Fourteeenth Summoning || Voice || With all these things that I've done

[knew_anyway]

[The feed clicks on, and there's nothing but soft breathing for a long moment, before John speaks slowly, painfully.]

...the blame for this event falls solely upon my shoulders. Miss Rei, for all of her involvement, was only following my instruction.

I- I'm sorry. I know that my words don't mean much now, but I'm sorry.

[His voice breaks.

Comments

[knew_anyway]

You had freedom before. Did you not like it?

[Soft, a little apprehensive- he's still not quite sure what to think of Bartimaeus, now more than ever.]

[knew_anyway]

[The tiniest of halfhearted smiles.]

Visit me in prison then.

[Voice]

[marsfireignite]

I was not.

[knew_anyway]

...you wouldn't have been involved in this at all if it weren't for me- none of this would have happened.

[His voice is soft, a little hoarse.]

If I hadn't been here, none of this would have-

[marsfireignite]

Stop talking.

[It's kind of a half-hearted order. It sounds like Rei is walking.]

This was just as much my idea as yours. You aren't the only one who has to pay their dues.

[knew_anyway]

[He sighs, and is quiet for a moment.]

I can't force you to accept your noninvolvement, but I wish you'd reconsider. People are going to be- justifiably- angry.

[Video]

[wingsandwill]

[Have a disheveled, still bloody, and incredibly unimpressed angel.]

You're an idiot.

[knew_anyway]

I behaved poorly, yes.

[He will never say badly of his intellect, Cas :C ]

[wingsandwill]

If you would like to see it that way. However, had you listened rather than determining you knew what you were doing when you clearly didn't, this wouldn't have occurred.

Idiocy is a better excuse than poor judgement in this instance, unless that latter is incredibly lacking.

[knew_anyway]

I listened, Castiel. Just- to the wrong advice, which is my fault and mine alone.

[aquaticbeauty]

[Ami's expression is soft, but stern.]

Perhaps...would you be willing to explain what your thought-process was leading up to this?

What I mean is, what were you trying to accomplish? Did you know this was going to happen?

[She'd like to think that Rei-chan knew better. Maybe she could consider this objectively if she knew what the cause for all this was.]

[knew_anyway]

Of course.

[He takes a deep breath, unable to meet her eyes.]

In my own world, I am a summoner of considerable standing and power. Upon my arrival here, I saw the Animus as spirits and began investigating them. I learned rather quickly that the Animus were occupied with making the inhabitants here miserable, seemingly for their own amusement. And yet, there was something deeper- something that intrigued me with each conversation I had with them.

You know now that the Animus are composed of separate entities- I learned this several months ago and also noted that some entities were more whole than others. They had lost pieces of themselves, become lost and hurt and confused, and many of the events may well have been them lashing out in confusion and pain. I began to think that if I helped the Animus remember themselves, they might help us instead of mindlessly attacking us. It's with this intent that I summoned Aelia Laelia Crispis.

[A pause. It's painful from here on out.]The summoning succeeded, and she proved to be a great

[aquaticbeauty]

[Ami doesn't show any signs of disapproval nor understanding in the usual ways. She doesn't nod, her expression doesn't shift or contort in any way as the young man continues to tell his side of things.

It made sense. All of it did.

Ami wasn't sure if she should give him her opinion, though. She'd already tried to share her thoughts to several others as of late, and it usually back-fired.]

I...I can appreciate what you were trying to do. [She cast her eyes down, and brought a crooked finger to her chin thoughtfully.]

If anything could be learned from this, it's that we need to stop acting in factions, and be more unified. If not in action, at least in preparation. Would you agree with that assessment?

[knew_anyway]

You don't have to try to spare my feelings. I know that what I did was rash and illogical.

[But he nods after a moment.]

I can agree with that, but I no longer have any power to make it a reality. I will not attempt anything of this nature again while I am here, and I have no doubt that nobody will listen to me anymore.

[genkireaper]

I wish you consulted someone about this beforehand. You could have been warned.

[But eventually, she just sighs before coughing a little. The ferrygirl is tired. To tired to stay angry, as much as part of her wants to yell at both you and Rei.]

What's done is done, and while you're far from forgiveness, you'll just have to work it off. It's going to take a lot to clean things back up.

[The 'working it off' obviously would apply to Rei as well, but she's got you to speak with right now.]

[knew_anyway]

I consulted several people, with several different outcomes. [It's not an argument- he's just gently correcting her. But he's tired to.]

And I am willing to do whatever it takes to help, if anyone will let me.

[genkireaper]

[Sighs. She doesn't want to say it out loud, but Botan did wish that she was one of those people. Having talked to several of the Animus quite a bit, she knew this was a very likely outcome. At least that's what she thought. One of those things where people wish they could have done something to prevent a great tragedy.]

Well, a lot of people aren't in the condition to refuse help right now. It'll probably just be best if you limited it to things that didn't require your 'skills.'

[Summoning, magic, that sort of thing.]

[[No, LJ. Don't rubberband my icons to default- Why must you choose the worst times. D: ]]

[knew_anyway]

I don't intend to use my skills in this place again.

[You know, for animus stuff. Maybe not for the minor spirits.]