an ode to my livejournal
Dearest Livejournal-
The past four years with you (or other journals alike [Deadjournal, Diaryland, and ujournal]) have been a great time for me. You've brought me to meet lots of great new people with whom I became very close with and have been able to keep friendships with over the years. Friends I'm not sure I could do without. You have been wonderful to me. You also opened me to a world of underwear.. onlyundiesclub.com community in which I got to be scandalous, and most people were welcoming of what they saw and made me feel good about myself for a little while. You've also opened up a world of people I might not have seen otherwise. What my aquaintances were thinking, feeling, and going through. As well as perfect strangers. And we all seemed to help one another out and it was nice and life was okay.
Then everyone decided this was a giant stage where some overwhelming drama was taking place and people were using my journal and my friends' journals as a place to hurt one another. And everything fell apart and I lost interest, only coming to you when I needed consoling. Or had something happy to say. I went through a phase of writing many entries that were friends only and even more that were completely private. And for what? Because I was afraid of being hurt. And I was afraid of being judged. Or hurting anyone else. I never for a minute thought I would have to hide my journal entries from anyone ever. When I found myself doing this, I knew you were not what you once were. A place to meet friends. A place where people used to actually care about eachother.
Livejournal, I think NH ruined you. I think a lot of the people I met there ruined my fun. I suppose that is the price to pay with schools. I have learned that when surrounded by too many peers, nothing good could ever come from it. NH has turned me of wanting to make more friends my age and even more sad, NH has turned me off from ever wanting to go to school while I'm still young and by chance might get sucked into the drama. I want no part of it. Luckily I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever hope for, and a boyfriend who loves me more than i ever could ever dream up.
Today my dear Livejournal, I am telling you it is time for me to go my own way. I will keep you in my heart, and I will keep you on my favorites list. I'll even keep my journal, but I will no longer be posting myself, I keep you merely to stay in touch with friends and keep up with everyones life. I may be that random comment that brightens someones day or cheers someone up, or makes someone smile a little. I couldn't let that go. I just feel my thoughts are too grown up to be swallowed by drama craving young adults who have nothing better to do than praise there own fucked up lives as if they are god and put down people because they think it will be funny. My emotions have grown up. My thoughts have grown up. And my heart has grown up as well. I feel the things I need to express can be told to the people I love face to face, the friends I concider family, and the boyfriend I dream to marry. Welcome to my drama free life, Livejournal. You can concider this "knit_heart" to finally be completed. i hope you won't miss me too much.
Sincerely,
knit_me_a_heart
aka
Miss Desiree Angele Lawrence
♥
The past four years with you (or other journals alike [Deadjournal, Diaryland, and ujournal]) have been a great time for me. You've brought me to meet lots of great new people with whom I became very close with and have been able to keep friendships with over the years. Friends I'm not sure I could do without. You have been wonderful to me. You also opened me to a world of underwear.. onlyundiesclub.com community in which I got to be scandalous, and most people were welcoming of what they saw and made me feel good about myself for a little while. You've also opened up a world of people I might not have seen otherwise. What my aquaintances were thinking, feeling, and going through. As well as perfect strangers. And we all seemed to help one another out and it was nice and life was okay.
Then everyone decided this was a giant stage where some overwhelming drama was taking place and people were using my journal and my friends' journals as a place to hurt one another. And everything fell apart and I lost interest, only coming to you when I needed consoling. Or had something happy to say. I went through a phase of writing many entries that were friends only and even more that were completely private. And for what? Because I was afraid of being hurt. And I was afraid of being judged. Or hurting anyone else. I never for a minute thought I would have to hide my journal entries from anyone ever. When I found myself doing this, I knew you were not what you once were. A place to meet friends. A place where people used to actually care about eachother.
Livejournal, I think NH ruined you. I think a lot of the people I met there ruined my fun. I suppose that is the price to pay with schools. I have learned that when surrounded by too many peers, nothing good could ever come from it. NH has turned me of wanting to make more friends my age and even more sad, NH has turned me off from ever wanting to go to school while I'm still young and by chance might get sucked into the drama. I want no part of it. Luckily I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever hope for, and a boyfriend who loves me more than i ever could ever dream up.
Today my dear Livejournal, I am telling you it is time for me to go my own way. I will keep you in my heart, and I will keep you on my favorites list. I'll even keep my journal, but I will no longer be posting myself, I keep you merely to stay in touch with friends and keep up with everyones life. I may be that random comment that brightens someones day or cheers someone up, or makes someone smile a little. I couldn't let that go. I just feel my thoughts are too grown up to be swallowed by drama craving young adults who have nothing better to do than praise there own fucked up lives as if they are god and put down people because they think it will be funny. My emotions have grown up. My thoughts have grown up. And my heart has grown up as well. I feel the things I need to express can be told to the people I love face to face, the friends I concider family, and the boyfriend I dream to marry. Welcome to my drama free life, Livejournal. You can concider this "knit_heart" to finally be completed. i hope you won't miss me too much.
Sincerely,
knit_me_a_heart
aka
Miss Desiree Angele Lawrence
♥