"How about I send you back to Shinjuku in a baggie?"

[knkfics]

A/N: Apologies for one more OC. This one is fairly minor and was kind of unavoidable. Hopefully you'll like her despite her OCness. ^_^ To make up for it, this chapter is extra long; there was no good place to split it. Enjoy!

Chapter Eleven

Celty let her thoughts wander as Shinra educated the kids on faeries. After all, she knew it already. In some ways, she was actually glad that Ceallach had come in and stirred up trouble. It seemed to be bringing the group of them closer. Even Izaya, in his own unique way. Which, now that she thought about it, seemed entirely reasonable for a puck.

She wasn't sure how long it would have taken for her to see the truth about the two changelings if it hadn't been for Ceallach. It made her feel a bit less displaced. Ikebukuro had welcomed her with open arms, but she was still an oddity, something you wouldn't expect to find there.

A lot like this Mask. This was a long way from home for it. So why would anyone bring it here? Because it was stolen. Celty was learning from the people in the underworld who often hired her. Stolen items without an immediate buyer were hidden until the hunt for them died out.

For fae, that could be a very long time. She tuned Shinra out completely then, focusing on the issue. Fae often played what might seem like a very long game to humans. When your lifetime could easily extend into the thousands of years, a human lifetime wasn't that long. If she had been the one to steal it, she would have done exactly this. Hide it amongst humans and wait for even the memory of it to fade.

But you couldn't leave something like this unguarded, thus the protectors. Though, her fingers drummed against her knees as she puzzled things out, wouldn't the thief be worried about the guards either dying or taking the prize for themselves? She reached out and picked up Saki's list. She didn't know everyone, but the names she did know belonged to non-humans, with the exception of Masaomi.

Using other fae would clear up the trouble with death. It didn't stop them from leaving, though, and having your guards able to walk away would be useless. Fae could fall victim to fae magic though, so maybe they couldn't leave. But still, what if they stole it?

What if they didn't know? That would work. They were just there, to guard the city in general from an intrusive presence, without necessarily even being aware of the Mask’s existence. But who would accept a job like that? Had they been forced? Had they even known?

What if they had been children?

If the guards were young, they would have always lived in Ikebukuro. She sat up straight and her PDA nearly collided with Izaya's nose. 'Why didn't you stay in Shinjuku?'

“What?” Izaya blinked at her, having almost dozed off while half-listening to Shinra’s explanations. “Why’d I leave?” He yawned. “I had to leave. I’d framed Shizu-chan for, for, that thing.” Another yawn. “What was it again?”

Shizuo's fists clenched. Celty waved a hand at him. This was important. 'I know why you left. Why did you come back?'

That startled Shizuo out of his anger. Celty usually didn't blow him off like that.

“Why not?” Izaya asked, with a shrug. “Ikebukuro is just so interesting. I like Shinjuku okay, but it wasn’t home. Not like Ikebukuro is.”

'But why? Give me specific reasons.' Somehow, Celty was pretty sure he couldn't.

“Why do you all of a sudden care?” Izaya asked. “I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about that sort of thing, anyway. I came back to Ikebukuro because I wanted to. Because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Which . . .” He frowned, suddenly realizing what Celty was getting at. “Which was kind of funny because I knew, intellectually, that it was a bad idea. Shizu-chan having threatened to kill me if I ever set foot in Ikebukuro again . . . well, and I sort of came to meet Mikado-kun, because he had said he was moving here . . . there were a lot of different reasons, I guess.”

'But you stayed. Even meeting Mikado wouldn't have meant you had to stay.'

“But Mikado-kun was so cute and interesting,” Izaya said, mostly to see whether or not Masaomi would start hissing and spitting again.

It worked like a charm. "How about I send you back to Shinjuku in a baggie?"

Izaya snickered. “Adorable,” he said, mostly to himself. Saki smacked him upside the head. This seemed to faze Izaya very little; he gave her an amused look and said, “No, it’s true that I didn’t have to stay in Ikebukuro after I met Mikado-kun. It was just that once I got back here, I realized how much I had missed it. Make your point, Celty. I think we’re all getting there.”

'I don't think you can leave.' She let that hang there for a second. 'Why is the Mask here, in such an unlikely place? Because the thief is waiting for people to forget about it.'

Anri raised her hand and said shyly, “Wouldn’t that be a really long time, if faeries are the ones looking for it?”

Celty gave her a thumbs up. 'A couple hundred years at least.'

Mikado was already thinking ahead along the same lines as Celty had been, staring out into the distance. “So who would volunteer to stay in Ikebukuro for hundreds of years just to protect something?”

'I don't think anyone. The thief wouldn't be able to trust anyone who knew about it.'

“And you think I’m one of them,” Izaya said, cutting to the chase. “Because I’m a changeling. Someone probably stole me from my real parents, whoever they are, and dumped me here. Magicked me up so I couldn’t leave Ikebukuro. All that I get, but how am I supposed to protect something if I don’t know where it is? Or, until this week, that it even exists?”

Celty thought about that. 'He stole and hid you. Put a binding on you to hold you here. He could have done other magicks easily. You can't steal what you don't know about, nor can you tell anyone about it.' She pulled the PDA back and typed a bit longer. 'Protection isn't always a guardian. Sometimes it's just a good lock. But for that, you need a key.'

Izaya stretched, putting his hands behind his head. “If we ever find whoever did this,” he said, his voice just as pleasant as usual, “I’m going to destroy them.”

'Get in line.' Stealing babies was pretty much unforgivable. Working any sort of magic on them that wasn't for their own protection didn't just cross the line, it leapt over it.

Mikado was frowning. “If whoever hid the Mask was such a bad person to begin with, maybe Ceallach . . .” His voice trailed off. He obviously wasn’t comfortable suggesting that Ceallach might be the protagonist of whatever story they were piecing together, but the implication was obviously there.

'No.' The word was absolute, all on its own on the screen.

“I’m not arguing,” Shinra said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “But I am curious about your vehemence.”

'He hurt Izaya. Knowing he was a child, Ceallach still hurt him.' Celty's posture was stiff and tight. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got.

“Look, your mama bear routine is kind of cute and really interesting on a psychological level,” Izaya said, “but how about you stop calling me a child?”

'You're only twenty-four. You're almost still a baby.' She said this partly because it was true and partly to tease him.

“While I will admit that, proportionally speaking, I’m pretty young,” Izaya said, “that doesn’t make me a baby.”

'I'll admit that growing up as human changes things some. It makes you intellectually older and magically younger.' She wiped the screen clear. 'Certainly young enough to be untouchable.' She shrugged then. 'Besides, I remember the last two hundred years. Who knows how old I actually am? You're all children.'

“Oi, Celty, you don’t think of me as a child, do you?” Shinra asked, then added hastily, “Don’t answer that.” Out of everyone in the room, only Shinra could actually read her expression. She was giving him a look. He swooned. “Celty! I love you so much!”

Celty just wilted.

“Yeah, that’s really touching and all,” Izaya said, “but it doesn’t exactly answer any of our questions. Like who the second protector and/or key is.”

Mikado blinked. “It would be Shizuo-san, wouldn’t it?”

Shizuo looked over at him. "Huh?"

“Ah - ” Mikado quailed despite himself, but then rallied. “When Ceallach was telling me about the artifact, he said that the protectors . . . how did he phrase it?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mention it before because I can’t remember exactly what he said, so much else happened. He said something about how the mask represented singleness, which makes sense now that we know what it is. There’s only one truth, right? And he said that the protectors represented duality. Which . . . well, you can’t get much more opposite than Shizuo-san and Izaya-san, right? Plus they’re both changelings, and both about the same age, so it would make sense that they were put here at the same time.”

'You're right,’ Celty said. ‘You can't get much more different than a puck and a troll.'

"Good," Shizuo muttered, glaring at Izaya. He pulled out a cigarette, but stopped short of lighting it. Shinra didn't let him smoke here.

Izaya’s lazy smirk appeared. “And just think - now you’re stuck with me for way longer than a regular human lifetime.”

"Not if I kill you." Shizuo sounded almost reasonable about it.

“Well, maybe once we’ve dealt with all this and broken whatever magic was done to us, I’ll be able to go back to Shinjuku and live there happily ever after,” Izaya said, though he had no real intention of leaving Ikebukuro again, magic or no magic.

“I don’t believe you.”

Izaya just shrugged.

“Wait,” Saki said, suddenly. “Wait, something doesn’t make sense. We figured that Ceallach was asking for information on people because he wanted to get the location of the Mask from the protectors. But if you two are the protectors, or keys or whatever, and you’ve no idea where it’s been hidden, then why is Ceallach so intent on finding you?”

“That’s right,” Mikado said, blinking at her. “You’d think he would want to avoid the people protecting it normally, which means that he knows they’re ‘keys’, not actual guardians.”

'And to know that he'd have had to see the protective magic.' Celty said.

“So the reason they kept Izaya-san in their hideout had nothing to do with trying to find me,” Mikado said. “They just figured they would try to kill two birds with one stone while they had him down there.”

'Maybe. I don't know if the magic would have reacted to him.' She cleared the screen and started again. 'So this list is just to pick up the second key.'

“Well, logically, he’s not sure about Izaya-san,” Saki said, tapping where Izaya’s name appeared on the list. “I think he probably held him because he’s a possibility. He obviously figured out that Izaya-san isn’t human and wanted to keep his options open. Either way, the point still stands - if he knows enough to realize that he’s looking for keys and not guardians, how can he expect to ask them where the Mask is?”

“You think he already knows,” Mikado said.

'Maybe he came here knowing where it was, just not how to get to it.’

“Ah,” Izaya said, suddenly blinking, coming out of his drugged stupor slightly. “That subway station they’re holing up in? It disappeared off the face of the map around the same time I was born. Something having to do with an earthquake, or so everyone thought at the time. That must be where it is. He’s camped right on top of it.”

"He makes it his headquarters so even if someone else finds it, he can fight them off," Masaomi added.

“So . . .” Mikado blinked. “Is that it? Is it that simple? We know where it is and we know who the keys are. Could we actually just walk in and get it?”

‘It's hard to tell,’ Celty said. ‘It might be that simple, or it may require a sacrifice of some sort or even the thief being there.'

“Well, how do we find out?” Mikado asked.

Celty shrugged. 'Try it.'

Izaya laughed and said, “Because I’m sure this asshole would take really well to the group of us waltzing in there and trying it.”

'I didn't say it would be easy. Just that it's how to find out.'

Mikado looked between the two men, then over at Celty. “If the original thief put some sort of magic on them to turn them into keys, or what-have-you,” he said, “along with the magic that keeps them in Ikebukuro, is there any way to figure out what sort of magic he did? That might help us get a better idea of what will be necessary if we go to get the Mask.”

'I don't know,’ Celty typed. ‘I'm not very good at a lot of complicated magic. Or if I am, I can't remember without my head.'

“Logically speaking,” Izaya said, “knowing the exact nature of the spell probably wouldn’t help that much anyway. The spell is probably something that would force us to do whatever the thief wanted, so he could use us to get back the Mask. From my research, that seems like a standard compulsion spell, and wouldn’t be limited to cover only the actual act of retrieving the Mask.” His gaze shifted, very slightly, to Shizuo, and then he continued, “This asshole could waltz back into town and make us do whatever he wanted.”

Shizuo clearly didn't like this. He bit down on the cigarette.

'I wouldn't let anyone do that to you. Either of you.'

Izaya shook his head. “I appreciate that - honestly - except from what I’ve been able to find out, you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Short of killing the thief. Which, if you’d like to do, I would have no problem with.”

‘Good.’

An awkward silence followed.

“As, uh, as heartwarming as that is,” Mikado said, “it really doesn’t get us any further in solving our current problem.”

Masaomi raised a hand. "Can we find someone who would know how to find out?"

“Such as?” Shinra asked.

Saki pointed to the list. “Well, these people are probably all fae of some sort. Maybe we could check them out and see if any of them know?”

Celty looked at the list. 'Some of them we could ask. I'd trust them.'

“Some of them are Dollars,” Mikado added.

'Which ones? If it overlaps, we know who to go to.'

Even Mikado wasn’t entirely sure of who was and was not in his gang, something that often amused the others, as their online handles had little to do with their real names. He looked over the list, then put his head together with Saki and Izaya. Several minutes of arguing later - Izaya overruled Mikado twice, annoying the teenager beyond words - they had three names circled beyond the people who were currently sitting in the room. Mikado waited until Izaya wasn’t looking, then reached out and circled a fourth. Saki snickered behind her hand. Masaomi snorted and then pretended his nose itched.

Celty took the list and looked it over again. She tapped a name. Fortunately, it was not the one Mikado had circled behind Izaya’s back. 'This one.'

“What kind of fae are they?” Shinra asked, wondering if he could smuggle a video camera to the meeting, to which he probably would not be invited.

'She's not exactly a fae. She’s native to here, more of a kami.' Celty pulled back the PDA and waved a hand as if to say 'anyway' before typing again. 'She's been around a long time and if it has to do with the city itself she can usually sort it out.'

“So . . . why don’t we go to this person all the time?” Shinra asked. “And why didn’t Orihara-kun know about her?”

“And why did she join the Dollars?” Mikado asked, looking mystified.

'She knows the city itself. The buildings and such. Not the people. And Izaya didn't know because she didn't want him to." Celty shrugged and then started typing again. 'I think she joined the Dollars for fun.'

“I . . . guess,” Mikado said, still stumped. Several of the others exchanged a look. Mikado could be extraordinarily dense at times about exactly how popular his own gang was, and the many reasons different people joined. Now didn’t seem to be the time to try to explain it to him, however. “Do you know where she is? And is it okay if you tell people? Or should we just try to set up a meeting?”

'I'll ask her to meet us. She won’t want us to know where her home is.'

“Well, get texting,” Izaya said. “No time like the present.”

'She's going to love you.'

“Everybody loves me,” Izaya said, smirking.

The others all looked at each other. Shinra sighed. “Okay,” he said, “you were right. Next time it’s just straight painkillers. I promise I won’t give him narcotics again unless he gets, I don’t know, disemboweled or something.”

"I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet," Masaomi said.

"He's too slippery to catch," Shizuo offered as an explanation.

“On that note,” Izaya said, “I’m going home. Some doctor told me that I should get some rest or something. He’s probably a quack, but then again, I am pretty tired. Celty, you’ll text me the details about the meeting?”

'Yes. Go. Before someone injures you.'

Izaya tossed off a sloppy salute, then got to his feet. He immediately wobbled, stumbled, and caught himself on Shizuo’s chair, nearly falling into the blonde’s lap. “The floor is very wavy,” he said, blinking around the apartment. “Shinra . . . exactly what did you give me, and how much of it?”

Shinra rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “Well, I didn’t want you able to take the splint off, so I may have possibly given you something that would affect your gross motor skills and coordination. I think you didn’t notice until now because you were just sitting down, but it may not be a good idea for you to try to walk.” He saw Izaya’s icy glare and said, “I’ll just go call you a taxi then, shall I?”

Shizuo glared. "Get off of me," he said, though he wasn't actually mean enough to shove him.

'Is Namie at the office to make sure you get in okay?' Celty asked.

“Namie-san is in Okinawa,” Izaya said. He wasn’t getting up, but it was less out of spite and more because he didn’t want to fall on his face in front of everybody. “I didn’t want her hanging around getting any cute ideas about . . . about anything,” he said, seeing the look on Mikado’s face. To say nothing of Masaomi’s narrowed eyes. “I’m sure I can manage my way from a taxi to my apartment.”

"Uh . . ." Saki said, sounding uncertain.

'I'll take you home,' Celty said, before standing.

Izaya opened one eye and looked irritated. “I’m fine,” he said. To prove his point, he let go of the chair and removed his hand from Shizuo’s shoulder. “See?” he asked, and started towards the door of the apartment. His knees immediately unhinged and dumped him on the floor in a heap. He stayed there for a few moments, listening to the chorus of smothered giggles, then said, “Shinra, you’re going to pay for this someday.”

'We need another spare room,' Celty said to Shinra as she went to peel Izaya off the floor. Saki stood to help from the other side.

“We could go,” Mikado offered hesitantly. “If Shinra-sensei thinks that Masaomi is okay without any further medical supervision.”

“I am going home,” Izaya declared. “I do not want to spend another night under the care of the man who gave me a paralytic without warning me. Thank you.”

Celty heaved a smoky sigh and grabbed her helmet to put on while Saki was steadying Izaya. Then she pulled his arm across her shoulder and put an arm around his waist.

“I just want it clear that I’m not paying you for this,” Izaya said, as he did his best to stumble along beside her. “Since it’s your boyfriend’s fault and everything.”

“To be fair,” Shinra said, “if we have any interest in being fair, I figured that you were going to go straight home after I wrapped your arm in masking tape, and by the time the paralytic kicked in, you would be there. Then you could stagger your way into bed and not torment anybody for eight to twelve hours until it wore off. But no, you decided to stay here so you could annoy Shizuo-kun and Masaomi-kun, so really, it’s as much your fault as mine.”

If Celty had been capable of communicating at the moment, she would have made a comment about longing for adult company. As she couldn’t, she just tugged Izaya towards the door, in the hopes of derailing the cat fight before it could really kick into gear. Izaya gave Shinra one last glare, but surprisingly went without further commentary. He knew just as well as Celty did that, although Shinra didn’t take things seriously ninety-nine percent of the time, that last one percent of the time could be a doozy. That one percent usually had to do with what was best for his patients, so arguing his proper use of medication was simply doomed for failure.

Besides, the idea of eight to twelve hours of sleep was pretty appealing.

They were almost at the door when it occurred to Saki that pointed ears were not normal. "Izaya? Ears. No one will believe that you're cosplaying a Vulcan."

“Huh? Oh, right.” Izaya shook himself slightly, like a dog shaking off water. The image of him standing there blurred and rippled, causing most of the humans to blink several times, and then the man they were used to was there, still draped between Saki and Celty for support. Shizuo didn't feel any need to look away.

"Freaky," Masaomi said, though he seemed impressed.

Celty merely shook her helmet and started to lead Izaya away again.

~ ~ ~ ~

Celty thought it was nice to have someone on the bike with her that she didn't have to worry about falling off. Most of the time Shizuo could maintain his own balance and if he couldn't, he was smart enough to wrap his arms around her without prompting. He even wore the helmet she created without argument.

Not long ago, she had sent a text to Izaya telling him where to meet her. Once she had picked Shizuo up, it hadn't taken long to get to their high-rise destination. Izaya arrived a few minutes later on foot, looking none the worse - in fact, looking a good deal better - for the night of enforced rest. He nodded hello to her and seemed content to pretend that Shizuo didn’t exist. Shizuo was willing to return the favor.

Celty raised a hand in greeting and gestured to the door, asking if everyone was ready. Izaya nodded and smirked. “Ladies first.” Celty wanted desperately to roll her eyes, but she wasn't sure exactly where they were, so she settled for marching forward and opening the door. Shizuo made it clear he expected Izaya to go next. Izaya put his hands in his pockets and sauntered through as if he didn’t have a care in the world, following Celty over to the elevator.

Shizuo followed them in. Celty pressed the button to call the elevator and then, once they were all inside, she hit the button for the penthouse. Once the doors closed, she dropped her PDA into her hand and typed. The message was shown to Izaya. 'Try to be polite.' After a second she realized this was a lost cause. 'At least try not to be rude.'

“You know, this may come as something of a surprise to both of you,” Izaya said, “but I am a businessman, and I have lots of clients who don’t tolerate rudeness.”

'Yes, but I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the Lady of the City.'

Izaya shrugged. “I’ll behave myself if she does.”

Celty chose not to say anything else, but clearly thought that they were in for an interesting afternoon. The elevator dinged and slid open on the topmost floor of the building. They stepped out expecting to see perhaps a hallway with another door, but instead they walked directly into the penthouse suite. At one point in its existence, it had probably been beautiful, but it was clearly the living space of someone who had far too much else to do to bother with decorating. Stacks of belongings were piled everywhere. Books and papers lived in untidy piles. There were bookshelves on every wall, and chairs all over the place, all of them covered with clutter. Some of the piles were coated with a thin layer of dust. An equal number of chairs had potted plants living on top of them.

Music was playing, something classical, with the distinct scratchiness of an old record player rather than anything more modern. Yet despite this, in one corner was a very advanced looking computer, complete with a multi-function printer/scanner and other expensive peripherals. The monitor was on, displaying a screensaver that made it look like they were traveling through outer space.

The floor, what of it they could see, was tile. The walls were covered by decorations of every variety. Paintings, posters, newspaper clippings, tapestries. Not an inch of the wall underneath was visible except around the large bay windows, which allowed the sunlight to stream in and afforded a spectacular view of the city below.

It was not what Shizuo had expected by any means. In his mind the words 'lady' conjured up images of lace curtains, brocade chairs and hand-painted British tea sets. Or maybe tatami mats, formal kimonos and wood block prints done by the masters. Not this haphazard clutter. But he kept his surprise to himself and paid careful attention to where he put his feet.

Celty wasn't really surprised. She had enough of her old memories to understand that age often made people eccentric. She figured she would get there herself eventually. Izaya, for his part, merely looked around slowly, doing a formal catalogue of the penthouse as if he expected there to be a quiz later.

There was a flutter and a bird appeared out of one of the adjacent rooms. It landed on a perch just in front of them and tilted its head to one side. Then it squawked. “Visitors! Visitors!”

Shizuo was immediately fascinated by the animal. He approached the bird and peered at it from what seemed like a correct distance and then held out a hand to it. It gave him a considering look before extending a claw and resting it on his outstretched finger, bobbing up and down as if shaking hands.

“You just get cuter every day, Shizu-chan,” Izaya remarked.

Shizuo gravely shook hands with the bird. "I like animals." The words were directed at Izaya even though his attention stayed on the birds, and his tone dared him to make an issue of it.

Celty decided that they could bicker all they wanted as long as there was no violence.

“Finding companionship on an intellectual level?” Izaya asked, smirking.

Shizuo turned to glare at Izaya with a growl, though his finger, still in the bird's grip, didn't move.

Celty shoved her PDA into Izaya's face. 'I'd hate to have to gag you.'

“Actually,” a new voice said, “I rather imagine you would enjoy that.”

All three of them turned to see the Lady of the City as she entered the room. This was more in line with what the two who hadn’t met her had expected. She was tall for a woman, with classically beautiful Japanese features. Her hair hung straight to her waist, mostly black but with several streaks of gray. She was, in fact, wearing a formal kimono that was dark blue and purple, along with geta. She walked carefully, picking her way across the clutter, and the bird immediately left Shizuo and flew over to perch on her shoulder, preening there.

Shizuo blinked in confusion. Oh, he could guess roughly what Celty had said to Izaya, but how had this woman known? From where she was standing, there was no way she could have seen the PDA.

Celty typed and then held it out to the Lady of the City. 'Maybe. A little. I try to tell myself that he's a child.'

“A child!” the Lady laughed merrily. “How generous you are. Come in, please, sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Tea?”

Shizuo grinned at the comment and then seemed to remember his manners. He bowed to her. Once he was upright, he looked to Celty quickly and then accepted for both of them. "Yes, please." Though he looked around, not at all sure where they should sit.

“Oh, anywhere is fine,” the Lady said. She waved a hand negligently and a tea service cart came rolling into the room of its own accord, parking next to a table that was suddenly, miraculously, free of clutter. The chairs, however, had not cleared. At her words, Izaya shrugged, moved a stack of books off one of them, and sat down.

Celty gave a shrug and began to do the same, respectfully setting the books aside and putting the small potted tree in a place where it would still get sunlight. Shizuo copied her and soon they were both seated. The Lady was bustling around with the tea service. “Now, let me see . . .” She pointed to each of them in turn. “Milk tea with extra sugar for you, plain green for you, and there’s a nice rose tea for you, Celty, dear, it should smell quite strong.” She poured four mugs from the single teapot, each one of them coming out as something different, and shared out the mugs. Shizuo and Celty took their mugs with a nod of thanks from each; even Izaya looked impressed and intrigued by the teapot. After a moment Celty reached up and took her helmet off and then cradled the mug in her hands.

“So!” The Lady rubbed her hands together and peered at the two men. “You’re a bundle of trouble and no mistake.”

'And that's even without the recent events.' Celty said, but she patted Shizuo's arm once to show she meant no harm with the words, knowing he could be oddly sensitive. Izaya, however, enjoyed being a trouble spot.

“A puck and a troll.” After a pause, the Lady shook her head and said sadly, “That’s the trouble with sneaking imports past customs. The local balance gets all fouled up because of it and the indigenous wildlife suffers. But that’s all right. Ikebukuro thrives on change, on the gathering of many disparate factors. Things come together here that would otherwise never be in the same place at the same time.” She sipped her tea. “Ikebukuro is a great confluence of natural energy, and the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

Izaya let out a snort. “And people say I’m cryptic.”

'That's because you are,' Celty told him.

“Okay, look, uh . . .” Izaya frowned. “What are we supposed to call you?”

“I’ve been called many things, but for the purposes of this conversation, I suppose just ‘Lady’ will do as well as anything else.”

Izaya laughed suddenly. “Sounds like I’m calling a dog.”

“Oh?” The Lady’s tone held disinterest. “I suppose there are worse things. Isaiah was martyred, you know. He was sawed in half.”

Nobody knew what to say to that. Izaya’s mouth worked soundlessly for a moment before he managed, “Duly noted, Lady.”

There was another long pause and then Celty said, 'Not tolerant of rudeness indeed.'

“Oh, I’m not suggesting that as a solution to the current problem,” the Lady said, “merely pointing out that there are more things in the world than names. As our so elegantly-named taichou would be happy to point out, I’m sure.” She shook her head and clucked her tongue. “How they managed to give him that name without realizing the interesting life he would lead is completely beyond me . . .”

Since she seemed prepared to ramble for some time, Izaya cautiously interrupted her. “Lady,” he said, “we need information on the magicks that were done to us when we were hidden here.”

"Please," Shizuo tacked on. He knew little about the Bible, but the name comparison was enough to make him think that they should go for painfully polite here.

Izaya gave him a sideways glance and opened his mouth to make a pithy remark about Shizuo being afraid of an old lady. Then, for once, he thought better of the idea and added, “We’ll pay for the information, of course.”

“Piffle,” she said, waving him off. “We’re all Dollars here, are we not? And as I’m sure Celty here has told you, there is a certain responsibility we all share when it comes to changelings. What, exactly, do you need to know?”

Celty watched Izaya and Shizuo and had to wonder if she was the only one that realized that the comment about Isaiah wasn't actually a threat. Though if it kept a civil tongue is Izaya's mouth . . . 'We need to know about the compulsion spell laid on them.'

“Hm, hm, of course,” the Lady said, sipping her tea. She leaned back in her chair and gave both of the men a thorough look. “Two guardians,” she said, “that represent the duality of the world. Whoever did this certainly thinks that he is very clever, hm? There’s a standard compulsion, of course, one that would force them to obey our clever thief. Have to be laid on fae as a child, or else it would never take . . . which I’m sure you knew already? But there is something deeper . . . much more subtle . . . hidden under the obvious.”

Celty pondered that for a moment. Then it hit her. 'Of course. Duality. It would have to have two parts to it. Human and fae, steady and changing.' Here she gestured at Shizuo and Izaya and then took a moment to clear the screen. 'Obvious.' Again she indicated Shizuo. 'And subtle,' with a gesture to Izaya. The smoking darkness shifted, indicating a sigh. The screen was cleared again. 'But I'm afraid I've lost too much to be able to decipher it on my own.'

“Mm,” the Lady said. “It’s well-known that you two don’t get along. But that would be expected. For a puck and a troll not to get along. Nobody would ever look any deeper than that . . .”

'But changelings left at the same time in the same place would find more in common with each other than with anyone else,’ Celty commented. ‘Even a puck and troll.'

The Lady nodded. “The inherent knowledge of being different, knowing that there’s a reason why they don’t fit in, would draw them together. Particularly in a case like this, where they’re the same age and were introduced when relatively young. I don’t suppose there was some sort of event I don’t know about?”

Izaya shrugged. “Nope. Shizu-chan hadn’t done anything besides lay eyes on me when he decided he was going to spend the rest of his life throwing heavy objects at my skull.”

Shizuo looked away a little. It was, for the most part, true. "You smell like trouble. Bad trouble. It grates." He turned back with a sharp look. "It's not like you tried to walk away."

“Hey, I don’t care,” Izaya said. “At the very same time, Shinra was introducing me as a horrible person. And he was my best friend. I never . . .” He frowned slightly. “I never thought it was weird that you hated me at first sight. It seemed to make perfect sense to me.”

'But that's not like Shizuo. I had always thought you had somehow started something,' Celty said. Thinking back, Shinra had never really given her the details.

“Thanks, Celty,” Izaya said, clearly amused. “Your faith in me is heartwarming.”

'You like to kick hornets’ nests to see what will happen, and Shizuo has a temper.'

“To be fair, I did pull a knife on him,” Izaya said. “But that was after he destroyed the table I was sitting on with one punch. Other than that, I was just my charming self, so who knows why he decided he didn’t like me?”

Shizuo made a frustrated noise. "I just told you why I didn’t like you," he said, clearly wondering why no one had been listening.

“You told me that I smelled bad,” Izaya snarked back. “So sorry; I guess they don’t make a cologne that covers up ‘likes to cause trouble’ well enough to protect your sensitive nose.”

"That's just like you. Cover a problem up. Hide things until you can use it to your advantage." Shizuo sounded as disgusted as he felt.

“At least I’ve never beaten the crap out anybody by accident,” Izaya snapped.

The mug in Shizuo's hand shattered. The stark and immediate proof that he could easily lose control didn't improve his mood. "At least it was an accident and I'm actually sorry about it. You ruin people for fun."

“Hey, I know what I’m good at. You’ve never kept a job longer than six weeks up until you got one threatening people and licking Tom’s boots, not even your precious bartending job - ”

"You ruined that. I was happy for once and you ruined it!" Shizuo was on his feet, though he didn't remember standing.

“Interesting,” the Lady murmured. “It’s very interesting, isn’t it, Celty dear?”

Celty was on her feet as well, a restraining hand pushing at Shizuo's shoulder and the PDA in Izaya's face. 'Shut it.' She didn't have time for polite with both of them spoiling for a fight. After a minute she was able to get Shizuo to sit down. 'Says the person who hasn't had to clean them both up afterwards.'

“A fascinating way of doing the compulsion,” the Lady continued, as if Celty hadn’t said anything to her. “Taking the animosity that would likely be present anyway and amplifying it. Quite economical; maximum yield with minimal effort. Subtle. Nobody would even notice it was there if they weren’t specifically looking. They would just assume it was because of their very different personalities. Even the two bound have never noticed anything unusual, despite the fact that they literally cannot sit in an apartment together for more than ten minutes without giving over to violence. A very clever thief indeed.”

“Hey, here’s a thought,” Izaya snapped at her. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so impressed with this guy in front of the two people he’s fucked over.”

Shizuo looked startled and it cut through the fit of temper enough for him to stop fighting Celty. He hadn't expected to be included in Izaya's assessment of who the injured party was.

'Can it be undone?' Celty asked, keeping a hand on Shizuo's shoulder though it was now a friendly gesture rather than a restraining one.

The Lady shrugged. “Anything is possible, but in this case . . . I’d say it’s likely that only the creator of the compulsion could break it.”

“Whatever,” Izaya said. “I don’t need to be buddies with Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo tried to stand and Celty kept him down. To Izaya, she said, 'Try to have some self preservation. You're injured.'

“It’s not my fault if he has no self-control,” Izaya said, smirking as he tucked his hands behind his head.

“We’re missing the answer to a vital question,” the Lady said thoughtfully, to all appearances oblivious to the fact that blood was about to be shed all over her apartment. “Why does the thief want them to hate each other?”

Celty tapped her finger, thinking, all the while keeping a metaphysical eye on the two men. 'So no one but him can get them into the same place for any length of time.'

“And no one can get them to agree on anything or work together,” the Lady said. She seemed pleased with herself. “An ingenious way of protecting his investment.”

'Yes, if entirely despicable.'

The Lady shrugged. She was obviously not impressed. “Ikebukuro is host to many despicable, unimaginable things every day. This is hardly the worst.”

'True. But it doesn't mean I have to tolerate it should I ever meet him.' A pause. 'But that is between me and him.'

“Fair enough, dear,” the Lady said. “But just a word of warning: should you seek him out, find him, kill him, or force him to break his compulsion . . . some things cannot be unlearned.” She gestured to where Shizuo and Izaya were sitting across from each other at the table, Shizuo’s fierce scowl and tense posture compared to Izaya’s lazy smirk and relaxed body designed solely to make the blonde even more angry. “These two are quite possibly a case in point.”

'I'll settle for ending it before it strips away what tolerance they do have for each other. Thin though it is.'

“True,” the Lady said cheerfully. “They rarely actually try to kill each other.”

'So far.' The Celty waved a hand as if waving the subject off. She might ask the Lady for help on the topic again, but not in front of Shizuo and Izaya. 'But it isn't something to worry about right now.'

“True again,” the Lady said. “You’re going to go find the Mask. Are you really sure you want to do that, dearie?”

'No, but it's the lesser evil.' Celty never wanted to have to be the master of that sort of power.

“Oh?” the Lady asked. “Perhaps your version of the legend is incomplete. The Mask, you see, is deadly to whoever wears it. Oh, they speak the truth. They see the Truth. They see the Universe. They see so much that they go stark raving mad. Not a soul who has worn it for more than a few minutes has ever survived.”

Izaya’s mouth sagged slightly. His half-formed plans of managing to take the Mask for his own uses took a rather dramatic turn in his head.

Celty wasn't exactly surprised. 'Does Ceallach know this?'

“Oh, yes, dearie, of course.” The Lady nodded, unperturbed as she sipped her tea. “Mortals fare better than fae, or ‘better’ in the sense that they’d be more useful to Ceallach. The fae who wear the Mercurial Mask go mad, and often either drop dead or end their own lives. But mortals? They just get taken over by the Mask. They’re a channel to the truth. They’re not really there anymore, not underneath. But they can last a good long while, if all you want are Answers.”

'Then I very definitely want it. Or at least I want to keep him from getting it.'

“Suit yourself,” the Lady said. “I’ve no opinion on the matter. ‘Even the very wise cannot see all ends.’ That’s a quote from something.”

“Gandalf,” Izaya supplied.

The Lady gave him a look. “I know that, infant.”

There was an odd noise from Celty's other side. Maybe a snort or a cough. Then after a moment it turned into a quiet but very real laugh. Shizuo had a hand over his mouth to muffle it, but it didn't work very well.

Izaya gave him a look. “You’re just as much of a baby as I am, you know,” he said.

"But I know when to keep my mouth shut." Shizuo might have been just the tiniest bit smug.

“I’m amazed you ever learned how to speak at all - ”

The Lady sighed. “Will you take the two of them out before they destroy my apartment? I rather like this place and don’t relish the thought of building another.”

'I can save the apartment, but I'm not so sure about the neighborhood.'

“Well. That, fortunately, is not my problem.” The Lady made shooing motions with her hands. “On your way, now.”

Celty stood and bowed then picked up her helmet and put it on. 'Thank you for your time and help.'

“Thanks, obaasan,” Izaya said, smirking as he rose.

Shizuo also rose and bowed. Celty grabbed Izaya's sleeve near the elbow and turned him towards the door before he could say anything else, then hustled the two of them out of the apartment with fairly equal prejudice. The Lady of the City waved merrily as they left, saying, “Give my regards to taichou!”

Celty nodded to show she had heard. The silence in the elevator was tense and before either Izaya or Shizuo could break it, she had her PDA out. 'We are going to leave this building like civilized adults.' There was a pause as she cleared the screen and continued on. 'You will continue to behave like adults until I am well out of sight. Understood?'

Izaya’s smirk became an actual grin and he saluted with his unwounded arm. “Understood.”

'Shizuo?'

Shizuo's knuckles creaked with tension, but he nodded. The silence remained all the way until they had gotten down to the street. Celty got on her bike and drove away, resolutely not looking behind herself no matter how great the temptation was.

Izaya looked at Shizuo and smirked. “Just remember that I’m injured,” he said, blew the blonde a kiss, and took off like a shot.

Shizuo let the flying street sign make his opinion on the matter clear.

~ ~ ~ ~