look closer
last night i pondered, as i do from time to time (ponder is such a great word btw...) and i came to the conclusion that the current state of my room describes me completely. and what is the current state of my room you might ask? well, it can best be said as cluttered. this is its natural state unless important company such as the parents arrive for a visit.
i love looking around my room because there's a story in the mess and how it came to be. for instance by the ledge of my window lies a mass of handouts, research notes frantically scribbled upon, and an old new york times from april 10th. this was the story of my life last week which revolved around writing a indepth research paper about the european union.
i have random pieces of jewelry laying upon this ledge as well. this may be why i can never find matches to earrings in my jewelry box! they tell the story of many fun weekends uptown or days when like dressing up and being confident. two jewelry items on my ledge have particular significance to me and are my only so-called "lucky items." they aren't lucky because they bring me fortune but lucky in the sense that they are from important people in my life and have been through many things with me. i guess you could say they represent a combination of the person who gave it to me as well as myself.
my first "lucky" item is a gold necklace that i received from my mom for christmas about twelve years ago. on the chain is a small gold charm with three small diamonds that represent flowers. these diamonds were from my mother's first wedding ring that she decided to take apart when she divorced my dad. the present was bittersweet for me because the dissembling of the ring represented the death of her marriage and a life that i had known for nine years. not to mention, it showed her reluctance to have anything [material wise] associated with my dad in her life.
it is interesting to look at the charm because of its emotional and symbolic significance. to me the three diamonds represent three things: my dad, my mom, and myself. at one point the stems of each of the flowers converge but later branch out just as out lives have done. one of the flowers does not branch out much at all (symbolizing my dad) and one grows higher than the rest (symbolizing myself).
my second "lucky" item is a pair of gold hoop earrings given to me by my aunt joye for my sixteenth birthday. while these do not have the emotional weight or the symbolism of the necklace, they do represent a comfort to me. i used wear them everyday but not as much anymore since i came to college. they are simple and practical just like me. the earrings and i share an interesting history because they love to disappear from me for a great period of time and then re-emerge. for instance, i lost them in my room for about four months during my freshman year and accidentally stumbled upon them just as i was finishing moving out of wells for the summer. one time i found them carefully tucked into my pillowcase. also, i almost forgot them in my bed at villa saint exupery in nice, but in a rare light bulb moment as i was just about to turn in my key, remembered that if had left them there the night before. i think i was still frustrated about that whole fabrizo incident, lol. oh brazilians.
well this is summing up to be a lengthy entry but as you can see there's a story behind everything in my clutter and that story is me. not perfect, not neat, not a mess or a complete wreck but somewhere in between.
i love looking around my room because there's a story in the mess and how it came to be. for instance by the ledge of my window lies a mass of handouts, research notes frantically scribbled upon, and an old new york times from april 10th. this was the story of my life last week which revolved around writing a indepth research paper about the european union.
i have random pieces of jewelry laying upon this ledge as well. this may be why i can never find matches to earrings in my jewelry box! they tell the story of many fun weekends uptown or days when like dressing up and being confident. two jewelry items on my ledge have particular significance to me and are my only so-called "lucky items." they aren't lucky because they bring me fortune but lucky in the sense that they are from important people in my life and have been through many things with me. i guess you could say they represent a combination of the person who gave it to me as well as myself.
my first "lucky" item is a gold necklace that i received from my mom for christmas about twelve years ago. on the chain is a small gold charm with three small diamonds that represent flowers. these diamonds were from my mother's first wedding ring that she decided to take apart when she divorced my dad. the present was bittersweet for me because the dissembling of the ring represented the death of her marriage and a life that i had known for nine years. not to mention, it showed her reluctance to have anything [material wise] associated with my dad in her life.
it is interesting to look at the charm because of its emotional and symbolic significance. to me the three diamonds represent three things: my dad, my mom, and myself. at one point the stems of each of the flowers converge but later branch out just as out lives have done. one of the flowers does not branch out much at all (symbolizing my dad) and one grows higher than the rest (symbolizing myself).
my second "lucky" item is a pair of gold hoop earrings given to me by my aunt joye for my sixteenth birthday. while these do not have the emotional weight or the symbolism of the necklace, they do represent a comfort to me. i used wear them everyday but not as much anymore since i came to college. they are simple and practical just like me. the earrings and i share an interesting history because they love to disappear from me for a great period of time and then re-emerge. for instance, i lost them in my room for about four months during my freshman year and accidentally stumbled upon them just as i was finishing moving out of wells for the summer. one time i found them carefully tucked into my pillowcase. also, i almost forgot them in my bed at villa saint exupery in nice, but in a rare light bulb moment as i was just about to turn in my key, remembered that if had left them there the night before. i think i was still frustrated about that whole fabrizo incident, lol. oh brazilians.
well this is summing up to be a lengthy entry but as you can see there's a story behind everything in my clutter and that story is me. not perfect, not neat, not a mess or a complete wreck but somewhere in between.