Merr.
Cut dance last night. I didn't feel like it. The recital is over, so I had no reason to go. Plus I was tired.
I've been in such a bad mood lately. It's funny, though, I want to scream "I want to go home!" and stomp around, but I'm already home. Home just never feels like home, though. Although, I really don't know what home should feel like since I've live in the same non-home-like home all my life. Homes shouldn't be a place you hate going to, though, right?
Looking through some Japanese clothing stores, gothic lolita clothing stores. I really don't know why I am, though. It's scary - one shirt is worth more than my whole wardrobe put together.
I hate New Jersey. I hate this town. I don't care what my mother says, I don't hate it because I never leave the house, or because it's winter, which it isn't anymore. I hate it because it's so boring here. Because I hate the people here, the way things are done, everything about it.
Interesting question, my mother brought up - if we won the lottery would I want to stay in Mainland? I said no, and I meant it. She asked if I would want to stay in New Jersey, and I said no, and I meant it. Then she asked what about my friends, and I said I didn't care... and I meant it. Guess that shows what type of person I am. Not a good person, at least.
Then again, the highlights of my day are talking to people I know online. That really should proove something.
Thinking about leaving all the message boards I go to, except the RPGs. I never really post in any of them, and I never really feel like I "belong" in any of them.
...If I had any sense of direction I think I would run away. But I don't, and I don't want to risk getting lost and ending up here again...
How long until August? If I run away in Maryland I doubt anyone can catch me, and I probably can't end up here. Plus I can hide in a museum or something for a few days. O.o
I've been in such a bad mood lately. It's funny, though, I want to scream "I want to go home!" and stomp around, but I'm already home. Home just never feels like home, though. Although, I really don't know what home should feel like since I've live in the same non-home-like home all my life. Homes shouldn't be a place you hate going to, though, right?
Looking through some Japanese clothing stores, gothic lolita clothing stores. I really don't know why I am, though. It's scary - one shirt is worth more than my whole wardrobe put together.
I hate New Jersey. I hate this town. I don't care what my mother says, I don't hate it because I never leave the house, or because it's winter, which it isn't anymore. I hate it because it's so boring here. Because I hate the people here, the way things are done, everything about it.
Interesting question, my mother brought up - if we won the lottery would I want to stay in Mainland? I said no, and I meant it. She asked if I would want to stay in New Jersey, and I said no, and I meant it. Then she asked what about my friends, and I said I didn't care... and I meant it. Guess that shows what type of person I am. Not a good person, at least.
Then again, the highlights of my day are talking to people I know online. That really should proove something.
Thinking about leaving all the message boards I go to, except the RPGs. I never really post in any of them, and I never really feel like I "belong" in any of them.
...If I had any sense of direction I think I would run away. But I don't, and I don't want to risk getting lost and ending up here again...
How long until August? If I run away in Maryland I doubt anyone can catch me, and I probably can't end up here. Plus I can hide in a museum or something for a few days. O.o