PART 3
Title: Ink and Bandaids (Pt 3)
Author: KL...that's moi
Genre: Crossover (TDK/Secretary)
Pairing: Joker/Lee
Rating: R
Warning: Disturbing situations, sensuality
Summary: Lee Holloway, an awkward, young sado-masochistic secretary, comes to Gotham after her divorce to live with her aunt. Will a certain painted man with knives, and an equal love for pain, help her reconnect with her freer side? (TDK/Secretary Crossover)
A/N - Yeesh, another slow update! Sorry about that! Anywhos, this chapter takes on a much darker turn, but it's still fairly light-hearted in the beginning. Someone was worried that Lee will give in and be like Harley, and I can full-heartedly assure you that she will NOT. I abhor Harley Quinn, so there'll be no Harley-esque, aka DOORMAT action in here! lol
CH 3: An Unpleasant Discovery
As I stared back at my reflection the next morning, I furrowed my brows and tried to figure out what was missing. Perhaps I should try lipstick for a change? The Joker seemed to enjoy it, after all...
"Well who cares what he likes?" I asked aloud, irritation coloring my voice as I frowned. I'd always dressed according to what Edward would approve of, and I wasn't about to make that same mistake twice. It wasn't like I was actually attracted to the Joker, but I knew I held a strange sort of fascination towards him.
Deciding that my appearance was good enough (the Joker was just a deformed clown, after all), I grabbed my things and headed out into the kitchen.
"Ah, well good morning, sunshine!" Aunt Martha greeted in her typical (irritating) fashion. "There are some cinnamon buns on the counter, and plenty of frosting, if you're hungry!"
"No, thanks" I mumbled, clutching my purse as I impatiently glanced up at the clock. "Can't you just take me to work now?"
"Oh, is it that time, already?" she asked, following my gaze before rising from her seat. As she grabbed her keys, she grinned while chirping, "As we drive, we can bond and have some nice girl talk!"
Great. Can't wait for that natural born disaster.
--
As it turns out, Aunt Martha and I didn't have a girl talk at all, unless you'd consider bunions a nice topic of conversation. Eager to get out of the car, I left my Aunt Martha to her woes and eagerly tromped up the stairs to my new place of employment. This time when I went inside, the lights were on and there weren't any nervous, creepy little men sitting behind tables. So far so good.
There came the sound of soft, slightly off-key humming as I stood there, my brows furrowing in confusion until the Joker made his grand appearance. For a second he gave me a funny look, then nodded to himself as if he'd just remembered something very important. "Ah, right, right, right" he muttered. "I, uh...kind of forgot that I'd hired you, but no matter. Come with me, beautiful."
With a bright smile on my face, I followed closely behind before realizing that I'd never even given him my name. Didn't he want it?
Before I could even think to ask him, the Joker showed me to a small, dimly lit room that smelled suspiciously of pickles. "Welp, this is it" he announced, moving his arm in a half-hearted sweep. "All your supplies are in that back cabinet, the phone and type writer are on the desk, and yadda yadda yadda. If someone named Ratner calls, I'm not here. If the ceiling starts leaking or the AC shuts off, you're out of luck. Aaaaand if you see any rats, don't freak out and try to call for help, because they attack based on your fear."
Wondering if he was merely joking, I decided to just nod and agree as he reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "This is your first assignment" he explained.
When I took the parchment from his hand, I gave him a disbelieving look while declaring, "I-it's a grocery list."
"Ooh-hoo, and they say Gothamite women are dumb! Good for you, sugar pop, you just passed my analytical test!" the Joker mocked, a sneer tugging at his lips as he relished in my confusion. "I think the items are pretty self-explanatory, so get to work. Even psychotic, killer clowns need to eat, after all."
I pouted. "But aren't you coming with me?"
"What do I look like, a chick or something? Get moving!" the Joker barked, thus causing me to scowl as I turned and headed back toward the entrance. It wasn't that I didn't like getting ordered around (in fact, I absolutely loved it), but since Gotham was such a strange and unfamiliar place to me, I was hoping that the Joker would at least accompany me to the convenient store. I'd always been taught that a woman shouldn't walk alone in the city, after all, so now that I was out doing that exact thing, I couldn't help but feel a distinct sense of unease flood through my veins.
'Keep your head down and avoid all eye contact' I inwardly instructed myself, my shoulders hunching over as I discreetly raised my gaze to see where I was. So far I was the only one out on foot, so I felt a tad better as I continued to search for the convenient store. Gotham was a huge place, so I figured there had to be tons of little food stops to choose from.
I suddenly paused. What if the Joker had a particular place he preferred above all the others? Scowling, I berated myself for not having thought of this sooner, but that's when I suddenly noticed the 7-11 up ahead. Everyone was familiar with 7-11, so surely I couldn't go wrong there!
With a renewed bounce to my step, I smiled slightly as I envisioned the praise I'd receive for not only getting the desired objects, but for also making it back to the office in record timing. The Joker didn't exactly seem like a praise-giving man, but perhaps I could be the one to change that?
Smiling at my school girl-like musings, I pushed open the door to the 7-11 before finally glancing down at the list. Duct tape? Green and purple M&M's? Five cans of silly string? This seemed more like the grocery list of a two-year-old, not to mention that the 7-11 didn't even have any of these things!
Completely discouraged, I was about to turn and leave when the man behind the counter suddenly apprehended me. "Can I get you something, pretty lady?"
Flattered by his compliment (and completely loving his French accent), I gave a silly little giggle while showing him my grocery list.
Taking his glasses from his shirt pocket, he placed them over his eyes before mumbling the list aloud. Finally shaking his head, he apologized in perfect English, "Sorry, but we do not serve these things here. Perhaps I could interest you in the items actually on our shelves?"
Pursing my lips, I hesitantly shook my head. "My boss is very particular, sir, so I'm afraid I'll get in a lot of trouble if I don't bring these things back. Are you sure you can't give me a bag of green and purple M&M's at the very least?"
"Sorry, but we do not sell green and purple M&M's...the only time we have purple is Easter, so come back then."
I groaned loudly. "But it's only July! At this rate I'll be fired within the week..."
Appearing to pity me, the clerk finally agreed, "I tell you what, pretty lady; instead of M&M's, you give him cookies and milk, yes?"
I gave him a bewildered look. "Cookies and milk? Well...I guess that could work, but he'll probably be very angry when I come back with those instead of M&M's."
"Ah, well why didn't you say so? He'll want Pez!" the clerk chirped, now placing a toy with Batman's head onto the counter. Noting my skepticism, he cheerily added, "Everyone loves Pez! It'll cheer your boss up in no time!" Adding cookies and a pint of milk to the bizarre 'gift', he tallied up the items before giving me my total. After paying for the goods, I quickly made my way back to the office so I could still at least be on time. I may've failed the Joker with the grocery list, but I was damn well going to be punctual.
"Hello?" I called, practically out of breath once I entered the building. "Mr. Joker, I have your stuff!"
"Back here" came a disinterested voice, my brows furrowing as I made my way toward some sort of back room. The Joker was hunched over what looked like a bunch of blueprints, his hand holding a pair of spectacles over his eyes as he squinted at the fine, fine print.
Eager to please him -- or at least to get him to acknowledge me -- I took the cookies and milk and cheerily placed them onto his desk. Noticing the perplexed look on his face, I quickly explained, "Oh, um...they're cookies and milk."
"I know what they are" the Joker snapped, his eyes narrowing as he lowered his spectacles. "What I truly want to know is what they're doing here. I didn't ask you to steal Kris Kringle's lunch, so take this garbage back and get me what I asked for."
Biting my lip, I remembered what the store clerk said and immediately placed the Pez onto the table. "I got you this, too" I feebly spoke up.
Appearing more perplexed than ever, the Joker leaned forward and poked the Batman dispenser, his lips curling back in disgust a he demanded, "And what am I supposed to do with this thing, hmm? It doesn't even fight back!"
"Oh...well you're supposed to eat it, sir" I returned, feeling my chances at praise plummeting at a rapid pace. "You press on the head, and then little candies come out."
The Joker gave a snarl. "I know what it does, Miss Has-An-Answer-for-Everything! What I asked is what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Last time I checked, criminal masterminds don't eat candy when it comes from their arch rival's mouth!"
"Arch rival?" Looking at the Batman dispenser in confusion, I suddenly put two and two together as I gazed back at the Joker in wonder. So he hadn't been kidding when he called himself a criminal mastermind? I knew there was something different about him, but I just figured it was like the dark tendril inside Edward. This man, on the other hand, rest-assuredly had a tendril from the 7th circle of Hell.
Still a little breathless from my discovery, I anxiously rubbed my arm as I asked, "Um...if you don't mind my asking, sir, what exactly does a 'criminal mastermind' do?"
Upon hearing my question, the Joker's lips curled back into a dark, self-satisfied little grin, his eyes rolling toward me as he purred, "Well I'm so glad you asked, peaches -- c'mere and I'll show you something."
A little nervous as I followed him -- he'd already proven to be incredibly unpredictable, after all -- the Joker led me towards a cabinet before opening it in order to reveal a small, standard color TV.
Upon noting my questioning look, the Joker smugly explained, "After you left work yesterday, I broadcasted my first debut in years. I'm tired of planning new ways to get back at the Bat, so I decided to just throw all caution to the wind and return to my roots." Turning the TV on, he inserted a VHS tape while fiddling with the controls, my breath catching in my throat when the image of a young, terrified little boy flickered across the screen. He was gagged and severely beaten, his left eye completely swollen shut and his lips chapped and bleeding.
There came the sound of a giggle, which was followed by a violent blur of color as the camera whipped toward the source of the noise. The Joker's broad, nefarious grin filled the screen as he gave a mocking wave, his voice nauseatingly chipper as he exclaimed, "Guuuuh-ree-tings, ladies and gentlegerms of Gotham! Tonight I have an oh-so-special little treat for you, so if you could kindly stop watching America's Next Top Model for one teensy-weensy little second, I'll introduce you to my latest guest of honor!" Turning the camera toward the now sobbing boy, the Joker giggled before cooing, "Aww, shh-shh-shh, no one likes a crybaby, kid! Do ya wanna embarrass your folks?"
Holding my breath, I cringed as the boy cried even harder, the Joker giving a whoop while mocking, "You kids these days are just too soft for your own good! I didn't know you'd raised such a sissy, Co-mmissioner!" Bringing the camera back around to focus on himself, the Joker sneered while announcing, "Thaaaat's right, ladies and gents. I've got with me none other than Co-mmissioner James Gordon's little brat. He's such a screamer, too...he hardly has any fight in him at all!" Belting the kid soundly across the face, he shrieked with laughter while exclaiming, "See? See!? It's pa-thet-tic. This just goes to show you that parents aren't pre-paring their brats for the real world, anymore. I mean, uh...my old man didn't hesitate to let me know how things truly are." Brushing his finger across his scars with a smirk, the Joker licked his lips while sustaining, "Anywhos, the rules for my game are ex-cee-dingly simple: if Gordilocks broadcasts the Bat's true identity within the next twenty-four hours, I'll let the kid go. However, if anyone other than the true Batbreath is named, I'll kill the snot-nosed brat anyway. Simple? I thought so, too."
With that, the screen went black after showing the poor child's face one last time, my lips trembling as I turned to regard the Joker with wide, fearful eyes. "Y-you're a terrorist" I choked out. "How could you do something so heartless? Where's the boy now?!"
"Ooh-hoo, one question at a time, please!" the Joker urged, grinning as he held his hands up in surrender. "In answer to your first concern, I buh-lieve that 'terrorist' is too strong of a word. I pre-fer to think of myself as 'Gotham's Little Helper'."
"But the boy" I desperately insisted, "is he alright?"
The Joker rolled his eyes. "Look honey bear, if he wasn't alright, I would've told you to go mop the blood up off the floor. Gordy and his pigs haven't de-livered Batpoop's name yet, but I know how their minds work. They're hopelessly weak, so they'll break down very, very soon."
"A-and what if they don't?"
The Joker sneered. "Well, isn't it obvious, honey bunch? If they don't, I'll kill the brat and mount his little snot-nosed head on my wall!"
"You're a monster!" I declared, shocked once I realized what I'd just said. I'd never, ever gone this far with an employer before (and a dangerous one at that), so I couldn't help but feel a coil of fear wrap around my throat like a noose. To my surprise, instead of striking me or cutting me to ribbons like I expected, the Joker threw his head back in a delighted laugh, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he reiterated, "A monster? Oh no, no, no, sugar pop, the true monster is the man who's making this city weak in the first place. Ever since Battycakes came to town, everyone's just given up and decided to be the damsel in distress. Nobody ever fights for themselves anymore, and do you know why?"
I anxiously shook my head.
Seeming to have expected this negative response, the Joker sneered while sustaining, "No one feels the need to protect themselves anymore, because they have a dark knight...a guardian angel. After all, why bother doing the dirty work when someone else will do it for you? By discovering the Batman's true identity, I'm hoping to prove a point to these pitiful street urchins. Without their grand savior they fall from grace, but on the flip side of things, if Batsy is still out there ridding the streets of scum, the people will still fall because of their inherent weakness. See what I'm getting at here, peaches?"
Even though I thought he was more insane than ever, I nodded so that the Joker wouldn't be any angrier with me than he already was. As I did so, however, an eerie glint came to his eyes as a dark, nefarious grin curled across his lips. "Well what's the matter, sugar lump? You look as if you've seen a ghost!" Now withdrawing the blade I both feared and longed for, the Joker came toward me while smoothly purring, "Are you per-haps a-fraaaaid, beautiful? Do you now fear me like all the other ingrates of this city?"
Swallowing, I moved to speak just when his arm coiled around my neck, a soft gasp escaping my lips as I felt myself being pulled roughly against his chest. In an instant, his blade flicked dangerously close to my jugular, my hands grasping at his arm as I fought to keep the knife at bay.
Now petting my hair in an almost reverent fashion, the Joker thoughtfully observed, "Y'know something, you remind me of someone I once met...she had a lot of spirit too, but do you know what happened to her?" I shivered but said nothing, the clown prince's lips now at my ear as he hissed, "I killed her, that's what, so tell me this, honey bunch: is saving mankind really worth your own life? Are you truly willing to risk everything for one small, pathetic little boy?"
"I-I don't know..."
Seeming to relish in my fear, the Joker gave a murmur of approval as he pressed his face against the nape of my neck, his gloved hand moving intimately along my front as his tongue slid across my ear. Repulsed by his actions, I turned to pull away from his touch, but he promptly yanked me back against his chest. How could this man have ever aroused me? He was nothing but a cruel, sadistic monster hellbent on destroying an innocent city!
"Do you puh-lan on warning Gordy where we are?" the Joker suddenly asked, his blade almost teasingly sliding across my lips. "Because if so, I can go ahead and cut your pretty little tongue out right now."
I swallowed. "Um...I-I honestly hadn't thought about it."
"Gooood" the Joker cooed, "and you'll never get the chance to, either."
Confused by his ominous words, I moved to ask him what he meant when I suddenly felt him pinch my jugular, my world spinning as I collapsed into his arms and painted out in a sea of black.
A/N - Blarrrrgh! Not sure when J and Lee will have their first little "intimate" moment, but it'll probably be within the next couple chapters or so. I know it seems like it'll be hard to have them come together (no pun intended...maybe xD), but I have my ways. ;) Hope this wasn't a complete piece of you-know-what!
Author: KL...that's moi
Genre: Crossover (TDK/Secretary)
Pairing: Joker/Lee
Rating: R
Warning: Disturbing situations, sensuality
Summary: Lee Holloway, an awkward, young sado-masochistic secretary, comes to Gotham after her divorce to live with her aunt. Will a certain painted man with knives, and an equal love for pain, help her reconnect with her freer side? (TDK/Secretary Crossover)
A/N - Yeesh, another slow update! Sorry about that! Anywhos, this chapter takes on a much darker turn, but it's still fairly light-hearted in the beginning. Someone was worried that Lee will give in and be like Harley, and I can full-heartedly assure you that she will NOT. I abhor Harley Quinn, so there'll be no Harley-esque, aka DOORMAT action in here! lol
CH 3: An Unpleasant Discovery
As I stared back at my reflection the next morning, I furrowed my brows and tried to figure out what was missing. Perhaps I should try lipstick for a change? The Joker seemed to enjoy it, after all...
"Well who cares what he likes?" I asked aloud, irritation coloring my voice as I frowned. I'd always dressed according to what Edward would approve of, and I wasn't about to make that same mistake twice. It wasn't like I was actually attracted to the Joker, but I knew I held a strange sort of fascination towards him.
Deciding that my appearance was good enough (the Joker was just a deformed clown, after all), I grabbed my things and headed out into the kitchen.
"Ah, well good morning, sunshine!" Aunt Martha greeted in her typical (irritating) fashion. "There are some cinnamon buns on the counter, and plenty of frosting, if you're hungry!"
"No, thanks" I mumbled, clutching my purse as I impatiently glanced up at the clock. "Can't you just take me to work now?"
"Oh, is it that time, already?" she asked, following my gaze before rising from her seat. As she grabbed her keys, she grinned while chirping, "As we drive, we can bond and have some nice girl talk!"
Great. Can't wait for that natural born disaster.
--
As it turns out, Aunt Martha and I didn't have a girl talk at all, unless you'd consider bunions a nice topic of conversation. Eager to get out of the car, I left my Aunt Martha to her woes and eagerly tromped up the stairs to my new place of employment. This time when I went inside, the lights were on and there weren't any nervous, creepy little men sitting behind tables. So far so good.
There came the sound of soft, slightly off-key humming as I stood there, my brows furrowing in confusion until the Joker made his grand appearance. For a second he gave me a funny look, then nodded to himself as if he'd just remembered something very important. "Ah, right, right, right" he muttered. "I, uh...kind of forgot that I'd hired you, but no matter. Come with me, beautiful."
With a bright smile on my face, I followed closely behind before realizing that I'd never even given him my name. Didn't he want it?
Before I could even think to ask him, the Joker showed me to a small, dimly lit room that smelled suspiciously of pickles. "Welp, this is it" he announced, moving his arm in a half-hearted sweep. "All your supplies are in that back cabinet, the phone and type writer are on the desk, and yadda yadda yadda. If someone named Ratner calls, I'm not here. If the ceiling starts leaking or the AC shuts off, you're out of luck. Aaaaand if you see any rats, don't freak out and try to call for help, because they attack based on your fear."
Wondering if he was merely joking, I decided to just nod and agree as he reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "This is your first assignment" he explained.
When I took the parchment from his hand, I gave him a disbelieving look while declaring, "I-it's a grocery list."
"Ooh-hoo, and they say Gothamite women are dumb! Good for you, sugar pop, you just passed my analytical test!" the Joker mocked, a sneer tugging at his lips as he relished in my confusion. "I think the items are pretty self-explanatory, so get to work. Even psychotic, killer clowns need to eat, after all."
I pouted. "But aren't you coming with me?"
"What do I look like, a chick or something? Get moving!" the Joker barked, thus causing me to scowl as I turned and headed back toward the entrance. It wasn't that I didn't like getting ordered around (in fact, I absolutely loved it), but since Gotham was such a strange and unfamiliar place to me, I was hoping that the Joker would at least accompany me to the convenient store. I'd always been taught that a woman shouldn't walk alone in the city, after all, so now that I was out doing that exact thing, I couldn't help but feel a distinct sense of unease flood through my veins.
'Keep your head down and avoid all eye contact' I inwardly instructed myself, my shoulders hunching over as I discreetly raised my gaze to see where I was. So far I was the only one out on foot, so I felt a tad better as I continued to search for the convenient store. Gotham was a huge place, so I figured there had to be tons of little food stops to choose from.
I suddenly paused. What if the Joker had a particular place he preferred above all the others? Scowling, I berated myself for not having thought of this sooner, but that's when I suddenly noticed the 7-11 up ahead. Everyone was familiar with 7-11, so surely I couldn't go wrong there!
With a renewed bounce to my step, I smiled slightly as I envisioned the praise I'd receive for not only getting the desired objects, but for also making it back to the office in record timing. The Joker didn't exactly seem like a praise-giving man, but perhaps I could be the one to change that?
Smiling at my school girl-like musings, I pushed open the door to the 7-11 before finally glancing down at the list. Duct tape? Green and purple M&M's? Five cans of silly string? This seemed more like the grocery list of a two-year-old, not to mention that the 7-11 didn't even have any of these things!
Completely discouraged, I was about to turn and leave when the man behind the counter suddenly apprehended me. "Can I get you something, pretty lady?"
Flattered by his compliment (and completely loving his French accent), I gave a silly little giggle while showing him my grocery list.
Taking his glasses from his shirt pocket, he placed them over his eyes before mumbling the list aloud. Finally shaking his head, he apologized in perfect English, "Sorry, but we do not serve these things here. Perhaps I could interest you in the items actually on our shelves?"
Pursing my lips, I hesitantly shook my head. "My boss is very particular, sir, so I'm afraid I'll get in a lot of trouble if I don't bring these things back. Are you sure you can't give me a bag of green and purple M&M's at the very least?"
"Sorry, but we do not sell green and purple M&M's...the only time we have purple is Easter, so come back then."
I groaned loudly. "But it's only July! At this rate I'll be fired within the week..."
Appearing to pity me, the clerk finally agreed, "I tell you what, pretty lady; instead of M&M's, you give him cookies and milk, yes?"
I gave him a bewildered look. "Cookies and milk? Well...I guess that could work, but he'll probably be very angry when I come back with those instead of M&M's."
"Ah, well why didn't you say so? He'll want Pez!" the clerk chirped, now placing a toy with Batman's head onto the counter. Noting my skepticism, he cheerily added, "Everyone loves Pez! It'll cheer your boss up in no time!" Adding cookies and a pint of milk to the bizarre 'gift', he tallied up the items before giving me my total. After paying for the goods, I quickly made my way back to the office so I could still at least be on time. I may've failed the Joker with the grocery list, but I was damn well going to be punctual.
"Hello?" I called, practically out of breath once I entered the building. "Mr. Joker, I have your stuff!"
"Back here" came a disinterested voice, my brows furrowing as I made my way toward some sort of back room. The Joker was hunched over what looked like a bunch of blueprints, his hand holding a pair of spectacles over his eyes as he squinted at the fine, fine print.
Eager to please him -- or at least to get him to acknowledge me -- I took the cookies and milk and cheerily placed them onto his desk. Noticing the perplexed look on his face, I quickly explained, "Oh, um...they're cookies and milk."
"I know what they are" the Joker snapped, his eyes narrowing as he lowered his spectacles. "What I truly want to know is what they're doing here. I didn't ask you to steal Kris Kringle's lunch, so take this garbage back and get me what I asked for."
Biting my lip, I remembered what the store clerk said and immediately placed the Pez onto the table. "I got you this, too" I feebly spoke up.
Appearing more perplexed than ever, the Joker leaned forward and poked the Batman dispenser, his lips curling back in disgust a he demanded, "And what am I supposed to do with this thing, hmm? It doesn't even fight back!"
"Oh...well you're supposed to eat it, sir" I returned, feeling my chances at praise plummeting at a rapid pace. "You press on the head, and then little candies come out."
The Joker gave a snarl. "I know what it does, Miss Has-An-Answer-for-Everything! What I asked is what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Last time I checked, criminal masterminds don't eat candy when it comes from their arch rival's mouth!"
"Arch rival?" Looking at the Batman dispenser in confusion, I suddenly put two and two together as I gazed back at the Joker in wonder. So he hadn't been kidding when he called himself a criminal mastermind? I knew there was something different about him, but I just figured it was like the dark tendril inside Edward. This man, on the other hand, rest-assuredly had a tendril from the 7th circle of Hell.
Still a little breathless from my discovery, I anxiously rubbed my arm as I asked, "Um...if you don't mind my asking, sir, what exactly does a 'criminal mastermind' do?"
Upon hearing my question, the Joker's lips curled back into a dark, self-satisfied little grin, his eyes rolling toward me as he purred, "Well I'm so glad you asked, peaches -- c'mere and I'll show you something."
A little nervous as I followed him -- he'd already proven to be incredibly unpredictable, after all -- the Joker led me towards a cabinet before opening it in order to reveal a small, standard color TV.
Upon noting my questioning look, the Joker smugly explained, "After you left work yesterday, I broadcasted my first debut in years. I'm tired of planning new ways to get back at the Bat, so I decided to just throw all caution to the wind and return to my roots." Turning the TV on, he inserted a VHS tape while fiddling with the controls, my breath catching in my throat when the image of a young, terrified little boy flickered across the screen. He was gagged and severely beaten, his left eye completely swollen shut and his lips chapped and bleeding.
There came the sound of a giggle, which was followed by a violent blur of color as the camera whipped toward the source of the noise. The Joker's broad, nefarious grin filled the screen as he gave a mocking wave, his voice nauseatingly chipper as he exclaimed, "Guuuuh-ree-tings, ladies and gentlegerms of Gotham! Tonight I have an oh-so-special little treat for you, so if you could kindly stop watching America's Next Top Model for one teensy-weensy little second, I'll introduce you to my latest guest of honor!" Turning the camera toward the now sobbing boy, the Joker giggled before cooing, "Aww, shh-shh-shh, no one likes a crybaby, kid! Do ya wanna embarrass your folks?"
Holding my breath, I cringed as the boy cried even harder, the Joker giving a whoop while mocking, "You kids these days are just too soft for your own good! I didn't know you'd raised such a sissy, Co-mmissioner!" Bringing the camera back around to focus on himself, the Joker sneered while announcing, "Thaaaat's right, ladies and gents. I've got with me none other than Co-mmissioner James Gordon's little brat. He's such a screamer, too...he hardly has any fight in him at all!" Belting the kid soundly across the face, he shrieked with laughter while exclaiming, "See? See!? It's pa-thet-tic. This just goes to show you that parents aren't pre-paring their brats for the real world, anymore. I mean, uh...my old man didn't hesitate to let me know how things truly are." Brushing his finger across his scars with a smirk, the Joker licked his lips while sustaining, "Anywhos, the rules for my game are ex-cee-dingly simple: if Gordilocks broadcasts the Bat's true identity within the next twenty-four hours, I'll let the kid go. However, if anyone other than the true Batbreath is named, I'll kill the snot-nosed brat anyway. Simple? I thought so, too."
With that, the screen went black after showing the poor child's face one last time, my lips trembling as I turned to regard the Joker with wide, fearful eyes. "Y-you're a terrorist" I choked out. "How could you do something so heartless? Where's the boy now?!"
"Ooh-hoo, one question at a time, please!" the Joker urged, grinning as he held his hands up in surrender. "In answer to your first concern, I buh-lieve that 'terrorist' is too strong of a word. I pre-fer to think of myself as 'Gotham's Little Helper'."
"But the boy" I desperately insisted, "is he alright?"
The Joker rolled his eyes. "Look honey bear, if he wasn't alright, I would've told you to go mop the blood up off the floor. Gordy and his pigs haven't de-livered Batpoop's name yet, but I know how their minds work. They're hopelessly weak, so they'll break down very, very soon."
"A-and what if they don't?"
The Joker sneered. "Well, isn't it obvious, honey bunch? If they don't, I'll kill the brat and mount his little snot-nosed head on my wall!"
"You're a monster!" I declared, shocked once I realized what I'd just said. I'd never, ever gone this far with an employer before (and a dangerous one at that), so I couldn't help but feel a coil of fear wrap around my throat like a noose. To my surprise, instead of striking me or cutting me to ribbons like I expected, the Joker threw his head back in a delighted laugh, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he reiterated, "A monster? Oh no, no, no, sugar pop, the true monster is the man who's making this city weak in the first place. Ever since Battycakes came to town, everyone's just given up and decided to be the damsel in distress. Nobody ever fights for themselves anymore, and do you know why?"
I anxiously shook my head.
Seeming to have expected this negative response, the Joker sneered while sustaining, "No one feels the need to protect themselves anymore, because they have a dark knight...a guardian angel. After all, why bother doing the dirty work when someone else will do it for you? By discovering the Batman's true identity, I'm hoping to prove a point to these pitiful street urchins. Without their grand savior they fall from grace, but on the flip side of things, if Batsy is still out there ridding the streets of scum, the people will still fall because of their inherent weakness. See what I'm getting at here, peaches?"
Even though I thought he was more insane than ever, I nodded so that the Joker wouldn't be any angrier with me than he already was. As I did so, however, an eerie glint came to his eyes as a dark, nefarious grin curled across his lips. "Well what's the matter, sugar lump? You look as if you've seen a ghost!" Now withdrawing the blade I both feared and longed for, the Joker came toward me while smoothly purring, "Are you per-haps a-fraaaaid, beautiful? Do you now fear me like all the other ingrates of this city?"
Swallowing, I moved to speak just when his arm coiled around my neck, a soft gasp escaping my lips as I felt myself being pulled roughly against his chest. In an instant, his blade flicked dangerously close to my jugular, my hands grasping at his arm as I fought to keep the knife at bay.
Now petting my hair in an almost reverent fashion, the Joker thoughtfully observed, "Y'know something, you remind me of someone I once met...she had a lot of spirit too, but do you know what happened to her?" I shivered but said nothing, the clown prince's lips now at my ear as he hissed, "I killed her, that's what, so tell me this, honey bunch: is saving mankind really worth your own life? Are you truly willing to risk everything for one small, pathetic little boy?"
"I-I don't know..."
Seeming to relish in my fear, the Joker gave a murmur of approval as he pressed his face against the nape of my neck, his gloved hand moving intimately along my front as his tongue slid across my ear. Repulsed by his actions, I turned to pull away from his touch, but he promptly yanked me back against his chest. How could this man have ever aroused me? He was nothing but a cruel, sadistic monster hellbent on destroying an innocent city!
"Do you puh-lan on warning Gordy where we are?" the Joker suddenly asked, his blade almost teasingly sliding across my lips. "Because if so, I can go ahead and cut your pretty little tongue out right now."
I swallowed. "Um...I-I honestly hadn't thought about it."
"Gooood" the Joker cooed, "and you'll never get the chance to, either."
Confused by his ominous words, I moved to ask him what he meant when I suddenly felt him pinch my jugular, my world spinning as I collapsed into his arms and painted out in a sea of black.
A/N - Blarrrrgh! Not sure when J and Lee will have their first little "intimate" moment, but it'll probably be within the next couple chapters or so. I know it seems like it'll be hard to have them come together (no pun intended...maybe xD), but I have my ways. ;) Hope this wasn't a complete piece of you-know-what!