(no subject)
I feel like a small child who can't have the toy they've been wanting. Not being able to have that toy makes the desire even stronger. You would think that as time goes on eventually they would forget the toy exists. I'm sure that would be easier without a constant daily reminder of its existence. When that daily reminder is removed it SHOULD make it easier. What if you don't want to forget? What if your not willing to let the thought of that toy go? If every time you think of a toy your mind instantly goes back to the one you've been yearning for. No new shiny toy no matter how hard you try to work yourself up for it can replace the other toy. At least right now I can't grasp the idea of accepting or being open to a new toy. I just can't when the other toy keeps me going back for more. Some say playing with a new toy helps forget about the one you couldn't have. My head tries to heed this advice but my heart is not following. So I'm done trying. I will continue to want the toy I can't have. At least not the way I want to have it. I will also continue to try other toys and see if my desire for them will become stronger than the last toy. No need to choose. I can just play!