...ow ow ow ow ow...
Root canal this morning.
A note, for future reference: Do not get a root canal, particularly on an upper tooth, when you are coming down with a head cold. Apparently the interaction of sinuses and teeth is just synergistically hideous. Both sniffing and blowing my nose produce a sensation not unlike being stabbed right in the bicuspid with a large knife on a two-second delay. Inhaling deeply and bending over are also not recommended.
The procedure itself was surprisingly fast and easy. As for post-operative pain, however... holy crap. HOLY FUCKING CRAP, people! How can something without a nerve hurt this much? And at what point did I receive the head injury that made this seem like a good idea?
I am now going to go swallow as many painkillers as will fit in my mouth, and wait to die.
ETA: The dentist has recommended a combo of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which he says seems to have a better effect than either alone. He also says that the pain should go away in a couple of days -- although when he had his root canal, there was "some residual pain" for about three months afterward. Three. Months. After the procedure is not the time to tell me this, dammit!!