You don't know this, but I sneezed twenty times throughout this entry. Coincidence?
I've been watching so many british TV shows that the thoughts in my head now have a British accent. Woz all thiz then?
Anyway, apparently I'm not as socially gifted / charming / awesome as I had previously thought. I think I just have a bit of a problem with friends of my friends. I get all socially anxious because my friend knows them and I don't and I'm not really sure what to say or talk about. Last week I was at a donut shop with my friend Zack and some of his chums~ and his friend said to me, "You have an aura of apathy that kind of surrounds you." LOL? Then he asked me what I would be doing with my friends right now and I said, "I dunno. The same thing, I guess?" And he said, "With the same level of excitement?" And it wasn't like I was even trying to be antisocial in any way or anything, I genuinely liked all of them. I really don't understand how I come off that way sometimes when I'm not trying to be that way.
And then like, yesterday Matt's friend told me he was excited to meet me and that he had heard good things about me, but it seemed like I was antisocial. I WAS LITERALLY OFFENDED (and that never happens!). I mean, the only people I'm antisocial towards are people that I don't like or whatever. I just didn't have anything to say and I wasn't going to speak up and say something irrelevant. That doesn't mean I'm antisocial and uninterested. Ugh. It was really annoying. Whatever. -_-
Pacsun has been giving me all on call days and every time I call they say they don't need me. I'm thinking maybe this is their way of telling me my seasonal employment has run out? I'm not really sure. I had an on call day yesterday but I didn't know what time I was supposed to call so I just didn't call and slept instead. I wanted to lift a purse from there anyway. If I'm not an employee then they can't do anything about it. Guess it's time to start looking for a new job. Now that I have all this experience, there's no way I can lose! Waitress, three cashier jobs, security guard, retail... You name it, I've done it! But not really. *~*~***~Who knowz wuts next*~*~**~**
I totally blew off like three options I was given on New Years Eve to stay home and watch Skins in bed because I couldn't fathom the prospect of actually making an effort to do my hair, put on makeup, find an outfit etc. And I did feel kind of guilty about leaving my mom home alone on New Years (EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS BEING A HUGE BITCH THAT DAY) so I just convinced myself that New Years Eve is overrated and stayed home. Here's what I was doing in the final hours of 2010:
I got a webcam for Christmas among other things.
I feel like I kind of wasted my 19th year of life because I was constantly worrying over the arrival of 20. In fact, I kept thinking I was 20 for most of 2010 and had to keep telling myself I was 19 and still had some time left. It sucked. I didn't even get to enjoy being able to say I was "nineteen" because it was like the fucking number 20 was burned onto the side of my fucking brain. Sigh.