:(
Just finished the last dvd of cowboy bebop.... I was really not in a good mood, but it helped facilitate some good emotional release... :(
Terry said he wasn't ready yet. It hurt a lot more than i was really expecting... I was developing such strong feelings so fast. But i tried so hard to have no expectations, because i felt like at any point the carpet could be ripped from under me... I said that if he was experiencing uncomfortableness or jealousy then i ought to back off.
It just felt so good to be with them, i wanted to be with them so much. I figured, they had done this before, and it was the other person who had all the jealousy, so i thought maybe it'd be fine since i'm not really the jealous type... but we are all human and fall prey to every emotion.
It's crazy that i'm so upset by it... it's been less than a month, literally. I wasn't supposed to get this attached, remember??? Remember you told yourself not to get this caught up, not to get yourself hurt?
We talked so much about things... future things. It got me so excited. We could raise chickens together, build a bunny cage outside, go on camping trips together, watch anime and play video games.... learn card games. We talked about it like it was all concrete. I mean, we can still do these things as friends i guess, but it all takes on a special significance when you like someones so much.
Maybe it can happen in the future, but maybe it won't. I'm keeping some hope. I'm trying to not necessarily look at this as the end. But maybe it is...
I had a lot of fun the last few days but for now i'm going to try to put it out of my mind... My focus should be on school work.
Terry said he wasn't ready yet. It hurt a lot more than i was really expecting... I was developing such strong feelings so fast. But i tried so hard to have no expectations, because i felt like at any point the carpet could be ripped from under me... I said that if he was experiencing uncomfortableness or jealousy then i ought to back off.
It just felt so good to be with them, i wanted to be with them so much. I figured, they had done this before, and it was the other person who had all the jealousy, so i thought maybe it'd be fine since i'm not really the jealous type... but we are all human and fall prey to every emotion.
It's crazy that i'm so upset by it... it's been less than a month, literally. I wasn't supposed to get this attached, remember??? Remember you told yourself not to get this caught up, not to get yourself hurt?
We talked so much about things... future things. It got me so excited. We could raise chickens together, build a bunny cage outside, go on camping trips together, watch anime and play video games.... learn card games. We talked about it like it was all concrete. I mean, we can still do these things as friends i guess, but it all takes on a special significance when you like someones so much.
Maybe it can happen in the future, but maybe it won't. I'm keeping some hope. I'm trying to not necessarily look at this as the end. But maybe it is...
I had a lot of fun the last few days but for now i'm going to try to put it out of my mind... My focus should be on school work.
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