I just went through and skimmed some of your more recent posts. I have some experience with anti-depressants and I can give you some insight. I don't like Paxil. Don't like it one bit. It will make you gain weight and the side effects from weaning off of it are just ridiculous, as you well know. My dad tried Paxil for a while and HATED it. He said it made him so lethargic that he didn't have any motivation to do anything - and he really didn't care to. Weaning off of it was also difficult for him. I've seen several friends go through trying Paxil and they all hated it. I've used Prozac and I'm currently on Wellbutrin. I have a real problem with anxiety and compulsive behavior. I know all too well what the hell of "obsessive thoughts" is like. When I'm in a rough patch, I have all these horrible thoughts of something happening to my kids or something happening to me and my kids not having a mother and being fucked up from losing their mother at an early age. Things that don't make any sense at all, but I can't stop thinking about them. I'm sure you know from experiece that you will get through it, it's just the getting there that sucks. Have you given any thought to trying another anti-depressant? I was pleased with the anti-depression effect of Wellbutrin, but it's not doing much to control compulsive behavior and it really does nothing for my anxiety. I am going to switch back to Prozac because it really helped to even me out. When I'm not on the right drug or on nothing at all, I can be damn near impossible to live with. I fly off the handle at the tiniest things, I get weepy at the drop of a hat and I'm basically a roller coaster mess. I decided to try the Wellbutrin because of the *one* negative side effect of Prozac for me - (sorry if this is TMI) it made it difficult for me to reach orgasm. It didn't make it impossible, it just took a little more work. The Wellbutrin has not presented me with this problem thus far (I've been on Wellbutrin since last November), but I think the benefits of Prozac far outweigh the few drawbacks of Prozac.
Not all SSRIs are the same. And Wellbutrin is not even an SSRI. It's a SDRI, if affects dopamine levels instead of seratonin. But if you have a problem with obesessive thoughts of compulsive behavior or anxiety, I think you really need to focus on your seratonin absorption instead of your dopamine absorption. Wellbutrin is great for someone who only has depression to deal with. It's not so handy for those of us with the obsessive-compulsive and downright neurotic behavior.
I used to have a real problem dealing with the fact that I had to take medication. But then I saw how much good it did for me and I took a good look at my family history and saw a very long line of various mental illnesses, mostly bipolar disorder and a few schitzophrenics here and there and addicts EVERYWHERE, and I realized that whether I like it or not, I have a screwed up brain, thanks to my genes. The sooner you treat it and stop fighting it, the better off you'll be. Not to say that you neccessarily need to "accept your fate". A lot of people use Prozac to help them cope with a particularly stressful time in their lives because prolonged stress absolutely does have an effect on your brain's absorption of seratonin.
Anyway, sorry this got so long. It's just something I've dealt with for almost ten years now. I started out on Ritalin when I was seventeen. Heh...Prozac does a lot more for me than Ritalin ever did. And I tried the methamphetamines and cocaine route, but surprisingly enough that didn't work! Sorry if I'm butting in too much, I just wanted to relate my experience and let you know from a person who has been down the road you're on right now more times than she cares to think about, that you'll be alright and it will get better. I know you know this, but sometimes hearing it from an outside source is helpful.
I just wanted to say thanks for a wonderful reply. There is no such thing as TMI here ;-)
I'm still suffering the effects of both Paxil withdrawal and the deamons for which I started taking Paxil. I'm hoping to treat myself with exercise. I really hope that works out for me. If not, I'll seek out other options.
Ever known anyone to kick obsessive thoughts with theorapy alone?
Re: Thanks.christine9600October 10 2004, 18:21:17 UTC
You're welcome. Like I said, I've spent a few years dealing with all of it, so I thought I'd pass along some of the things I've learned.
I've not known anyone who has kicked obsessive thoughts/compulsive behavior with therapy alone, but then I only know of a very few people who live with it. I do believe that it is totally possibe to do it with therapy, eating very healthy and exercise. I think a lot of obsessive thought patterns and compulsive behavior can be broken through simple behavior modification. I believe that a lot of those behaviors are triggered by outside stresses. I know that when I'm extremely stressed about money or my kids or from talking to my mother, I will start to go down that road. I think it's a form of escaping from the real issues. For instance, I have a lot of guilt and anxiety regarding my daughters because they do not live with me and I only see them every other weekend and in the Summer. Intellectually I know letting them live with their dad is the very best thing for them and was critical to their wellbeing when we divorced because I was very fucked up, to say the least. If I get too caught up in that guilt or beating myself up, that's when the weird, awful thoughts of something horrible happening to them start to take over. I think I focus on something that in all likelyhood will never happen so that I don't have to deal with my own guilt. You see what I'm saying here? For so long I avoided that guilt because I didn't want to see just how fucked up I was when their dad and I divorced and I didn't want to see what kind of damage I could have inflicted on them, so I worried about terrible things that I knew would never happen to somehow pay a pennance for fucking up motherhood. I think a lot of obsessive thoughts are distractions thrown up by your subconscious because you don't feel like you're ready to tackle the *real* issues at hand. More than likely you really are ready, but part of you is scared to death because there is some really scary shit there that you've managed to avoid for a very long time.
Heh...Or not! I just know that this is the case for me. I obsess over really odd, terrible things, or I obsess over having an *exact* method of doing EVERYTHING. I mean I have a system for how I shower, how I eat, how I walk, everything. And when I'm stressed about money or if Thomas and I are having a real disagreement or whatever, I'll get VERY caught up in doing those things. I really do believe it's a means of distraction. I don't want to think about the money or I don't want to think about my role in the argument with my husband so I occupy myself with either very bad thoughts or weird little routines that I *must* perform or else. If I don't go through my little routines, don't shower the exact way I'm "supposed to", don't start off walking on my left foot EVERY time, I will get extremely agitated. Obsessive thought and compulsive behavior is NOT fun. Medication has done a lot for me in helping me break a lot of the patterns that send me into that spiral, but medication may not be a neccessity for you. If you are able to control it with therapy, then go for it! See how it goes, talk to your therapist and make sure he/she understands that you would like to try other methods outside of medication to control the obsessive thoughts. Side note, I think a lot of what we're talking about here is Seratonin related and if you're increasing your exercise, getting good sleep and eating right, your Seratonin levels will increase naturally, thus negating the need for an SSRI. Hell, I need to try this. You would think I would have figured this out for myself by now, but nooooo! I'm too busy thinking about how many times I chew on each side and the order in which my clothes are hung in my closet and making sure I wash my face LAST in the shower to figure this out for myself. HA!
Either way, good luck with it and I really hope you're able to get some relief soon. I know all too well how miserable living with those obsessive thoughts can be.
Not all SSRIs are the same. And Wellbutrin is not even an SSRI. It's a SDRI, if affects dopamine levels instead of seratonin. But if you have a problem with obesessive thoughts of compulsive behavior or anxiety, I think you really need to focus on your seratonin absorption instead of your dopamine absorption. Wellbutrin is great for someone who only has depression to deal with. It's not so handy for those of us with the obsessive-compulsive and downright neurotic behavior.
I used to have a real problem dealing with the fact that I had to take medication. But then I saw how much good it did for me and I took a good look at my family history and saw a very long line of various mental illnesses, mostly bipolar disorder and a few schitzophrenics here and there and addicts EVERYWHERE, and I realized that whether I like it or not, I have a screwed up brain, thanks to my genes. The sooner you treat it and stop fighting it, the better off you'll be. Not to say that you neccessarily need to "accept your fate". A lot of people use Prozac to help them cope with a particularly stressful time in their lives because prolonged stress absolutely does have an effect on your brain's absorption of seratonin.
Anyway, sorry this got so long. It's just something I've dealt with for almost ten years now. I started out on Ritalin when I was seventeen. Heh...Prozac does a lot more for me than Ritalin ever did. And I tried the methamphetamines and cocaine route, but surprisingly enough that didn't work! Sorry if I'm butting in too much, I just wanted to relate my experience and let you know from a person who has been down the road you're on right now more times than she cares to think about, that you'll be alright and it will get better. I know you know this, but sometimes hearing it from an outside source is helpful.
Ok, I'm shutting up now. ;-)
Reply
I'm still suffering the effects of both Paxil withdrawal and the deamons for which I started taking Paxil. I'm hoping to treat myself with exercise. I really hope that works out for me. If not, I'll seek out other options.
Ever known anyone to kick obsessive thoughts with theorapy alone?
Reply
I've not known anyone who has kicked obsessive thoughts/compulsive behavior with therapy alone, but then I only know of a very few people who live with it. I do believe that it is totally possibe to do it with therapy, eating very healthy and exercise. I think a lot of obsessive thought patterns and compulsive behavior can be broken through simple behavior modification. I believe that a lot of those behaviors are triggered by outside stresses. I know that when I'm extremely stressed about money or my kids or from talking to my mother, I will start to go down that road. I think it's a form of escaping from the real issues. For instance, I have a lot of guilt and anxiety regarding my daughters because they do not live with me and I only see them every other weekend and in the Summer. Intellectually I know letting them live with their dad is the very best thing for them and was critical to their wellbeing when we divorced because I was very fucked up, to say the least. If I get too caught up in that guilt or beating myself up, that's when the weird, awful thoughts of something horrible happening to them start to take over. I think I focus on something that in all likelyhood will never happen so that I don't have to deal with my own guilt. You see what I'm saying here? For so long I avoided that guilt because I didn't want to see just how fucked up I was when their dad and I divorced and I didn't want to see what kind of damage I could have inflicted on them, so I worried about terrible things that I knew would never happen to somehow pay a pennance for fucking up motherhood. I think a lot of obsessive thoughts are distractions thrown up by your subconscious because you don't feel like you're ready to tackle the *real* issues at hand. More than likely you really are ready, but part of you is scared to death because there is some really scary shit there that you've managed to avoid for a very long time.
Heh...Or not! I just know that this is the case for me. I obsess over really odd, terrible things, or I obsess over having an *exact* method of doing EVERYTHING. I mean I have a system for how I shower, how I eat, how I walk, everything. And when I'm stressed about money or if Thomas and I are having a real disagreement or whatever, I'll get VERY caught up in doing those things. I really do believe it's a means of distraction. I don't want to think about the money or I don't want to think about my role in the argument with my husband so I occupy myself with either very bad thoughts or weird little routines that I *must* perform or else. If I don't go through my little routines, don't shower the exact way I'm "supposed to", don't start off walking on my left foot EVERY time, I will get extremely agitated. Obsessive thought and compulsive behavior is NOT fun. Medication has done a lot for me in helping me break a lot of the patterns that send me into that spiral, but medication may not be a neccessity for you. If you are able to control it with therapy, then go for it! See how it goes, talk to your therapist and make sure he/she understands that you would like to try other methods outside of medication to control the obsessive thoughts. Side note, I think a lot of what we're talking about here is Seratonin related and if you're increasing your exercise, getting good sleep and eating right, your Seratonin levels will increase naturally, thus negating the need for an SSRI. Hell, I need to try this. You would think I would have figured this out for myself by now, but nooooo! I'm too busy thinking about how many times I chew on each side and the order in which my clothes are hung in my closet and making sure I wash my face LAST in the shower to figure this out for myself. HA!
Either way, good luck with it and I really hope you're able to get some relief soon. I know all too well how miserable living with those obsessive thoughts can be.
Reply
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