(no subject)
"they invented love alright but they still cant make the right plastic or metal or whatever to hold it all in so it just keeps leaking(insert water sounds) all over everything(insert everything) dripping and splashing/making music gives me an ear infection. now my equilibrium's fucked so im holding onto the railing all the way down and im asking for your shoulder on the way up if you help me when im frightened ill help you when youre drunk promise you know nothing and youre someone i can trust nevermind hot DEATH on our heels but never forget it either."
there really is no such thing as love, its becoming more clear to me every single day now. every person is a walking contradiction. theyre all so smug and judgmental, LOOK at yourself, because YOU ARE EXACTLY THE PERSON YOU HATE. thats why you hate them you know, because you see your faults in them. if everyone would stop being so ridiculously vain and hopeful for their version of the American Dream people would be more beautiful. not going to happen. when i went to madison to teach the 6th graders cpr, a little girl asked me why i was sad, and i thought for some reason that i should be unforgivingly honest to her and tell her that i was sad because people are assholes, then she said this: youre a person, does that make you an asshole? fucking wow, i was embarrassed by her innocence. all this time i thought i was so untouched and pure when the truth is, i am a person. i have the capability of hurting every and any thing that comes in contact with me. oh and i never fail to either. i guess thats why i make the self destructing choices that i do. i cant really blame my parents or my teachrs or anyone else for that matter. when it comes down to it, I AM TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH ELIZABETH. its all my fault. FUCK sympathy, sympathy is one big fat lie, don't let others pity you because theyre doing it to feel better about themselves.
i will never fall in love with someone because i am exactly everything i described and to be frank, im probably not going to change. i honestly think that no man could ever handle what a little shit i am. I feel i have to say this because i believe that SOMEONE (bestfriend) thinks that im cold blooded and heartless, but im not. i just know that ill hurt that person, well obviously.
for now, ill put on my happy face and ill sway with the wind of society, but all youlittle fuckers should be very aware that i have a really fucked up head and im forever plotting how to seize the world. muhahahahahahahaha. no but really, i miss drew.
there really is no such thing as love, its becoming more clear to me every single day now. every person is a walking contradiction. theyre all so smug and judgmental, LOOK at yourself, because YOU ARE EXACTLY THE PERSON YOU HATE. thats why you hate them you know, because you see your faults in them. if everyone would stop being so ridiculously vain and hopeful for their version of the American Dream people would be more beautiful. not going to happen. when i went to madison to teach the 6th graders cpr, a little girl asked me why i was sad, and i thought for some reason that i should be unforgivingly honest to her and tell her that i was sad because people are assholes, then she said this: youre a person, does that make you an asshole? fucking wow, i was embarrassed by her innocence. all this time i thought i was so untouched and pure when the truth is, i am a person. i have the capability of hurting every and any thing that comes in contact with me. oh and i never fail to either. i guess thats why i make the self destructing choices that i do. i cant really blame my parents or my teachrs or anyone else for that matter. when it comes down to it, I AM TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH ELIZABETH. its all my fault. FUCK sympathy, sympathy is one big fat lie, don't let others pity you because theyre doing it to feel better about themselves.
i will never fall in love with someone because i am exactly everything i described and to be frank, im probably not going to change. i honestly think that no man could ever handle what a little shit i am. I feel i have to say this because i believe that SOMEONE (bestfriend) thinks that im cold blooded and heartless, but im not. i just know that ill hurt that person, well obviously.
for now, ill put on my happy face and ill sway with the wind of society, but all youlittle fuckers should be very aware that i have a really fucked up head and im forever plotting how to seize the world. muhahahahahahahaha. no but really, i miss drew.