(no subject)
as i write this i feel i would prefer to scream at the top of my lungs, but that is improper for a lady like me.
HAH. no really i just don't want people thinking i'm crazy.
so. after all this. my finals are over. i am so glad to be done with schoolwork. now i need to make some money. that would be great.
p.s. he's a douchebag, still. silly, isn't it? me thinking anything would be different. i guess maybe he's right, i should just forget about him. i'm pissed because telling me that had nothing to do with me or my feelings, it had to do with his feelings and i just think he's entirely too selfish and self-involved for his own good. which really, when it comes down to it, isn't really a surprise to anyone, now is it. anyways, i hope that chapter of my life is closed.
and yes, that includes the chapter where even when i know i deserve better, i still let my heart(silly and naive as it is) dominate what i do instead of being smart about things. i think it comes down to a couple things about me that i don't want to have to change... i think the best of people, apparently far past the point where they deserve it. i allow people to walk all over me, not purposely, but because i'm too nice and too forgiving and let things go when perhaps i shouldn't. quite frankly i'm sick of letting other people's whims get to me. but i just feel like letting qualities like that go will make me jaded... also i just don't want to have to believe that people are only out for themselves and fuck everyone else...
i don't even really know anymore, lol.
HAH. no really i just don't want people thinking i'm crazy.
so. after all this. my finals are over. i am so glad to be done with schoolwork. now i need to make some money. that would be great.
p.s. he's a douchebag, still. silly, isn't it? me thinking anything would be different. i guess maybe he's right, i should just forget about him. i'm pissed because telling me that had nothing to do with me or my feelings, it had to do with his feelings and i just think he's entirely too selfish and self-involved for his own good. which really, when it comes down to it, isn't really a surprise to anyone, now is it. anyways, i hope that chapter of my life is closed.
and yes, that includes the chapter where even when i know i deserve better, i still let my heart(silly and naive as it is) dominate what i do instead of being smart about things. i think it comes down to a couple things about me that i don't want to have to change... i think the best of people, apparently far past the point where they deserve it. i allow people to walk all over me, not purposely, but because i'm too nice and too forgiving and let things go when perhaps i shouldn't. quite frankly i'm sick of letting other people's whims get to me. but i just feel like letting qualities like that go will make me jaded... also i just don't want to have to believe that people are only out for themselves and fuck everyone else...
i don't even really know anymore, lol.