Emotional...
Today for some reason i have been really really emotional. I'm not sure why? Everything people say gets to me and i dont know why. I could be just sitting here and feel like crying. I think though that i've gotten pretty good at putting up a front. Not letting people know how i feel or what's really happening on the inside. I'm sure if someone knew me enough they would be able to see it in my eyes. I dont know though if anyone around here can yet. I think Jenny can. She usually comes in here and notices if something is bothering me. Like tonight i know they were kidding when they sad i was cheating and being funny but for some odd reason i felt like crying. I felt hurt. STUPID... i know but i can't help it. *sinffle* I just wish i could pinpoint what is causing this. hopefully a good night's sleep with get rid of it. I should be out there enjoying this christmas party but i can't, i can't do it and i dont know why. It's driving me nuts.
Well as we all know tomorrow is my last day of classes. I'm so excited. I have a paper left and four finals to do. Shouldn't be too hard. This semester went by really quick but i made really really good friends. I love my roommate to death. Me and her balance eachother out. Better than i could have ever expected. Also i made the bestest friend in the whole world.. JENNY!! I think part of it is she reminds me of my sister. Which makes me happy. She makes me feel special. I feel comfortable around her. I dont feel like i have to impress her with anything. She loves me the way i am. I guess that's what a true friend is. Someone who you can be completely comfortable with. Someone you can tell anything to. I've also made a few other friends. I still remember though the first few weeks of college. I didn't want to be here i just wanted to go home. I still want to go home but im okay with being here too.
Well this:( I miss him so much. (UGGGHHHH now i feel like crying again) I do miss him much. I guess probably because he was my only grandpa and i love him so much. I've never lost anyone so close to me before and it's still hard for me to think and talk about. It probably will be for the rest of my life. But seeming this is the first christmas without him it will be tougher. I wonder if it will be a hard christmas for anyone else in my family. There probably wont be anyone that will show it but i wonder if you can see it in their eyes...?
Well i guess i've done enough rambling for now. I'm going to go now... maybe lay down or go back to the party...
Well as we all know tomorrow is my last day of classes. I'm so excited. I have a paper left and four finals to do. Shouldn't be too hard. This semester went by really quick but i made really really good friends. I love my roommate to death. Me and her balance eachother out. Better than i could have ever expected. Also i made the bestest friend in the whole world.. JENNY!! I think part of it is she reminds me of my sister. Which makes me happy. She makes me feel special. I feel comfortable around her. I dont feel like i have to impress her with anything. She loves me the way i am. I guess that's what a true friend is. Someone who you can be completely comfortable with. Someone you can tell anything to. I've also made a few other friends. I still remember though the first few weeks of college. I didn't want to be here i just wanted to go home. I still want to go home but im okay with being here too.
Well this:( I miss him so much. (UGGGHHHH now i feel like crying again) I do miss him much. I guess probably because he was my only grandpa and i love him so much. I've never lost anyone so close to me before and it's still hard for me to think and talk about. It probably will be for the rest of my life. But seeming this is the first christmas without him it will be tougher. I wonder if it will be a hard christmas for anyone else in my family. There probably wont be anyone that will show it but i wonder if you can see it in their eyes...?
Well i guess i've done enough rambling for now. I'm going to go now... maybe lay down or go back to the party...