QUESTION!
I've really been asking myself lately, and I mean INTENSELY asking myself lately, what the HELL I'm so stressed over?
I bring it all on myself and create it in my own head. Case in point!
1) Work. I have the greatest job in the world at the time being. It probably won't be a career for me, but who knows? Like, ok, the pay COULD be a little better (*aside* not gonna lie), but I get to chill out in a house all day with cool teenagers and clean, and encourage them to make good choices and get to go on all these ridiculous outings all.the.time. Every once in a while it DOES get intense, but that's what you get sometimes in human services, but whatever. It's a fucking kick ass job.
2) Relationship status (or lack thereof, whatever you want to call it). I'm SINGLE! I don't know why I always have such a problem telling myself this. I sabotage the possibility of just enjoying myself and my life and the fact I'm not tied down. I kind of started to realize that I totally always had to have myself hung up on someone...and it was always a BLATANT not-a-possibility sort of thang: in high school it was girls (and, PS, for those of you that don't know me, I was a closeted & unaware homospeshual; don't get me wrong: everyone else knew it...just not me!) and then it was someone far away that wasn't interested in me and a few college boys (who, were, ALSO, uninterested), and then I moved onto...god...I still don't know what that situation was. That's how complicated it was. Following that mess was probably the biggest and most horrible mess of a situation I ever drowned myself in. It was the worst possible thing to do to my self-esteem. What's worse is I KNEW I was doing it and continued to just become dumber and dumber, the entire time. So, of course I came to a realization that, as I've gotten over the latter deal, I began to hang heart on another obvious impossibility. And believe it or not, GUESS what I've decided? I'm gonna stop now before I have NO self-esteem left (cus, it's only been like two, three months since this could've even began), say FUCK it, and just do my best to get over it and enjoy being single. There are way too many things that I feel I need to do for myself to get mine before I can even realistically have any sort of "normal" or healthy relationship. That'll just happen when the time is right; for now, I can just have fun and run shit!
3) Friends. So like, I pretty much have the greatest group of friends in the world.
So, I think that about sums it up. I got shit to complain about and am only not enjoying myself and being happy simply because I am not allowing myself too!
Holler!
I bring it all on myself and create it in my own head. Case in point!
1) Work. I have the greatest job in the world at the time being. It probably won't be a career for me, but who knows? Like, ok, the pay COULD be a little better (*aside* not gonna lie), but I get to chill out in a house all day with cool teenagers and clean, and encourage them to make good choices and get to go on all these ridiculous outings all.the.time. Every once in a while it DOES get intense, but that's what you get sometimes in human services, but whatever. It's a fucking kick ass job.
2) Relationship status (or lack thereof, whatever you want to call it). I'm SINGLE! I don't know why I always have such a problem telling myself this. I sabotage the possibility of just enjoying myself and my life and the fact I'm not tied down. I kind of started to realize that I totally always had to have myself hung up on someone...and it was always a BLATANT not-a-possibility sort of thang: in high school it was girls (and, PS, for those of you that don't know me, I was a closeted & unaware homospeshual; don't get me wrong: everyone else knew it...just not me!) and then it was someone far away that wasn't interested in me and a few college boys (who, were, ALSO, uninterested), and then I moved onto...god...I still don't know what that situation was. That's how complicated it was. Following that mess was probably the biggest and most horrible mess of a situation I ever drowned myself in. It was the worst possible thing to do to my self-esteem. What's worse is I KNEW I was doing it and continued to just become dumber and dumber, the entire time. So, of course I came to a realization that, as I've gotten over the latter deal, I began to hang heart on another obvious impossibility. And believe it or not, GUESS what I've decided? I'm gonna stop now before I have NO self-esteem left (cus, it's only been like two, three months since this could've even began), say FUCK it, and just do my best to get over it and enjoy being single. There are way too many things that I feel I need to do for myself to get mine before I can even realistically have any sort of "normal" or healthy relationship. That'll just happen when the time is right; for now, I can just have fun and run shit!
3) Friends. So like, I pretty much have the greatest group of friends in the world.
So, I think that about sums it up. I got shit to complain about and am only not enjoying myself and being happy simply because I am not allowing myself too!
Holler!