Primeval fic: Endings and Beginnings (5/6)
Title: Endings and Beginnings (5/6)
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~2440 in this part (~21500 words in total).
Characters: James Lester, Abby Maitland, Moira (OC), David 'Ditzy' Owen (OC), Connor Temple.
Pairings: James Lester/Abby Maitland, James Lester/David 'Ditzy' Owen, Tom Ryan/Connor Temple (implied).
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
Warning (for all parts): Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Het, Slash.
A/N: Thanks to the wonderful Fred for the beta. Part 4 Part 6.
Lester sat on the settee in their front room with one of Moira's exercise books in his hands. He sighed as he glanced over at the clock and rubbed his tired eyes. He'd already spent over half an hour on this one question and he was still no nearer to solving it than when he had started it.
He sighed. I should have finished this entire puzzle by now. I used to be able to complete ones much harder than this in a few minutes. Bugger it, I'm never going to get better. Lester scrubbed at his eyes as he blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. No. No self-pity. You're bloody lucky and you know it. It could have been worse. Far worse. Be grateful for what you have.
Lester closed his eyes for a moment as he sought to calm down, to focus. Turning back to the question that was succeeding in flummoxing him, Lester tried to think of the word he was looking for. A few moments later he gave a sob of frustration as he threw the book across the room. I fucking know it!
“James?”
He looked up to see Ditzy standing in the doorway with Lester's book in his hand. Lester ducked his head as he realised he'd almost hit Ditzy with it. “Oh. Sorry. I...” Lester's voice dropped to a near whisper as he admitted, “I got frustrated.”
“You've got to control your anger, James. This time you missed me, next time...”
Lester nodded. “I know. I... it's just so frustrating not knowing the right words.” He sighed. “I spent all my working life using words and now I can't even string a simple sentence together.”
“I'd say that sentence was fine.” Ditzy raised a placating hand when Lester glared at him. “Sorry, love. I shouldn't have said that.”
“No, it's true. Unless I try and name someone or something, I'm fine.” Lester sighed, “I suppose that's what makes it so frustrating, I can say everything else except those words.”
Ditzy glanced at his catch as he walked over to join Lester on the settee. He leaned over to kiss Lester on the lips before he showed Lester the book. “How about I read with you?”
Lester took the opportunity to snuggle up against the man he thought of as his lover. Oh, we might not have actually made love yet, but that's a minor point, and one I hope to change as soon as I can convince... fuck my memory, I can convince... fine, warm heart that I'm better. But for now... Lester gave a reluctant nod, the more I practise, the better I'll get. I hope. He opened the book and stared hard at the words as he tried to figure out what they were. I have to get better, I have to. I just have to.
Lester didn't realise he was shaking until Ditzy squeezed his arm and took the book from him. “How about we try some of those exercises that Moira suggested instead?”
Lester nodded. I might as well, I'm not getting anywhere with the bloody book.
“Ready? What about... hmm. I know. What are these - tiger, giraffe and lion?”
Lester racked his mind, tiger, giraffe and lion. Come on. It's... it's... He only realised that he was gnawing on his lower lip as he concentrated when Ditzy nudged his arm and held his hand instead. “Um... I know it... word, what's the word?”
“Do you want a clue?”
I suppose so, its not like I'm going to get it by myself, is it? Lester gave another reluctant nod.
“An.”
An? An bloody what? Come on, think. Think. After a few minutes, Lester shook his head and murmured sadly, “I can't remember.”
Ditzy pulled Lester against him and kissed his hair. “It's OK, James. Let me give you another clue. Ani.”
I know! I actually know this one. Lester cried out, “Animal.” He had a wide grin on his face as he twisted around and grabbed Ditzy for a hard kiss. He was almost bouncing in excitement as he asked, “Can we try another?”
Ditzy grinned. “If you celebrate like that.” He looked around the room for inspiration. “Chair, table and settee.”
Um. Chair, table and settee. I know it, it's... it's... gone. “Um... I know it, but I can't think of the word.” Lester took a deep breath as he tried to relax as he'd been taught as he searched his memory for the missing word. Opening his eyes, he shook his head at Ditzy. “Can I have a clue, please?”
“Of course you can, love. Fur.”
Fur? “Some animals have fur.” Great, where'd that come from?
Ditzy's lips quirk, “They do, but that's not the answer I'm looking for. Do you want to try again?”
Of course I bloody do. Lester nodded, “Fur? Chair, table and settee are Fur ... fur.” I can't think, it's gone, just... He shook his head again, “I can feel it just out of reach.”
“Furniture.”
“Furniture. Furniture. Furniture.” Get in there. Chair, table and settee are furniture. Lester looked up at Ditzy beseechingly, “Can I try again? Just one more. Please?”
Ditzy smiled at him, “Anything. OK. Er. How about ... banana, apple and pear?”
Great! I know this one. Lester grinned as he answered, “Fruit.” At Ditzy's raised eyebrow, he added sheepishly, “Did that one in the...” He closed his eyes in thought. “Hospital?”
“With Moira?” Ditzy snorted. “Considering the amount of fruit you got, I'm not surprised you can remember that one.” He pulled Lester in for a quick peck on the cheek, “Well done, love.”
*****
Lester smiled as he stood at the hob and stirred the chilli con carne. This is going well. The first meal I've cooked all by myself, since... the incident.
“That smells lovely, James.” Abby's voice made Lester jump as she spoke behind him. Arms wrapped around him as she added, “Sorry. I didn't mean to make you jump.”
Lester looked at his meal. Hmm, can I leave this for a moment? Yes, I think so. He turned around and kissed Abby. “I hope you'll like it.”
“I'm sure David and I will love it.”
I hope so. “Good, it's taken me long enough.”
Ditzy chipped in, “That's because you won't let me help you read the recipe.”
Abby pulled back slightly and gave Lester a critical look. “I trust you haven't been overdoing it.”
As if either of you would let me. He shook his head. “No. Um.” Lester sighed as the name still escaped him, “Warm heart made me rest before I started cooking it.” He pulled his two lovers against him for a kiss. “I wanted to cook for you. You've both done so much for me.”
Abby had a soft smile on her face as she reached up to brush Lester's hair from his face, “You're worth it, James.”
*****
Connor leaned back on the settee and grinned at Lester. “OK, James?”
Lester had his arms folded as he glared at his unwanted visitor, “I don't need someone to watch me.”
“Hey. I didn't deliberately break my leg just to keep you company, you know.” Connor winced as he tried to shift his leg into a more comfortable position. “I just thought you'd like some company now Abby and David have gone back to work...” He looked up. “Oh, you convinced them to go back. You wanted to be alone. I'm sorry, James, I just thought you'd be lonely by yourself.” His voice little more than a whisper, “I know I am, being stuck in the house all day without Ryan.”
Lester sighed. “I suppose we could keep each other company.”
Connor grinned. “What do you want to do? I've got some DVDs?”
“Future films?”
“Sci-fi? Um. Yes.”
Lester's lips quirked at the look on Connor's face. “Maybe later.” He reached under the table and pulled a box out.
Connor smiled, “OK. Scrabble. I can do Scrabble.”
Lester's voice was soft and almost pleading as he asked, “And then you could help me with the names of the people I should know?”
Connor glanced up at Lester and his smile faded as his expression became serious. “Yes. I'll help you with people's names, James. Any time you want. I promise.”
*****
Lester sorted through his name cards on the coffee table as he tried to remember everything the no-longer irritating one... Con... Connor had helped him learn.
He's spent so much time with me. He's been so patient with my impatience, with my frustration and ... I might as well admit it, with my bloody temper tantrums. Going over and over words with me until I could get them correct. No-longer. Lester shook his head. Name, use his name. Um. Connor? Yes, Connor hadn't had to do that, he could have stayed at home watching his films. For once, Lester found himself glad of Connor's accident-proneness, the young man breaking his leg had been a boon to Lester's recovery ... not that he would have wished a broken leg on anyone. Not even if it had helped him learn his words. Now, if only he could remember and work out which name belonged to which individual.
He glanced up as Ditzy sat down opposite him and asked, “Which one is Abby?”
Looking intently at his cards, Lester frowned as he concentrated. Abby. Which one of you is Abby? I think it's that one, I think. I hope I'm right. Finally pointing at the card he thought was correct, Lester looked up at Ditzy with hope in his heart.
Lester breathed a sigh of relief when Ditzy nodded. “That's right. How about, Nick?”
“Annoying and often wrong one?” Lester smiled back when Ditzy laughed and nodded. Right. Which one is it? Lester took several minutes to find what he thought was the correct one and pointed it out to Ditzy.
“That's very good.” Ditzy smiled, “Would you like a cup of tea before we continue?”
Lester continued to scrutinise his cards as he almost absent-mindedly nodded in reply to Ditzy's question. Remember the name. Come on, no-longer irritating one... no, um... name, what's his name... Connor went over them enough with me. Come on. What is it. Yes! Is that it? I think so. I hope so. He mouthed the word silently several times as he watched Ditzy walk towards the kitchen. It is now or never.
Ditzy was almost through the kitchen door when Lester's voice brought him to a stop. He turned around and met Lester's eyes, “Could you repeat that?”
Lester swallowed in fear. Did I get it right?
“James, please. Can you repeat what you said? It's OK, love.” Lester ducked his head as he spoke, his voice soft and full of hope as he repeated. “Yes, thank you, David.” He cautiously looked up, “Did I get it right?”
Ditzy's face lit up in a grin as he came back into the room to hug Lester as he kissed him hard on the lips. “Yes, love. You got it right. So right. Abby will be so pleased to hear you say that.”
“Abby.” Lester frowned as he said the name. Abby. Fierce protector's name. “Abby. Abby. Abby.”
“Yes, James. Abby.”
They both looked up as the front door opened and clicked close and Abby called out. “Hi guys. I'm home.”
Ditzy dropped another kiss on to Lester's mouth before pressing a finger against his lips. “Abby? Can you come in here for a moment?”
A few seconds later Abby appeared in the doorway, her jacket half-off and a concerned look on her face. “James? David? Is everything OK?”
Ditzy nodded as he nudged Lester. “James?”
Lester looked between them before he ducked his head. What if I can't get the right name? He felt his chin nudged up and looked into Ditzy's eyes. The confidence and love he saw there gave Lester the courage to try. I can do this. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth before closing it again. Lester could feel Ditzy's hand rubbing his shoulder.
“You can do it, James.”
I can? I can try. Lester licked his lips nervously before looking up at the worried face of his fierce protector... no, what was it. “You're Abby.” He watched her... Abby's? face as she froze and then blinked back tears. Did I get it wrong? Lester ducked his head and then found himself with an armful of Abby as she hugged him tight.
“Yes, I'm Abby.”
*****
Lester caught himself gnawing his lower lip as he sought the word he was after. He glance up at Moira as she patiently watched him, before moving his gaze to Abby and Ditzy. His two lovers looked so hopeful and Lester's frustration grew at his inability to locate the wanted word.
“Take your time, James. Deep breaths, in and out.”
Closing his eyes in the hope that it would help, Lester began to shake as he still failed to find the word. He almost struck out as arms wrapped around him and a gentle kiss was pressed to his hair. Abby's voice was soft in his ear, “It's OK, James.”
Lester's eyes snapped open and his voice was bitter as he said, “No, it isn't. I can't think of the word.”
Moira smiled encouragingly. “It's fine, James. This is a tense situation for you.”
“I'll always have problems with finding the correct word when I'm under pressure?”
“It's likely. Just do what I've taught you and you'll be fine. Remember there's nothing wrong with describing out loud the word you are looking for.”
Lester looked down and closed his eyes as he sighed. “I won't be able to go back to my job.”
“What? Why not?” Abby demanded.
“It has lots of pressure and I'll forget my words.”
Lester could feel Abby's arms tightened around him. “Don't give up hope, love.”