Christmas etc etc
It's boxing day, I'm at home and it's quite warm. I could be at the beach but it's too much of an effort to get there.
The first half of my Christmas Day yesterday was spent at work. I wasn't really doing much besides surfing the internet. They arranged a Christmas lunch for the 5 of us that had drawn the short straws, but provided enough food for about 30 people. I just spoke to Sam, who's working today, and she tells me that the the food is still in the same place that we left it and that someone was actually eating it today. I see food poisoning in someone's future.
I left work at about 3.30 and got to my grandmothers' place just before 4. The entire family was there, bar one of my aunty's, who was spending Christmas with her husband's side of the family. We headed to the park just after I got there for a game of cricket. My brother's girlfriend, Charlotte, had to be given a crash course in the game as she didn't know the rules. How un-australian.
The rest of the afternoon was spent waiting for my aunty violet and her family to join us. Here's where it gets interesting. Her daughter (and my cousin) Carla had a dream a couple of weeks ago in which my grandfather appeared. He told her to tell my grandmother that he's always with her and not to cry for him anymore. He also told her that he wanted us to remember him at Christmas by each lighting a candle for him. Carla didn't tell any of us about her dream until last week, a couple of weeks afer she'd had it. My mother told me about it on Friday, as I was on my way to meet Sam and Jane for dinner. It put me on the verge of tears again. I know that dreams are just your subconcious playing tricks on you but I was insanely jealous of my cousin's dream. I'd had one on thursday night that left me frightened and unable to sleep. He didn't talk to me in my dream but instead appeared as I'd last seen him, that morning in the hospital.
I don't think you get over something like this. I knew it wouldn't be easy but i just didn't think that it would be this hard. I've sort of been taking the coward's way out recently by drinking alot and trying to ignore it all but it never works. Quite the reverse, infact. I get even more emotional. Tears made an appearance at dinner on friday and Sam and Jane had to comfort me. I was quite close to them again last night at Mario's house. We were talking about how he hasn't been creative recently with his music because he hadn't been depressed. He said that he couldn't write songs unless he was. I told him that had I been writing, I would have had enough material for a double album by now.
The first half of my Christmas Day yesterday was spent at work. I wasn't really doing much besides surfing the internet. They arranged a Christmas lunch for the 5 of us that had drawn the short straws, but provided enough food for about 30 people. I just spoke to Sam, who's working today, and she tells me that the the food is still in the same place that we left it and that someone was actually eating it today. I see food poisoning in someone's future.
I left work at about 3.30 and got to my grandmothers' place just before 4. The entire family was there, bar one of my aunty's, who was spending Christmas with her husband's side of the family. We headed to the park just after I got there for a game of cricket. My brother's girlfriend, Charlotte, had to be given a crash course in the game as she didn't know the rules. How un-australian.
The rest of the afternoon was spent waiting for my aunty violet and her family to join us. Here's where it gets interesting. Her daughter (and my cousin) Carla had a dream a couple of weeks ago in which my grandfather appeared. He told her to tell my grandmother that he's always with her and not to cry for him anymore. He also told her that he wanted us to remember him at Christmas by each lighting a candle for him. Carla didn't tell any of us about her dream until last week, a couple of weeks afer she'd had it. My mother told me about it on Friday, as I was on my way to meet Sam and Jane for dinner. It put me on the verge of tears again. I know that dreams are just your subconcious playing tricks on you but I was insanely jealous of my cousin's dream. I'd had one on thursday night that left me frightened and unable to sleep. He didn't talk to me in my dream but instead appeared as I'd last seen him, that morning in the hospital.
I don't think you get over something like this. I knew it wouldn't be easy but i just didn't think that it would be this hard. I've sort of been taking the coward's way out recently by drinking alot and trying to ignore it all but it never works. Quite the reverse, infact. I get even more emotional. Tears made an appearance at dinner on friday and Sam and Jane had to comfort me. I was quite close to them again last night at Mario's house. We were talking about how he hasn't been creative recently with his music because he hadn't been depressed. He said that he couldn't write songs unless he was. I told him that had I been writing, I would have had enough material for a double album by now.