It's Been A Long Time
I HAVE ALWAYS RELIED ON OTHER PEOPLE'S STRENGTH.
I am supposed to be a grown-up, 25, and embracing the world and all its possibilities. Instead, I'm a cynic; hollow; empty. I've been interested in a lot of things but mostly of similar nature. I try to take the leap numerous times just to leave the world of insanity. But I am trapped in my own mind. I have no tangible or certain path to travel. To cope, I go back to such insanity and the pretentious notion of "this is life, just accept it."
Even with all the wisdom, philosophy, or virtue that comes my way, there's still no sense in me. I am still boggled with all these words - whether they be written in a language expressly saying what they mean or they just go in metaphors, paradoxes, or ironies.
I've been withdrawn. Dead. Crippled. Paranoid. Unmotivated. There's no fun in life. I feel that there's no purpose. No sense. I don't want to be forever a slave to my own demise. But I have no choice, so that I can still keep that tinge of lucidity. I cannot forever hold on and rely on another's strength. I have to will on it - on my own, in my own terms.
I am supposed to be a grown-up, 25, and embracing the world and all its possibilities. Instead, I'm a cynic; hollow; empty. I've been interested in a lot of things but mostly of similar nature. I try to take the leap numerous times just to leave the world of insanity. But I am trapped in my own mind. I have no tangible or certain path to travel. To cope, I go back to such insanity and the pretentious notion of "this is life, just accept it."
Even with all the wisdom, philosophy, or virtue that comes my way, there's still no sense in me. I am still boggled with all these words - whether they be written in a language expressly saying what they mean or they just go in metaphors, paradoxes, or ironies.
I've been withdrawn. Dead. Crippled. Paranoid. Unmotivated. There's no fun in life. I feel that there's no purpose. No sense. I don't want to be forever a slave to my own demise. But I have no choice, so that I can still keep that tinge of lucidity. I cannot forever hold on and rely on another's strength. I have to will on it - on my own, in my own terms.