Hopes and Dreams
Things that I hope for and wish for are numerous to say the least. I though did want to address several things that these past few days have made me think about. I hope to become a teacher for college. I hope to write and draw comics. I hope to write, direct and make all sorts of movies. Now I don't expect to do these all at once. One of my favorite Directors didn't start out with comics, he made movies. Let's hear it for Kevin Smith. He started out doing one and progressed to do the other things he loves. That's my hopes and dreams. But I've always thought of it as starting with teaching and working in comics. See, I've been doing my research as to what will make me a good college professor. If I want to be a good one, then I've got to work in the field I teach.
Now, I realize that I'm not great, but I'm better than normal. I also put forth the effort to work on art whenever I get the chance. If I get into grad school like I want, then that will give me the chance to work with those that will get me better. See, I've never really seen myself doing anything else other than teaching since I was in high school. I have pushed for several years to find out what I need to do, and sadly got a lot of bad advice along the way. In a lot of cases, I got no advice and had to make it up as I went along. You'd be surprised at how few people really know what you've got to become a teacher for college. Not even all the teachers will say the same things about what to do. Hence the bad advice.
But now, after pursuing this dream of comics for so long, I'm being faced with an opportunity to pursue my other love, movies. Movies, comics, books all have a lot in common. It's no real surprise to me that my love for one has lead to these others. Comics feed off of movies, TV and novels. Movies about comics are becoming more and more common. Even TV shows are getting the idea. Now someone said of me recently I have no idea what I want to do. How wrong they were and are. I know exactly what I've got to do. Now if that means that I have to retake the GRE several times before I'm accepted, then so be it. If it means that I've got to get my GPA up so be it. I am not deterred by such problems. I now however am finding that the world of movie making is so much more available for me than I had ever thought. But that doesn't mean I've given up wanting to illustrate, it just means I've got a lot more on my plate and a lot more work to do. Frankly, I look forward to every minute of it.
As far as a relationship in my life goes. I want one. I want someone to be romantically involved with. I love my friends and they should never doubt that I do, but I would like to have a good relationship with someone that I can respect and see as equal. I've searched over the past five years for someone that I might even consider, but I've never had an easy time of even finding someone I might consider. Between the time of the brake up with my ex, till the time I decided to ask Sara, I'd been flatly turned down by 48 women. They didn't even know me. (Sadly, I got hit on by eight men in the mean time, but that's a different story.) Heck, like I started out my journal with, I'd ask them to coffee or tea or something innocent if I thought they were interesting people. They ranged in age from 18-56. But, all of them wouldn't even take the chance to get to know me. It's not like I was asking for a date or for them to be my girlfriend, it was just a way of me saying, "Hey, can I get to know you better?"
But Sara surprised me. She sat down, watched movies with me, talked and talked and talked. (Okay, I did most of the talking but you get the point.) After three months of this, I asked her out. We went, saw a movie and had a good time. We didn't even try to become girlfriend or boyfriend until about a month after that. Right now, I hope that she's the one. If not, then I'll continue looking. That's life. If you don't find what you're looking for at one spot, then there's always the chance of something better coming along. Right now I don't know if there's something better. Right now I don't know anything. We're just beginning to get to know each other. It's going to be at least two years before I know anything.
So, that's a small sampling of what I hope and dream. There's so much more I want to do. I want to help this country become great again. I want to help the poor like myself. I want to help those who have been through what I have. I want to bring an era of enlightenment to this country like nothing we've ever seen before. I want people to respect each other first before they make judgments. I want people to question their lives, beliefs and reasoning. I want us to be the country we were while Roosevelt was in office. I want education in this country to mean something again. I want us to be as protective and loving of our world as Teddy was. These are simple dreams I think. Dreams of peace and brotherhood that all people can get behind. A dream similar to Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and everyone else that strives for peace, hope and unity.
Now, I realize that I'm not great, but I'm better than normal. I also put forth the effort to work on art whenever I get the chance. If I get into grad school like I want, then that will give me the chance to work with those that will get me better. See, I've never really seen myself doing anything else other than teaching since I was in high school. I have pushed for several years to find out what I need to do, and sadly got a lot of bad advice along the way. In a lot of cases, I got no advice and had to make it up as I went along. You'd be surprised at how few people really know what you've got to become a teacher for college. Not even all the teachers will say the same things about what to do. Hence the bad advice.
But now, after pursuing this dream of comics for so long, I'm being faced with an opportunity to pursue my other love, movies. Movies, comics, books all have a lot in common. It's no real surprise to me that my love for one has lead to these others. Comics feed off of movies, TV and novels. Movies about comics are becoming more and more common. Even TV shows are getting the idea. Now someone said of me recently I have no idea what I want to do. How wrong they were and are. I know exactly what I've got to do. Now if that means that I have to retake the GRE several times before I'm accepted, then so be it. If it means that I've got to get my GPA up so be it. I am not deterred by such problems. I now however am finding that the world of movie making is so much more available for me than I had ever thought. But that doesn't mean I've given up wanting to illustrate, it just means I've got a lot more on my plate and a lot more work to do. Frankly, I look forward to every minute of it.
As far as a relationship in my life goes. I want one. I want someone to be romantically involved with. I love my friends and they should never doubt that I do, but I would like to have a good relationship with someone that I can respect and see as equal. I've searched over the past five years for someone that I might even consider, but I've never had an easy time of even finding someone I might consider. Between the time of the brake up with my ex, till the time I decided to ask Sara, I'd been flatly turned down by 48 women. They didn't even know me. (Sadly, I got hit on by eight men in the mean time, but that's a different story.) Heck, like I started out my journal with, I'd ask them to coffee or tea or something innocent if I thought they were interesting people. They ranged in age from 18-56. But, all of them wouldn't even take the chance to get to know me. It's not like I was asking for a date or for them to be my girlfriend, it was just a way of me saying, "Hey, can I get to know you better?"
But Sara surprised me. She sat down, watched movies with me, talked and talked and talked. (Okay, I did most of the talking but you get the point.) After three months of this, I asked her out. We went, saw a movie and had a good time. We didn't even try to become girlfriend or boyfriend until about a month after that. Right now, I hope that she's the one. If not, then I'll continue looking. That's life. If you don't find what you're looking for at one spot, then there's always the chance of something better coming along. Right now I don't know if there's something better. Right now I don't know anything. We're just beginning to get to know each other. It's going to be at least two years before I know anything.
So, that's a small sampling of what I hope and dream. There's so much more I want to do. I want to help this country become great again. I want to help the poor like myself. I want to help those who have been through what I have. I want to bring an era of enlightenment to this country like nothing we've ever seen before. I want people to respect each other first before they make judgments. I want people to question their lives, beliefs and reasoning. I want us to be the country we were while Roosevelt was in office. I want education in this country to mean something again. I want us to be as protective and loving of our world as Teddy was. These are simple dreams I think. Dreams of peace and brotherhood that all people can get behind. A dream similar to Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and everyone else that strives for peace, hope and unity.