKHYUN sophie alksdj you know ur.. actually perfect to write baekhyun bc this is... EXACTLY WHAT YOUR RAGE IS LIKE..... SOPHIE ILU.... & how did you know spiteful baekhyun is like my fav. but okay no seriously i loved him in this fic, his bitterness after chanyeol first leaves and the thin razor-edge of outraged/humourous violence in all his thoughts alsdkjf his grudging forgiveness, his moments of vulnerability, LITTLE BITS LIKE JUDGING THE RESTAURANT FOOD, here have some of my fav lines I AM PASTING THEM ALL TOGETHER TO BE ECONOMICAL ON SPACE I barely know how to drink this coffee and talk to you at the same time!” / for people who insisted on buying bananas but never intended to eat them because they would want to “take a break” in two days. / -but Baekhyun understands; it really wasn’t that good in the first place. i don't really know how to say it but i enjoyed your baekhyun thoroughly, all the little details you slipped in and his interactions with the other members ;___;

“Hyung, I don’t even think you should be angry,” Zitao gently says to him one afternoon over coffee in endearingly stilted Korean. / “I’m not angry, Tao,” replies Baekhyun angrily YOU REALLY HANDLED THE CAMEOS WELL LIKE... perf tao.... AND LMFAO @ KYUNGSOO TT__________TT Baekhyun loves Kyungsoo, but the thing is that Kyungsoo is a baby and thinks that all real world problems can be solved by food. still funny the second time around and I have exams tomorrow-something a baby like you wouldn’t understand.” / “Get lost, Sehun,” ALL OF YOUR CAMEOS A L L OF THEM DO U UNDERSTAND

“Have you ever wondered that maybe… maybe it might be your fault?” Kyungsoo says this in a tiny, tiny voice, / “Yeah,” Baekhyun repeats quietly. as always you balance the funny parts really well with the bits that hurt :( THIS KILLED ME THE FIRST TIME I READ IT

That’s something I read in my sister’s magazine BTW. ONE OF MY ACTUAL FAVOURITE LINES LMFAO SO... HIM.....
and Chanyeol forgets to tell Baekhyun that he’s actually grounded for the weekend and gets scolded in front of Baekhyun by his mother. god they are so fucking cute THIS WHOLE FIC IS SO FUCKING CUTE

but okay my favourite part was how you dealt with their relationship and the way it spooled out and how they dealt with their relationship and each other, aaah sofei it was so real and mature, WHEN DID U BECOME LIKE THIS. you have a lovely turn of phrase, your writing is so enjoyable to read and flows so well, and there are so many parts and little bits and the whole progression that i love, BUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, wow my heart swells ;_; bits like Chanyeol doesn’t pick up. / “Great,” he deadpans into the emptiness of the loft so anticlimatic and disappointing and lonely/resentful and real, and bits like 'I love you' but not 'I miss you'--the bits that sting when you're still sensitive, and you did that whole breakup thing so well, the anger mixed with the still-present love/longing ;; THE STUPID RELATIONSHIPS TRICKS THEY'D DO -he’d used to ignore Chanyeol’s texts and silently count down the hours and the days until he showed up at his door with concern written all over his face,, this part Do I just like hearing you complain? the insecurities of their relationship and it's SO CUTE but also really, you wonder, what if? and you developed baekhyun's whole initial outrage to him slowly coming to grips/accepting the state of their relationship and the parts where it is wrong, and Forgiveness. / It’s a weird one. SIGH like one_if said, that great way you show both of them, that it's not any one person's fault, just these things that build up unnoticed and unaddressed

[herocountry]

AND my two favourite parts: “How come you’re never here?” Baekhyun bursts out, / but he finds that he can’t cry; he’s too hysterical or something, or maybe he’s so sad that he’s beyond tears. wow this made me like. genuinely sad when i first read it. you built the whole "argument about x that isn't about x" so well and broke the atmosphere w/ baekhyun's outburst so cleanly, and then the suffering silence afterward ;____;

“Typical,” Baekhyun says out loud, a little annoyed, / “Don’t be like that, Baekhyun,” he replies, a little distant, and they lapse back into their tunnel vision silence again. MAYBE MY FAVOURITE SCENE TBH. just. i love that. they're back together, chanyeol is back and their breakup is over and they love each other but it's not enough. just reconciling doesn't mean the problems that were there have vanished. they still have to deal with it lkshaglhd ugh I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH, they're so ~joyously reunited~ but there is still that gaping distance in between. DON'T BE LIKE THAT BAEKHYUN. WOW FML SOPHIE T_______________T “You know I do,” Chanyeol replies, and it sounds so genuine it hurts. / “Then you have to be there for me,” he says and they go quiet again. and just. UGh. GOD. HOW DID YOU KNOW RESPONSIBLE ADULT RELATIONSHIPS ARE MY FAVOURITE THING??????????

sobbbbb and to conclude with less dramatic feelings:

They don’t say much-there was nothing much to say between the both of them in the first place-but it’s a comfortable, relaxed silence perf kaibaek PERF

“Remember when I had to grab you by the arm when we were going into the city for the first time and your mom gave me weird looks for like, the whole entire month because she thought we were doing some weird S&M thing?” I'M FUCKING DYING, PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF CHANYEOL'S FUCKING VISE-GRIP and alskhglahsdg USELESS LUMP

sofei this is one of my fav baekyeols ever, this was like seamless

[knotweed]

tori i'm cry
i will post a better comment tomorrow when it's not one in the morning but UGH i love you so much to be honest I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU ;;;;;;;;;

[herocountry]

wow don't be cute WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE go away

[knotweed]

yeah i hadn't written anything in so long it surprised me when it got past 4000 words... and then ended up 8000+ i was like lmao what just happened it took me 3 - 4 years to write 8000+ words WHATEVA i do what i want!!!

gurrrl ok i'mma just list out my thoughts in bullet points

- i think that basically i am baekhyun this is why i write him like this because if i were him i would just kill everyone and laugh because now they feel my pain
wait
i mean

- thx gurl i love tao :'( and kyungsoo :'( i love all of them they are all my babies despite the fact that even sehun is older than me (i am actually the baby...)

- this whole fic ended up being sadder than i wanted!! i wanted like a funny topsy turvy french comedy kind of thing and then it ended up being.. this....... i am bad at writing funny maybe like one line of a one-liner...

- i am also chanyeol so he was easy too... i am everyone

- LOL is it maybe bad that i've never actually... been... in a relationship b4 like lmao this is probably how i would imagine relationships to be like someone as old as me, like not exactly jealous but SELFISH??? like both of them are selfish but in different ways and i wanted that to show bc like i don't believe in perfect couples (and if they do i pretend they don't exist and push them off some cliffs it's great) and like... i guess i wanted to show that they love each other (a lot!!) but had to deal with each others' flaws before they could mend themselves and yup what am i typing it's like 6:56 in the morning

- x not about x are my fav kind of arguments in fiction bc they make me hurt and i wanted to hurt all of you :)))))))))) JK BUT thx gurl :'(

- i actually wrote 'do u luv me' / 'gurl u no i do' / 'then you gotta b ther 4 me ok gurl' right after i wrote THEY BROKE UP ON A THURSDAY!! that was a line that ~essential~ and basically everything i wrote from 'they broke up on a thursday' to that exchange so basically i just typed on and on and on until it got there I'M GLAD IT GOT THERE i'm glad you like responsible adults ;;;;;;

- OK this is a confession but i actually ship baekai maybe more romantically than baekyeol LMAO like if you follow ~maknae on tumblr and read all her asks on baekai like i have been converted and now i'm sad bc no one who care about baekai :'( maybe i will write sum sad fic IDK BRO like i love baekyeol's friendship they are honestly CUTEST BFF's but sometimes i see a baekyeol moment that hits me so hard in the feels i want to just watch the world burn at my fingertips

:))))))))

- LMFAO O H M Y G O D when i first got into exo like one of the first photosets i've ever seen of any of them was CHANYEOL GRIPPING BAEKHYUN'S ARM IN BROAD DAYLIGHT OK I WAS LIKE WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS i was honestly so confused for weeks i was like w a t what's going on and the greatest part was that if you looked in the background suho and kai were just basically chilling drinking their coffee like it was no big deal and i was like what is wrong with this band........................... i honestly haven't thought about the arm grabbing in a while UNTIL I REALIZED THAT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PICTURE OF CHANYEOL GRABBING BAEKHYUN'S ARM IN EVERY AIRPORT i was so distressed i wanted to roll down a hill in a shopping cart and crash into a tree and die

also this is totally unrelated but ANYTHING + A SOFTER WORLD = i'm cry

also tori did you know i read your comment like six times last night
i'm cry
c r y
c r y

i love you ;;;;;; ♥ ♥ ♥

[herocountry]

LOL SOPHIE SHUT UP YOU ARE SO DUMB OMG :'))))))))))))) omg u bby also shut up x2 this fic was hilarious alskhdalsdk AND YOU PORTRAYED THE RELATIONSHIP SO WELL. ok i gotta say i've never thought about baekai before like ROMANTICALLY..... recently i am riding the krisyeolbaektao ot4 tbh, thank you happy camp *___*

[knotweed]

GET OUT TORI i hav feelings 2 u no i am so hurt :'(
:'((((

idk i love baekai because i always think kai is like... heroworshipping baekhyun and i think it's really cute but also super sad at the same time idk man i just love to put people through as much fictional emotional pain as possible it is my Thing... and ever since tao had to help baekhyun with his chinese introductions at the showcase and then in some interview/mag thing baekhyun was like 'yeah me and tao hung out every day in korea so now that he's in china i miss him a lot :'(' and i'm just ugh my two precious babies??? I H8 THEM ALL TBH... i never really liked kris all that much so i've never really paid attention to his ships but kristao is cute :'( also they have never done anything really but krisyeol really offends me and makes me want to burn the world down but i d k

lbr i'm just an angry enraged person who just hides it under passive aggressive behavior towards all forms of life

[herocountry]

omg gomen u____u wipes ur fairy tears

sob all my kai focus is wrapped up in him w/ kyungsoo and him w/ selu I WILL PAY MORE ATTENTION TO KAI/OTHERS IN THE FUTURE +___+ also omg no sophie I LOVE KRIS

[knotweed]

who's kris

[knotweed]

i found one baekai ask and there are more but i would have to backtrack like 40+ pages and i would get distracted and lost lmao i love ~maknae ;;