(no subject)
nostalgic I end up back here where most all my thoughts ended up until the day I found trance, raves and freedom.... No party tonight (save for a club), no birthday, no major event to detract me from an otherwise lost passion I had enjoyed for years and then failed to upkeep out of pure lethargy. I don't know when this type of moment will hit again next, so carpe' diem as the saying goes.
The last time I remember writing in here (without taking the extra second to backtrack through my logs) I had just posted a few random moments about a select few times I'd experienced while living the rave life. Chris Pesca and I were hitting parties up every once in a while just to experience how fun it was to be in a group of people that exuded no need to dress up in social facades and enjoy music and others companies in a welcoming atmosphere (albeit the drug related influences that caused a portion of the minimal conflict). During these events, not much really
developed besides meeting a bunch of random people and parting ways by the end of the night, though there were the few faces that became regulars that I adored seeing when they were there ( becka i'm looking at you!!)
There I had met my last ex there, a cute little chinese girl that probably taught me the most about anything, everything, and nothing at all at the same time. I had always believed being a good person, being a happy person, being as true to yourself and to support and love another person was all that was needed to force any relationship to shine... but sadly things are never really that storybook in real life. People can be deceitful, and I don't mean that in any harsh way, but as a statement of true character. Whether it be past, environment or influence, some people are made to certain circumstances and try as you might to pull them out of their cycle, it's evident that change can't be made with what you have to offer.
Yes...there was happiness. In that happiness was un-explainable things that could only be described with flashing moments of emotion and relived by closing your eyes and imagining, failing in words what those feelings brought to life. On the contrary......well....on the contrary i'm proud to say there was none. Effort, time, understanding culminated into an opportunity I never regret taking, but I did learn from. Things fell by the wayside eventually after lies contradicted more lies and it was something that had to end.
Filling the void, I took to finding friends in a scene that I loved regardless of those past events. Of all people I ended up hanging out with to redeem my spattered ego, her older brother chol ( aka bouncy) and said crew invited me to hang out with them for a few weeks. From there, a lot of events happened that even as I think back on them now, I know I neither have the capacity nor the memory to recall all of them.......but i'll try ^^.
Things hit off with party after party every weekend as I worked at teletch down in bremerton. Driving up and down to seattle after the first two months or so, it became almost second nature to pack my things up for the weekend o friday and then head on out with no real destination besides the spot in mind. The spot, as you might not be familiar with was a small upstairs room that housed weekly raves and that came to be the location where most of us initialy congregated before setting of to other endeavors.....usually not far from that location or ended up back there on sunday. There were plenty of times it would be friday night as I walked in, and sunday night as I walked out. I sometimes question due to the duration of time with no sleep how I actually made it back to bremerton safely and on time to go to work the next day but I did.
From gigantic 20,000 person parties, outdoor raves in the middle of no where with turntables on the back of moving vans, watching the sunrise on different lakes with hundreds of people, driving down to different states for different events, even hopping from one warehouse to another five times in a night!~ never was I thinking that this was something I could've experienced some other way better than this. It was unique, amazing, and surreal to know that these were events that during this time in my life, it would only permit. I met amazing people, I met despicable people. I did things that only now seemed a little rash, and things that in turn became turning points in my life. I lived.......and as best as I can put it, that sums it up right there.
The only thing that I could really think back and regret about that hectic year was that in the end, it drove me far away from a lot of the close people I knew prior to that time. My best friend carlo, I only now am seeing him on occasion from the almost every weekend we used to kick it. My S-con friends especially by bro Nick, lack of internet and lack of time dwindled what I had as a regular event with all of them. My Mall buddies, and my great gal pal Jussie, now and then do we conversate between busy lives. And especially my family...not that I didn't spend sufficient time with them, but I would've like that to be more.....things change and they are happening slowly though ^^.
Of course.....living and living so far in bremerton, could only go so far before cost vs. time vs. convenience eventually got the better of me and before long it became time to move out on my own. As luck would have it, my current roommates sue and daryl were in a very similar predicament and on a whim, we decided to get a place nearby and a job that paid enough to cover expenses to a comfortable status. I'm glad to say that to this day it still was one of the best decisions I've made.
ohk enough for now but next time it should be more event exclusive, if i find the time needed.
The last time I remember writing in here (without taking the extra second to backtrack through my logs) I had just posted a few random moments about a select few times I'd experienced while living the rave life. Chris Pesca and I were hitting parties up every once in a while just to experience how fun it was to be in a group of people that exuded no need to dress up in social facades and enjoy music and others companies in a welcoming atmosphere (albeit the drug related influences that caused a portion of the minimal conflict). During these events, not much really
developed besides meeting a bunch of random people and parting ways by the end of the night, though there were the few faces that became regulars that I adored seeing when they were there ( becka i'm looking at you!!)
There I had met my last ex there, a cute little chinese girl that probably taught me the most about anything, everything, and nothing at all at the same time. I had always believed being a good person, being a happy person, being as true to yourself and to support and love another person was all that was needed to force any relationship to shine... but sadly things are never really that storybook in real life. People can be deceitful, and I don't mean that in any harsh way, but as a statement of true character. Whether it be past, environment or influence, some people are made to certain circumstances and try as you might to pull them out of their cycle, it's evident that change can't be made with what you have to offer.
Yes...there was happiness. In that happiness was un-explainable things that could only be described with flashing moments of emotion and relived by closing your eyes and imagining, failing in words what those feelings brought to life. On the contrary......well....on the contrary i'm proud to say there was none. Effort, time, understanding culminated into an opportunity I never regret taking, but I did learn from. Things fell by the wayside eventually after lies contradicted more lies and it was something that had to end.
Filling the void, I took to finding friends in a scene that I loved regardless of those past events. Of all people I ended up hanging out with to redeem my spattered ego, her older brother chol ( aka bouncy) and said crew invited me to hang out with them for a few weeks. From there, a lot of events happened that even as I think back on them now, I know I neither have the capacity nor the memory to recall all of them.......but i'll try ^^.
Things hit off with party after party every weekend as I worked at teletch down in bremerton. Driving up and down to seattle after the first two months or so, it became almost second nature to pack my things up for the weekend o friday and then head on out with no real destination besides the spot in mind. The spot, as you might not be familiar with was a small upstairs room that housed weekly raves and that came to be the location where most of us initialy congregated before setting of to other endeavors.....usually not far from that location or ended up back there on sunday. There were plenty of times it would be friday night as I walked in, and sunday night as I walked out. I sometimes question due to the duration of time with no sleep how I actually made it back to bremerton safely and on time to go to work the next day but I did.
From gigantic 20,000 person parties, outdoor raves in the middle of no where with turntables on the back of moving vans, watching the sunrise on different lakes with hundreds of people, driving down to different states for different events, even hopping from one warehouse to another five times in a night!~ never was I thinking that this was something I could've experienced some other way better than this. It was unique, amazing, and surreal to know that these were events that during this time in my life, it would only permit. I met amazing people, I met despicable people. I did things that only now seemed a little rash, and things that in turn became turning points in my life. I lived.......and as best as I can put it, that sums it up right there.
The only thing that I could really think back and regret about that hectic year was that in the end, it drove me far away from a lot of the close people I knew prior to that time. My best friend carlo, I only now am seeing him on occasion from the almost every weekend we used to kick it. My S-con friends especially by bro Nick, lack of internet and lack of time dwindled what I had as a regular event with all of them. My Mall buddies, and my great gal pal Jussie, now and then do we conversate between busy lives. And especially my family...not that I didn't spend sufficient time with them, but I would've like that to be more.....things change and they are happening slowly though ^^.
Of course.....living and living so far in bremerton, could only go so far before cost vs. time vs. convenience eventually got the better of me and before long it became time to move out on my own. As luck would have it, my current roommates sue and daryl were in a very similar predicament and on a whim, we decided to get a place nearby and a job that paid enough to cover expenses to a comfortable status. I'm glad to say that to this day it still was one of the best decisions I've made.
ohk enough for now but next time it should be more event exclusive, if i find the time needed.