It is my Celestial Duty to Spread my Funk Throughout the Universe
Lotsa stuff's been changing in my life recently. The funny part of it is that the changes happened over such a long period, and were so gradual that I didn't even realize that everything was different until... well... everything was different :)
Don't worry though! These are the good kinds of changes!
Looking back, I think it all started when I got my second book published. The process of getting that book done and out was so goddamn stressful. I am considering not going through Ka-Blam again. Their end product always looks great, but having to deal with them and their weird and constantly changing policies and difficult to decipher standards, it can easily set a man on edge. My friend Brain let me know of this other thing I should check out called "Blurb" which sounds promising. Anyway, when it was finally over and done with, I was super pleased with the results, but I had dropped a large investment into it, and had nearly bankrupted myself. I was able to put that aside, because I knew that I'd be making it all back soon enough. What made me even more confident of that was the fact that WonderCon was on the horizon, and what better place to debut a new comic? Granted, I didn't sell many copies there, I actually sold way more copies online than at the con. I was too busy taking the whole thing in. I felt like I was totally in my element there, I hadn't been to a proper comic convention in a year at this point, that, plus my actual love of comics had been recently revamped by being surrounded by them at the Rasputin's book store. So I was totally stoked just to be there, I met a ton of cool people, one really special girl I've been seeing recently, plus I made a lot of good connections, did some networking, sold my books, but above all, I got to spend some real quality time with my friends Erin and Courteney. Courteney's now livin' it up in a college in Japan, so WonderCon was really the last chance I'd have to spend any time with her at all, so Erin and I made sure to take full advantage of that :) It was a blast.
Usually when getting back from a con, I have a little break, and I'm able to come down off my buzz in the natural way. However! I was not afforded this chance! Because the day after the end of WonderCon was the first day of the new quarter at school! Ahh! you'd think that would be a stressful transition, but since I was still coming down off my buzz, I just sorta felt good while re-arranging my schedule around all these new classes. What's even better is that my classes totally rock. A lighter schedule than previous quarters, I needed to take it a little easier this time. I do Tai Chi in the mornings, then Story Boarding and Clothing Design in the evening. During the afternoon I'm getting my time in at the tutorial center, which has also been going very well. I feel like I'm really helping people there! The first quarter I did it, there was almost no action, and it was simply a place to hang out and get homework done while you got paid for it, hot. But actually helping people is good too! I feel more justified putting the Foothill Tutorial Center on my resume when I go out looking for an actual teaching job. The next big development was when my friend John's sister contacted me about designing for her Lovebian clothing company. http://lovebiandesigns.com/main/Lovebian.html
Being part of that is really special to me, for one I really love the philosophy of the company, it feels good to be involved in a good friend's project, plus I'm really happy to find an avenue for my art to be useful, and also to be seen.
On top of all of this, I've been making some really excellent progress in therapy.
I hate to put it in terms that seem as trivial as this, but that whole thing kinda began with a fortune cookie message. I don't know why, but I've always taken those things very seriously. It always seems like they give me advice that I really need to hear, or are able to predict something really, really accurately. This particular one said "while you hold a grudge, everyone else is out dancing." and it did not take me much guessing to figure out what it was supposed to mean. I've been holding a grudge against Avalon for 8 years, against Kirsty for 3 years and against Caitlin for a year. Why? Why was I still mad? I seriously asked myself this question and had no answer to give myself. I was mad simply because I had grown used to being mad, and that's no way to be, I realize that now. It was almost effortless, but almost all in one week, I managed to simply drop the animosity I'd held against them for all these years, then re-initiate contact in a way that minimized awkwardness (thanks facebook) and ever since, I've felt so much lighter. I'm not sure who the heck I did it, but I just... stopped caring. Not in a lame, apathetic way, not like "i dun care... s'all bullshit anyway... pffft!" no, it's not like that at all. It just feels good, it feels good to not have to carry that around anymore, see it for what it is, and not have to go through the pathetic motion of "being angry." I wish I could have realized all this years and years ago, it might have saved me a lot of heartache, but whatever, I got there eventually.
I figured this kinda thing was important to deal with, since I've been chillin' with Roxy (the gal from Wondercon) I felt it important to deal with this old crap before going off on something new. We've been having fun, we saw MC Frontalot, we saw KickAss, we saw Iron Man! :D After seeing it, I was struck by inspiration! There's finally a character I can cosplay as without severely altering my appearance, Ivan! He even kinda has my name. I told Roxy my idea and she got almost as excited as I was :P She's a great cosplayer, and I will need her help to make this costume as awesome as I'm seeing it in my head.
But yeah, in these ways, it's been super fun hanging with and getting to know Roxy. I got a good feelin', but it's a cautious kinda optimism, "gun shy" as Roxy words it :P. We're both grown-ass adults, but we also obviously both have pasts :P It'd be a damn shame if we weren't trying to learn from them.
So on top of all this, I've been making tons of new friends at school. Ian, one of my oldest and bestest friends in the world is about to be married and I'M his best man! :D Another one of my oldest and best friends, Vickie, just gave birth to her son! She grew me a little friend and I couldn't be happier for her. I'm gonna lead an expedition up to go see her in the summer and become introduced to little Gabe :) My OTHER best friend John is finally gotta grab the goddamn reigns of life and go to culinary school like he's been wanting to do for years. I've been really disciplined in my martial arts, Tai Chi and Hung Gar, and I'm actually improving in the sets that I know. I'm actually starting to lose weight again, after the holidays made it so difficult for me :P School is going super well, but despite that, I'm getting to spend the time with my friends that I want. There's just a jillion reasons for me to happy all piled into my lap, I can barely manage my way through them, like a massive stack of pancakes! They're so delicious, and yet, you're not quite sure where to start.
This is such a stark contrast to how I was, no more than a year ago, when I felt more lost than I'd ever been and I had no clue where I was going, or how I was getting there.
Because I have this incessant need to always illustrate my points, please direct your attention to the visual aid.
Fig A: Totally not stolen from Silent Hill
Fig B: A dog dressed as Spider-Man. wait... wrong caption.
Three years ago, the path of my life took a steep drop, too steep for me to continue. I sat there staring at the cliff for a long time, wondering, thinking, how was I gonna get to the other side? The other side, where my supposed happiness lay? I sat there and contemplated this, never getting any closer to an answer. Now, just recently, I've realized there is a hillside, a detour right next to me. Maybe I don't necessarily need to be on that path anymore. Just because I thought that's where my happiness lay 3 years ago, doesn't mean that that's where it is anymore, especially since I let it sit there for so long. Now I'm up in the hills, in the trees and the tall grass, moving forward, moving on, discovering new paths or forging my own.
The time is right, all this cool shit is happening for a reason, or at least I have a good feeling it's for a reason, because I got another fortune cookie last week, and the fortune inside literally said "Your hard work is about to pay off. Congratulations!"
Thank you cookie! you're never wrong, and you're just so sweet ^_^
Don't worry though! These are the good kinds of changes!
Looking back, I think it all started when I got my second book published. The process of getting that book done and out was so goddamn stressful. I am considering not going through Ka-Blam again. Their end product always looks great, but having to deal with them and their weird and constantly changing policies and difficult to decipher standards, it can easily set a man on edge. My friend Brain let me know of this other thing I should check out called "Blurb" which sounds promising. Anyway, when it was finally over and done with, I was super pleased with the results, but I had dropped a large investment into it, and had nearly bankrupted myself. I was able to put that aside, because I knew that I'd be making it all back soon enough. What made me even more confident of that was the fact that WonderCon was on the horizon, and what better place to debut a new comic? Granted, I didn't sell many copies there, I actually sold way more copies online than at the con. I was too busy taking the whole thing in. I felt like I was totally in my element there, I hadn't been to a proper comic convention in a year at this point, that, plus my actual love of comics had been recently revamped by being surrounded by them at the Rasputin's book store. So I was totally stoked just to be there, I met a ton of cool people, one really special girl I've been seeing recently, plus I made a lot of good connections, did some networking, sold my books, but above all, I got to spend some real quality time with my friends Erin and Courteney. Courteney's now livin' it up in a college in Japan, so WonderCon was really the last chance I'd have to spend any time with her at all, so Erin and I made sure to take full advantage of that :) It was a blast.
Usually when getting back from a con, I have a little break, and I'm able to come down off my buzz in the natural way. However! I was not afforded this chance! Because the day after the end of WonderCon was the first day of the new quarter at school! Ahh! you'd think that would be a stressful transition, but since I was still coming down off my buzz, I just sorta felt good while re-arranging my schedule around all these new classes. What's even better is that my classes totally rock. A lighter schedule than previous quarters, I needed to take it a little easier this time. I do Tai Chi in the mornings, then Story Boarding and Clothing Design in the evening. During the afternoon I'm getting my time in at the tutorial center, which has also been going very well. I feel like I'm really helping people there! The first quarter I did it, there was almost no action, and it was simply a place to hang out and get homework done while you got paid for it, hot. But actually helping people is good too! I feel more justified putting the Foothill Tutorial Center on my resume when I go out looking for an actual teaching job. The next big development was when my friend John's sister contacted me about designing for her Lovebian clothing company. http://lovebiandesigns.com/main/Lovebian.html
Being part of that is really special to me, for one I really love the philosophy of the company, it feels good to be involved in a good friend's project, plus I'm really happy to find an avenue for my art to be useful, and also to be seen.
On top of all of this, I've been making some really excellent progress in therapy.
I hate to put it in terms that seem as trivial as this, but that whole thing kinda began with a fortune cookie message. I don't know why, but I've always taken those things very seriously. It always seems like they give me advice that I really need to hear, or are able to predict something really, really accurately. This particular one said "while you hold a grudge, everyone else is out dancing." and it did not take me much guessing to figure out what it was supposed to mean. I've been holding a grudge against Avalon for 8 years, against Kirsty for 3 years and against Caitlin for a year. Why? Why was I still mad? I seriously asked myself this question and had no answer to give myself. I was mad simply because I had grown used to being mad, and that's no way to be, I realize that now. It was almost effortless, but almost all in one week, I managed to simply drop the animosity I'd held against them for all these years, then re-initiate contact in a way that minimized awkwardness (thanks facebook) and ever since, I've felt so much lighter. I'm not sure who the heck I did it, but I just... stopped caring. Not in a lame, apathetic way, not like "i dun care... s'all bullshit anyway... pffft!" no, it's not like that at all. It just feels good, it feels good to not have to carry that around anymore, see it for what it is, and not have to go through the pathetic motion of "being angry." I wish I could have realized all this years and years ago, it might have saved me a lot of heartache, but whatever, I got there eventually.
I figured this kinda thing was important to deal with, since I've been chillin' with Roxy (the gal from Wondercon) I felt it important to deal with this old crap before going off on something new. We've been having fun, we saw MC Frontalot, we saw KickAss, we saw Iron Man! :D After seeing it, I was struck by inspiration! There's finally a character I can cosplay as without severely altering my appearance, Ivan! He even kinda has my name. I told Roxy my idea and she got almost as excited as I was :P She's a great cosplayer, and I will need her help to make this costume as awesome as I'm seeing it in my head.
But yeah, in these ways, it's been super fun hanging with and getting to know Roxy. I got a good feelin', but it's a cautious kinda optimism, "gun shy" as Roxy words it :P. We're both grown-ass adults, but we also obviously both have pasts :P It'd be a damn shame if we weren't trying to learn from them.
So on top of all this, I've been making tons of new friends at school. Ian, one of my oldest and bestest friends in the world is about to be married and I'M his best man! :D Another one of my oldest and best friends, Vickie, just gave birth to her son! She grew me a little friend and I couldn't be happier for her. I'm gonna lead an expedition up to go see her in the summer and become introduced to little Gabe :) My OTHER best friend John is finally gotta grab the goddamn reigns of life and go to culinary school like he's been wanting to do for years. I've been really disciplined in my martial arts, Tai Chi and Hung Gar, and I'm actually improving in the sets that I know. I'm actually starting to lose weight again, after the holidays made it so difficult for me :P School is going super well, but despite that, I'm getting to spend the time with my friends that I want. There's just a jillion reasons for me to happy all piled into my lap, I can barely manage my way through them, like a massive stack of pancakes! They're so delicious, and yet, you're not quite sure where to start.
This is such a stark contrast to how I was, no more than a year ago, when I felt more lost than I'd ever been and I had no clue where I was going, or how I was getting there.
Because I have this incessant need to always illustrate my points, please direct your attention to the visual aid.
Fig A: Totally not stolen from Silent Hill
Fig B: A dog dressed as Spider-Man. wait... wrong caption.
Three years ago, the path of my life took a steep drop, too steep for me to continue. I sat there staring at the cliff for a long time, wondering, thinking, how was I gonna get to the other side? The other side, where my supposed happiness lay? I sat there and contemplated this, never getting any closer to an answer. Now, just recently, I've realized there is a hillside, a detour right next to me. Maybe I don't necessarily need to be on that path anymore. Just because I thought that's where my happiness lay 3 years ago, doesn't mean that that's where it is anymore, especially since I let it sit there for so long. Now I'm up in the hills, in the trees and the tall grass, moving forward, moving on, discovering new paths or forging my own.
The time is right, all this cool shit is happening for a reason, or at least I have a good feeling it's for a reason, because I got another fortune cookie last week, and the fortune inside literally said "Your hard work is about to pay off. Congratulations!"
Thank you cookie! you're never wrong, and you're just so sweet ^_^