All of the things.
I've had an interesting and adventurous past two days, but i'll try my best to make this entry brief because i seriously don't even have the time to be writing it, ha...
Yesterday, Monday night, I went out for drinks with Alex for his 22nd. It was a ton of fun. I knew mostly everyone that came, so I was pretty comfortable. Corina came and drove me there, she was fancy as usual... Amanda works there, so she was already there. Paul joined as well, and we mostly just kept to ourselves a lot instead of participating in the festivities, but there was a bit of participation! :) Terry couldn't come, But I got to see him later that night...
We started at Gabriel's gate and headed to cathode... I was so glad I didn't get a Big Ass Drink, because I would have been gone. I drank before I left the house so that i didn't spend much money at the bar. That helped a lot.
After much merriment we left with a gift for Alex (Not birthday boy Alex)... I got to know her a little better. There's no reason that girl doesn't have more friends besides her shyness. I hope I can be her friend... I want to get to know them all a lot better. No matter what the outcome, I like them as people, so I look at it as win-win having met them. They're intelligent, interesting, substantive, creative, and adventurous among lots of other good things...
I spent the night, and it was really nice... Slowly, I'm getting more comfortable with that dynamic. It's going to take me some time, I think, but I think i made a step in the right direction. I get so nervous about that not happening, and then it kind of fulfills itself because of the anxiety.... I just have to stop thinking about it and try to be here now.... Why that's such a thing for me I don't know? I'm working on just forgetting insecurities. I have so many that I just want to let them burn away like useless paper.
The morning after was really nice too... Paul drove me home. I've liked the way someone has smelled before, even just friends, but their scent kind of takes it to a different level. I've never wanted to smell people so much in my life. But sometimes I still get awkward around Terry.... he's so enigmatic. But maybe he's this way around new people... I don't want to assume the worst. I think I have a connecting point, but then I think I don't, or maybe I am just too in my own head about it. Aren't I supposed to just be going with the flow, here?! I'll just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens... come what may, c'est la vie, etc etc etc
No matter the outcome, I'm still enjoying life right now. :) I've started getting new music again. Excite.
When I got home, I cooked myself some breakfast. Left over rice dish from the party, that i topped with fried eggs and sriracha. It was so good. It was so good. It was so good. I did some reading and studying before class. I ended up making the same thing again when i got home from classes and my spanish group today... The group was at Ashker's this time. I think we found a better place than coffee culture.... It's got a much more peaceful vibe than coffee culture. I don't hate that place, but it's definitely not my favorite.
I called Brandy (mienaiusagi) and we chatted for a bit. Looks like her boo has almost got his ducks in a row with moving to Denver to be with her. I'm excited for her, and for them... I really hope they do move back to Buffalo after a few years like they plan. I still miss her so much... The best parts of Buffalo end up moving away... But it seems like our city doesn't appreciate those people when they're here, so we lose them to bigger, better places. *sigh* Perhaps she really will. It'd be cool if i moved away for a few years myself just to get out and see this damn world i read so much about.
I sit and read about exotic places, I sit and stare at maps, I sit and read about big cities i may never see in my life, and I wish i could give myself these things. This year I am giving myself one of those things... I'm going to Iceland, and I have no idea what I'm even going to do there, but it will be fabulous, and I will love it, and i will meet fantastic people. I will enjoy myself.
April got home a short time ago. The other night she admitted something to me that she did, that was pretty understandable, however stupid none the less. She came into my room a few minutes ago and said she'd received a call from the bpd about it, but denied it... and was acting like she was telling the truth to my face because Michael was near and I guess she didn't want him to know? He was in the other room when she admitted to it the first time! I don't know what her deal is but i called her out on it, and she went on acting like she hadn't so i just stopped her talking about it because it made me sick a little... I think she's developing a drinking problem again. She used to hide beers around the house when she was dating dave because she didn't want him to know that she had an occasional drink every now and then. It's dishonest and I hate that she just expects me to be complicit. It isn't fair. These last 2 weeks, I keep thinking about how I can't wait for the lease to be up. I don't want to lose this nice apartment, but I can't stay here with her. But in the end, I think i'm the best person to be here with her because I'm so easy going and usually balanced in my moods. I think it keeps her calmer than she'd otherwise be.
This was supposed to be brief.
I want sniffs and naked cuddles. >;C
*studies*