To seek for happiness is the hardest.
Many people say that happiness must come from within. I believe that. But the goal to achieve happiness that way is easier said than done. Of course, people find happiness in different things - usually superficial or even temporary. Sometimes, happiness depends on material things, activities (passions), and even in other people.
It's wrong to assume though that because people get the best of things sometimes, has accomplished a lot, and at the onset seem to have a good life, should another consider that person happy. Sometimes, it's just a mere projection of that person's idealized version of himself. It may seem that because of such "blessings", problems are indeed self-created, but we wouldn't know for sure...really.
They say, self-knowledge is key. What makes us happy is knowing thyself. But what if, some things you thought you knew about yourself and what makes you happy, does not seem to be real. It's a way to cover up the bad experiences only; things that are deep set in one's heart (I still don't think the heart has control of emotion. The brain still does this.)
I never find loud partying fun. The loud music makes me feel awry. Parties in general are too chaotic for me, especially when there are so many people around. But many people enjoy them, I want to meet new people. So I do try to go to parties to find people who are free and spontaneous.
I like studying. I find the learning experience exhilarating. I like the grind. I like listening intently to lectures (and side comments), but I take offense when the side comments or the lectures strike my character. I don't like that after studying, one is tested for knowledge. I just want to learn so that I may be molded.
I used to love retail therapy and buying things in general to become happier. But these days, nothing like that makes my day brighter. At the end of the day, a simple text message or note, can make me happier.
Recently, I've been missing a very focal person in my life. And it's been so long since we last talked. Well not that long (but long in my terms). And it doesn't help even, that the last time we talked, I felt that she was very disappointed with me. Now, I seem like a little child, looking for her mother, because I was abandoned. I always relied on her strength that she always showed, resilience, a sense of sacrifice, and the ability to keep things to herself. I always like that about her because I am the opposite. I am a selfish coward pretending to be resilient (but only runs to prevent herself from quitting). I am an emotional moody and repressed individual - always claiming to want to do something different but is too afraid to try anything new. I have not escaped from my box. And I guess she's been tired of all of it - the constant complaining, comparing, and unenthusiastic approach to life when I have so much to be thankful for.
It's been really hard for me the past several years. I have not grown up. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry.
It's wrong to assume though that because people get the best of things sometimes, has accomplished a lot, and at the onset seem to have a good life, should another consider that person happy. Sometimes, it's just a mere projection of that person's idealized version of himself. It may seem that because of such "blessings", problems are indeed self-created, but we wouldn't know for sure...really.
They say, self-knowledge is key. What makes us happy is knowing thyself. But what if, some things you thought you knew about yourself and what makes you happy, does not seem to be real. It's a way to cover up the bad experiences only; things that are deep set in one's heart (I still don't think the heart has control of emotion. The brain still does this.)
I never find loud partying fun. The loud music makes me feel awry. Parties in general are too chaotic for me, especially when there are so many people around. But many people enjoy them, I want to meet new people. So I do try to go to parties to find people who are free and spontaneous.
I like studying. I find the learning experience exhilarating. I like the grind. I like listening intently to lectures (and side comments), but I take offense when the side comments or the lectures strike my character. I don't like that after studying, one is tested for knowledge. I just want to learn so that I may be molded.
I used to love retail therapy and buying things in general to become happier. But these days, nothing like that makes my day brighter. At the end of the day, a simple text message or note, can make me happier.
Recently, I've been missing a very focal person in my life. And it's been so long since we last talked. Well not that long (but long in my terms). And it doesn't help even, that the last time we talked, I felt that she was very disappointed with me. Now, I seem like a little child, looking for her mother, because I was abandoned. I always relied on her strength that she always showed, resilience, a sense of sacrifice, and the ability to keep things to herself. I always like that about her because I am the opposite. I am a selfish coward pretending to be resilient (but only runs to prevent herself from quitting). I am an emotional moody and repressed individual - always claiming to want to do something different but is too afraid to try anything new. I have not escaped from my box. And I guess she's been tired of all of it - the constant complaining, comparing, and unenthusiastic approach to life when I have so much to be thankful for.
It's been really hard for me the past several years. I have not grown up. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry.