ABC's about me
• A
Are you available?
YES
What is your age?
Older than twenty-one.
Astrology sign?
Don't believe in it.
• B
Do you know anyone named Brian?
Sure. Do you?
When is your birthday?
On the day I was born.
Been stung by a bee?
Not recently.
• C
Whats your favorite candy
Any in the form of liquor.
What color is your car?
A briliantly masculine red, except, it's not mine.
• D
Do you daydream?
Yes.
What's your favorite kind of dog?
One that doesn't bite me or shit in the house.
E
Have you ever been in the emergency room?
Yes.
Ever pet an elephant?
Have you?
Ever swam with sharks?
Wouldn't want to.
F
Do you use fly swatters?
For many reasons.
Is there a fan in your room?
The aliens didn't use them, neither do I.
Does the number four have any significance?
No.
• G
Do you chew gum?
-spits it out- No...
Do you like gory movies?
Yes.
•H
How are you?
Fine, yourself?
What's your height
Not tall enough.
What color is your hair?
Brown. Dark.
• i
Have you ever ice skated?
Once. Was drunk.
Favorite Ice cream?
Chocolate Chip Cookie dough.
• J
Favorite Jelly bean?
Black-pepper, and popcorn.
Do you wear jewelry?
No.
• K
Have you ever flown a kite?
Years ago.
Do you think baby kangaroos are cute?
No.
• L
Are you laid back?
Sure.
Lions or tigers?
Neither.
Do you like black licorice?
Yes.
•M
Favorite place at the Mall?
Good question.
favorite movie?
Real Genius, of course.
• N
Do you prefer night or day?
Night.
Do you have a nickname?
Fortunately.
• O
Are you an only child?
No.
Do you like the color orange?
Yes.
• P
Do you know anyone named Penelope?
No.
Favorite flavor of popcorn?
Buttered. With salt. Lots of salt.
•Q
Do you have a lot of quiet time?
No. I avoid it. Like the plague.
Do you collect the state quarters?
What do I look like? A loser? No.
Have you ever played quarters?
Yes.
•R
Do you think you're always right?
What the hell kind of question is this? DUH.
Do you watch reality tv?
No. It's even more brain melting then reality is.
Do you prefer sun or rain?
Sun.
•S
How many pair of shoes do you have?
Two. Lots of slippers.
Do you like wearing sun glasses?
Always.
•T
time you go to sleep
When I'm tired.
•U
Can you ride a unicycle?
Not a clown, thank you.
• V
Did you ever watch Veggietales?
What?
• W
What's your worst habit?
I suppose being an insensitive ass... no. Chewing pens.
What do you want right now?
A hot woman.
• X
Have you ever had an x-ray?
Yes.
• Y
Do you like the color yellow?
Yes.
Do you yell when you're angry?
Duh.
• Z
Do you believe in Zodiac signs?
No.