Freedom!
Just deleted that one story I said I would delete, and I feel AWESOME now. Seriously. Good day. Read the new chapter of "Life and Times" (have to go back and reread so that I can review), went shopping with my mom and bought some really cute stuff - which I never do - and some thread for my embroidery project, came home and watched some Buffy/Angel, and now I've deleted that thing.
How is this not a good day in anyone's book?
I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I mean, yes, I deleted the files off my computer yesterday and that was one hell of a relief, but this is more... finite. Everything stressful is gone. Now I can focus on writing stuff I love and enjoy. This includes a lot of things, but I'm not complaining. Quite the opposite.
God, I've been so up lately. I used to be that person who was always sitting around hating something or having something wrong. I don't know if it's the summer-esque weather outside after so much rain, or because I'm sleeping like a normal human being, or because I'm writing and being creative in general, but there's so much sunshine in my life. I just feel good. I'm really positive. There's a lightness in me instead of the heaviness I've equated with my depression - all that is gone.
And plus, got the new Britney album last night. She is seriously amazing. Okay, true story: Britney Spears helped me with my self-actualization.
I know that sounds insane. But I'm being 100% serious here. My life has always had Britney in one form or another. I loved her way back with "...Baby One More Time" when I was like, six or seven or something, I don't really remember, and I listened to her all the time. I got a walkman just so I could listen to her cd. And of course, "Oops!... I Did It Again" was pretty much my introduction to preteen years. Then suddenly, it was uncool to like Britney Spears. Everyone was all "hard rock" this and "rap" that and that fucking Lincoln Park.
So, being insecure and lame, I was like "I'm so not a Britney fan. Ew!" And stopped listening. I think my first bout of depression started around that time... Anyway, I never owned "Britney" because it was like, not cool. I was such a follower. When she became cool again with "In The Zone" I wanted to buy her cd but everyone was all, "you're so not cool enough to listen to Britney Spears. If you listen to her you're a poser" so I didn't get that for... years.
Then, you know, about the time Britney went insane I went to wilderness therapy. See? She and I are connected. Except she doesn't know it, so sucks for me. And there was a staff there who LOVED Britney. Loved her intensely. And I admitted I was a Britney fan for the first time in years. Shortly after i started getting more into the therapy program and working on myself.
And the next year, when "Blackout" came out, I bought that sucker. Almost everyone (except for this one girl Haley who loves Britney more than me) was like "you're so lame for liking her, she's a mess" and I just said "She's stronger than yesterday, bitches!" and had so much fun. Well, no I didn't say that because swearing wasn't allowed at my therapeutic boarding school. But it was something along those lines. When "Circus" was released everyone loved Britney again and they were all "she's so cool."
I just sat there with my full set of Britney albums and was all, "please, I knew that all along."
Britney Spears, I owe you my self-confidence.
How is this not a good day in anyone's book?
I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I mean, yes, I deleted the files off my computer yesterday and that was one hell of a relief, but this is more... finite. Everything stressful is gone. Now I can focus on writing stuff I love and enjoy. This includes a lot of things, but I'm not complaining. Quite the opposite.
God, I've been so up lately. I used to be that person who was always sitting around hating something or having something wrong. I don't know if it's the summer-esque weather outside after so much rain, or because I'm sleeping like a normal human being, or because I'm writing and being creative in general, but there's so much sunshine in my life. I just feel good. I'm really positive. There's a lightness in me instead of the heaviness I've equated with my depression - all that is gone.
And plus, got the new Britney album last night. She is seriously amazing. Okay, true story: Britney Spears helped me with my self-actualization.
I know that sounds insane. But I'm being 100% serious here. My life has always had Britney in one form or another. I loved her way back with "...Baby One More Time" when I was like, six or seven or something, I don't really remember, and I listened to her all the time. I got a walkman just so I could listen to her cd. And of course, "Oops!... I Did It Again" was pretty much my introduction to preteen years. Then suddenly, it was uncool to like Britney Spears. Everyone was all "hard rock" this and "rap" that and that fucking Lincoln Park.
So, being insecure and lame, I was like "I'm so not a Britney fan. Ew!" And stopped listening. I think my first bout of depression started around that time... Anyway, I never owned "Britney" because it was like, not cool. I was such a follower. When she became cool again with "In The Zone" I wanted to buy her cd but everyone was all, "you're so not cool enough to listen to Britney Spears. If you listen to her you're a poser" so I didn't get that for... years.
Then, you know, about the time Britney went insane I went to wilderness therapy. See? She and I are connected. Except she doesn't know it, so sucks for me. And there was a staff there who LOVED Britney. Loved her intensely. And I admitted I was a Britney fan for the first time in years. Shortly after i started getting more into the therapy program and working on myself.
And the next year, when "Blackout" came out, I bought that sucker. Almost everyone (except for this one girl Haley who loves Britney more than me) was like "you're so lame for liking her, she's a mess" and I just said "She's stronger than yesterday, bitches!" and had so much fun. Well, no I didn't say that because swearing wasn't allowed at my therapeutic boarding school. But it was something along those lines. When "Circus" was released everyone loved Britney again and they were all "she's so cool."
I just sat there with my full set of Britney albums and was all, "please, I knew that all along."
Britney Spears, I owe you my self-confidence.