Just what I needed
Life can definately hand you lemons. Sometimes though, if you wait long enough it will also hand you a packet of sugar. Note I said packet so its a sign that you have to keep your eyes open for the little things, cherish them and make them last.
I got my sugar today. As I was walking to work from class I see Jonathan. Oddly enough I had been thinking about that all throughout class. I was thinking, "I know he is in class, I wish I would somehow run into him" And I thought about the last time I saw him. The way we just stood on the side of the road, neither one of us really wanting to leave but neither one of us able to do anything either. I thought about all the things I wish I would have said or done. But now that I think about it, I really wouldnt change any of it. I could never justify being pushy. I can however live with being patient. If patience will bring me to the arms of the man I love then I have all of the patience in the world. Yes that is sappy but its the truth. Love makes bitches crazy.
I thought that he had been ignoring me. I had tried to call him a couple of times. He didnt amswer nor did he call me back. SO I decided to take the plunge and send an email spilling the naked truth. I still have not recieved a response. So I asked him if he got it and he said no...his computer is broken. Honestly is my life a cheesey love story...a lifetime movie or one of those frusterating movies where you continually watch the two people miss each other due to all the unfortunate coincidences. I just hope this cheesey love story has a happy ending.
So we talked a little. We are going to get together after maymester when things calm down for him a little bit. I guess now if I have something to worry about it will be his reaction to the email I wrote him the other day and if he will actually call me. I choose to have faith in him though and I am going to do my best not to thinkg about him or any of it.
So if fate exists was this a sign. I was really starting to freak out. I had irrational thoughts that I should just go over to his place and make him talk to me, which of course is NOTHING like anything I would normally do. But I thought, shit, if it worked for Carrie Bradshaw maybe it would for me too haha. Maybe this is a sign for me to chill because as most things, this will somehow work out too. And the way he smiled at me, and looked at me like he knows me. That is the best when someone looks at you and they have this look on their face that shouts..."I KNOW YOU INSIDE AND OUT AND ALL I CAN DO IS SMILE" and he does.
I would like to beleve there is a reason why I am so hung up on him. I would like to believe that all this I feel is not unfounded and that something will come out of this. I know that feelings can never be "for nothing" at the least they help you grow up, but I feel like I have done plenty of that this year. I hope these things that I feel are not for nothing as far as he is concerned. But time will tell. I swear, "time" is my best friend and my worst enemy.
I think I am really starting to understand why marriage is so sacred. People really have to put up with a rediculous amount of bullshit before they get to the point of sharing their lives with another person. They have to be beaten up emotionally by other relationships, cry themselves to sleep, vow to never so much as glance at the opposite sex again, among other things. I think my family and I will give a huge sigh of relief when i finally get married...haha in the year 2089.
I got my sugar today. As I was walking to work from class I see Jonathan. Oddly enough I had been thinking about that all throughout class. I was thinking, "I know he is in class, I wish I would somehow run into him" And I thought about the last time I saw him. The way we just stood on the side of the road, neither one of us really wanting to leave but neither one of us able to do anything either. I thought about all the things I wish I would have said or done. But now that I think about it, I really wouldnt change any of it. I could never justify being pushy. I can however live with being patient. If patience will bring me to the arms of the man I love then I have all of the patience in the world. Yes that is sappy but its the truth. Love makes bitches crazy.
I thought that he had been ignoring me. I had tried to call him a couple of times. He didnt amswer nor did he call me back. SO I decided to take the plunge and send an email spilling the naked truth. I still have not recieved a response. So I asked him if he got it and he said no...his computer is broken. Honestly is my life a cheesey love story...a lifetime movie or one of those frusterating movies where you continually watch the two people miss each other due to all the unfortunate coincidences. I just hope this cheesey love story has a happy ending.
So we talked a little. We are going to get together after maymester when things calm down for him a little bit. I guess now if I have something to worry about it will be his reaction to the email I wrote him the other day and if he will actually call me. I choose to have faith in him though and I am going to do my best not to thinkg about him or any of it.
So if fate exists was this a sign. I was really starting to freak out. I had irrational thoughts that I should just go over to his place and make him talk to me, which of course is NOTHING like anything I would normally do. But I thought, shit, if it worked for Carrie Bradshaw maybe it would for me too haha. Maybe this is a sign for me to chill because as most things, this will somehow work out too. And the way he smiled at me, and looked at me like he knows me. That is the best when someone looks at you and they have this look on their face that shouts..."I KNOW YOU INSIDE AND OUT AND ALL I CAN DO IS SMILE" and he does.
I would like to beleve there is a reason why I am so hung up on him. I would like to believe that all this I feel is not unfounded and that something will come out of this. I know that feelings can never be "for nothing" at the least they help you grow up, but I feel like I have done plenty of that this year. I hope these things that I feel are not for nothing as far as he is concerned. But time will tell. I swear, "time" is my best friend and my worst enemy.
I think I am really starting to understand why marriage is so sacred. People really have to put up with a rediculous amount of bullshit before they get to the point of sharing their lives with another person. They have to be beaten up emotionally by other relationships, cry themselves to sleep, vow to never so much as glance at the opposite sex again, among other things. I think my family and I will give a huge sigh of relief when i finally get married...haha in the year 2089.