How do I choose my friends?
I've been thinking lately about some friends. People who were once close buds, but now seem more like strangers. I go home to Chicagoland and have the opportunity to see them, but really don't feel like bothering anymore. I'm finding that as I grow, I'm just growing apart from a lot of these people, and I can't help but wonder what our friendships were built on.
What I've found is obvious but surprising.
A lot of those I considered my friends simply had one big, shallow common interest with me. In many cases, that was a rooting interest in certain teams (usually the Cubs). In other cases, it was sharing mutual friends, and default "friendships" were just assumed. But in retrospect, the threads weren't as tightly woven as I thought.
I was in a different place, obviously, when I made a lot of these friends. I was younger and had different priorities. Things made me tick then that have little effect on me now, and vice versa. And sometimes my character assessment seemed to run as deep as this: So-and-so takes the same classes as me, roots for the same teams, and/or lives nearby; therefore, friendship material is there.
Thing is, I'm not condemning these friendships; by no means. I'm just putting them in perspective. I wish I'd been more open-minded about the types of people who could be good friends. And I wish I'd have recognized the limitations of the friendships I had.
What strikes me as particularly cool is that despite my obtuseness, I've still somehow managed to find a few great pals along the way. They're scattered to all ends of the country now, and we don't get to catch up very consistently anymore. But they're the best, and I hope they know that.
End of post.
What I've found is obvious but surprising.
A lot of those I considered my friends simply had one big, shallow common interest with me. In many cases, that was a rooting interest in certain teams (usually the Cubs). In other cases, it was sharing mutual friends, and default "friendships" were just assumed. But in retrospect, the threads weren't as tightly woven as I thought.
I was in a different place, obviously, when I made a lot of these friends. I was younger and had different priorities. Things made me tick then that have little effect on me now, and vice versa. And sometimes my character assessment seemed to run as deep as this: So-and-so takes the same classes as me, roots for the same teams, and/or lives nearby; therefore, friendship material is there.
Thing is, I'm not condemning these friendships; by no means. I'm just putting them in perspective. I wish I'd been more open-minded about the types of people who could be good friends. And I wish I'd have recognized the limitations of the friendships I had.
What strikes me as particularly cool is that despite my obtuseness, I've still somehow managed to find a few great pals along the way. They're scattered to all ends of the country now, and we don't get to catch up very consistently anymore. But they're the best, and I hope they know that.
End of post.