Sorry for ranting... You don't have to read.
So I just tried to make myself cry...
I know weird thing to say but I figured a good cry would make me feel better cuz it always used to. Plus I haven't cried in... I don't even know how long so I was well passed the time to do it.
So I'm sitting in my room and I'm trying to cry. Thinking of ways to make me cry. Nothing works. I try everything and nothing works. Sad movies... Thinking of bad stuff that's happend. Nothing. It's been so long since I cried that I can't do it anymore...
It really sucks.
Anyway. Schools been ok. Not great. But okay. Lot of work to do. Strength building robs me of any energy I might hope to have. Been slightly stressed. Haven't seen as much of my friends as I would like to. Nothing is the same and I hate it.
I'm going with Carrie this weekend to University of North Alabama to help her move in and I'll be able to stay the night with her there. And that would be just fine but.... Jordan is going to be there too. I like Jordan but now I never get to see Carrie withouth that boy attached to her hip. And it's not like it was with Casey. With Casey she wanted to get away from him and hang out. With Jordan. She invites him over on girls nights and they are always together and they are so... happy.
Bleh. I guess I'm just ranting. Upset cuz she has something I don't. I don't know why I thought that what I did would have gotten me more but that's what I did think. And I was stupid to think that way. I want to just give up, but giving up isn't that easy.
Chores suck too. My brother manages to dirty up every dish in the house and then some. He also dropped a full jug of Sweet Tea on the floor and didn't clean it up so I had to clean it up for the lazy bastard. He eats everything. He smells terrible. He leaves more hair in the bathroom than a girl would. He also doesn't know how to flush. I'm constantly cleaning up after him and my dad.... This is what life would be like if my mom died of some horrible disease like my dad keeps saying she will soon.
I just can't take it. I haven't vented in a long time and I figured that instead of venting I could do that crying thing but I guess I really am heartless.
Next week will be better.
I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I spend my time caring so much and it doesn't even matter.
I know weird thing to say but I figured a good cry would make me feel better cuz it always used to. Plus I haven't cried in... I don't even know how long so I was well passed the time to do it.
So I'm sitting in my room and I'm trying to cry. Thinking of ways to make me cry. Nothing works. I try everything and nothing works. Sad movies... Thinking of bad stuff that's happend. Nothing. It's been so long since I cried that I can't do it anymore...
It really sucks.
Anyway. Schools been ok. Not great. But okay. Lot of work to do. Strength building robs me of any energy I might hope to have. Been slightly stressed. Haven't seen as much of my friends as I would like to. Nothing is the same and I hate it.
I'm going with Carrie this weekend to University of North Alabama to help her move in and I'll be able to stay the night with her there. And that would be just fine but.... Jordan is going to be there too. I like Jordan but now I never get to see Carrie withouth that boy attached to her hip. And it's not like it was with Casey. With Casey she wanted to get away from him and hang out. With Jordan. She invites him over on girls nights and they are always together and they are so... happy.
Bleh. I guess I'm just ranting. Upset cuz she has something I don't. I don't know why I thought that what I did would have gotten me more but that's what I did think. And I was stupid to think that way. I want to just give up, but giving up isn't that easy.
Chores suck too. My brother manages to dirty up every dish in the house and then some. He also dropped a full jug of Sweet Tea on the floor and didn't clean it up so I had to clean it up for the lazy bastard. He eats everything. He smells terrible. He leaves more hair in the bathroom than a girl would. He also doesn't know how to flush. I'm constantly cleaning up after him and my dad.... This is what life would be like if my mom died of some horrible disease like my dad keeps saying she will soon.
I just can't take it. I haven't vented in a long time and I figured that instead of venting I could do that crying thing but I guess I really am heartless.
Next week will be better.
I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I spend my time caring so much and it doesn't even matter.