rough week
Well, I think L is reading this--in fact i'm almost sure. And since the way she sounded and acted when we spoke tonight was pretty distant, I assume she's not happy with me being on here again,since the only reason I write here is to cavort with my "Cam Whores". Whatever.
I had wanted us to try to resolve our own problems and come together. I tried real hard to let her know I'm dealing with a really bleak world right now and that her love, the certainty of that love, gives me strength. But I guess all that matters is that I'm writing this all down apparently to get laid by strangers.
Again, whatever.
I'd asked her to hang out with me Sunday when I go to help my mom--not the most exciting thing, but it was a way for us be together and after I helped mom I was kind of hoping we could go to the park or the parkway or, I don't know, something. Instead she's taking her best friend, D,( who I can't fucking stand) to a play we had both read and shared some thoughts about. I get the message. I'll play along.
So, I'll spend what time we can together and I'll keep trying to show her how much she means to me , how much I love her. And we'll see if that's enough.
I can't do anything to fight the fear inside her, that's her fight, but I'm done with being afraid to write here, just to support that fear.
I love her. I miss her and after the week I've had I feel very small inside and very sad.
I had wanted us to try to resolve our own problems and come together. I tried real hard to let her know I'm dealing with a really bleak world right now and that her love, the certainty of that love, gives me strength. But I guess all that matters is that I'm writing this all down apparently to get laid by strangers.
Again, whatever.
I'd asked her to hang out with me Sunday when I go to help my mom--not the most exciting thing, but it was a way for us be together and after I helped mom I was kind of hoping we could go to the park or the parkway or, I don't know, something. Instead she's taking her best friend, D,( who I can't fucking stand) to a play we had both read and shared some thoughts about. I get the message. I'll play along.
So, I'll spend what time we can together and I'll keep trying to show her how much she means to me , how much I love her. And we'll see if that's enough.
I can't do anything to fight the fear inside her, that's her fight, but I'm done with being afraid to write here, just to support that fear.
I love her. I miss her and after the week I've had I feel very small inside and very sad.