I work hard to help any drug user I can. It's about the only 'cause' that I believe/feel all three of the following things about: a.) It's actually a genuine crisis/worldwide continuing atrocity; b.) I won't be unknowingly helping my enemies; c.) and it hasn't been corrupted to a point of personal despondency and uselessness such that my participating wouldn't actually, directly help much, if at all.
Plus, frankly, I think drug users of all kinds and drug 'abusers' in particular are the last true niggers of modern society, if you see what I mean by that. Not, of course, that racism, sexism, and homophobia are anywhere *near* gone; they're not and likely will never be. But there's absolutely *no* cultural awareness in ANY nation (outside a few in Nothern Europe who think the solution is for all the drug users to simply move to *their* countries ... which is tempting but not practical) that I know of regarding the 'War on Drugs' and the sheer devastation being inflicted on such huge numbers of people, almost *purely* through the agencies of ignorance, lies, and the black market. ALL of which are self-created and therefore cannot be destroyed until we reverse the things that create them. Meaning, of course, the entire War on Drugs itself.
And in the meantime, there is a *lot* of bad information growing out there, hurting some people, killing others, and further misinforming everyone around those people in the process. I work my ass off because I have a lot of work to do.
I'm not a very interesting person, to be honest. Well, okay, I'll rephrase that. I guess I'm definitely interesting, but I'm neither especially sane nor a notably decent person. I just try to make my presence on the planet a null-value if I can, at least, rather than sucking up resources and returning nothing like most people like me do. I don't really mind if you watch or not so long as you keep that in mind and don't treat me like any other normal person. I use drugs in large part for psychologic self-medication. *grunt* I dunno. I'm not really awake yet. You decide. It's not my business to tell you what you can and can't do until you're actually stepping on my toes or my space, and this has been, effectively, a shared space for years anyway.
Well I am no saint and never claimed to be...but I do try to give people a chance and if someone offers to help me, that is a very rare and precious thing to me. There are so many countless times I can count that people have left or ignored me when I was begging someone, anyone for just one fucking shred of understanding. So forgive me if I have offended you by trying to get to know you better. I don't force myself on anyone, so I will leave you be and wait for you to decide if you want anything further to do with me. I did as you asked, emailed, and that is all. Ball is in your court now. Don't feel obligated to help me if you don't wish to.
Naw, naw, that's not what I meant at all. Just, I wanted to warn you about me. That's all. I worry enough about the people who're already attached. As I said if you want to watch, you're perfectly free to. I don't mind one way or the other. (Though I admit I'm always curious about new people, especially other users. I'm just depressed and wary at the moment.)
And I'll jump the e-mail as soon as I get my brain together. I'm hoping to get shrooms today; that'll improve me cognitively a great deal. If I had any amphetamines I'd use 'em, but I don't. Oh well.
I am not like other people either, never will be. If I find something in common, a bond with someone, it is hard for me to break it no matter what they do to me. I don't just treat people like fairweather folks whom I use to serve my own needs. Of course in that process I have gotten hurt so badly that I have become jaded and apathetic, and my ultimate goal is to become totally numb and unfeeling. I have yet to achieve that, and I find myself still caring about people I should've told to fuck off long ago. I will readd you, add me back if you wish and we will see what happens, if that is alright.
Plus, frankly, I think drug users of all kinds and drug 'abusers' in particular are the last true niggers of modern society, if you see what I mean by that. Not, of course, that racism, sexism, and homophobia are anywhere *near* gone; they're not and likely will never be. But there's absolutely *no* cultural awareness in ANY nation (outside a few in Nothern Europe who think the solution is for all the drug users to simply move to *their* countries ... which is tempting but not practical) that I know of regarding the 'War on Drugs' and the sheer devastation being inflicted on such huge numbers of people, almost *purely* through the agencies of ignorance, lies, and the black market. ALL of which are self-created and therefore cannot be destroyed until we reverse the things that create them. Meaning, of course, the entire War on Drugs itself.
And in the meantime, there is a *lot* of bad information growing out there, hurting some people, killing others, and further misinforming everyone around those people in the process. I work my ass off because I have a lot of work to do.
I'm not a very interesting person, to be honest. Well, okay, I'll rephrase that. I guess I'm definitely interesting, but I'm neither especially sane nor a notably decent person. I just try to make my presence on the planet a null-value if I can, at least, rather than sucking up resources and returning nothing like most people like me do. I don't really mind if you watch or not so long as you keep that in mind and don't treat me like any other normal person. I use drugs in large part for psychologic self-medication. *grunt* I dunno. I'm not really awake yet. You decide. It's not my business to tell you what you can and can't do until you're actually stepping on my toes or my space, and this has been, effectively, a shared space for years anyway.
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And I'll jump the e-mail as soon as I get my brain together. I'm hoping to get shrooms today; that'll improve me cognitively a great deal. If I had any amphetamines I'd use 'em, but I don't. Oh well.
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