Sep 28, 2010 02:20
Have you ever wondered who would play you in a movie? How would your character be portrayed? Would the final product be disappointing? I always think about things like this. I've reached a point in my life where self-reflection is a daily occurrence. My mind, my way of thinking, has changed so much in the past few years. I'm maturing and I've taken notice. I know I have ways to go but I can't help but wonder who I'll be when I reach that certain point. By "certain point" I mean the age in which I'm entirely confident in who I am. Or will there ever really be a point? Will I ever be certain of my purpose? I don't think so. I think I'll always be curious. I'll always want to be more. I'll be working on myself until the day that I die. There isn't much time for rest here.
I wonder what people see. I like to believe I have a good sense of self. I'm confident in who I am and what I represent. I am a good person. Most of the time my heart is in the right place. And when it isn't, I know it. So that's a positive involving a negative. Not too bad. I know how I feel and how I'd like to present myself, but I don't know if I am successful. I worry that maybe people see only half of who I'd like to be. I'd like to say that I don't care what people think, but there are definitely those whose thoughts I do mind. I hope that the individuals I admire and respect see me for who I am. Or at least who I think I am. Who I'd like to be.
I'd like to believe I'm a good daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend. I wish I came off as intelligent, charming, funny, and kind-hearted. But if I do or I don't, it's only part of the act. I shouldn't say act, since this doesn't require acting at all. Maybe that's where I go wrong. I have trouble conveying the key aspects of my character to the audience. I'm quiet, and a bit shy. I wouldn't change it but I'm aware that it sets me back at times, esp. in times like these.
It's the times when I'm not thinking about all this that I'm most true to myself. We're challenged everyday. We encounter obstacles that test our values and morals. These occurrences can be a rude awakening to who we are, what we've become. Or they can be an assurance that we're still on the right track. These instances may assure us that we're still decent human beings. As long as I stay decent I think I'll be alright. I don't need the world to be flawlessly informed of my list of personal pros and cons. It's not necessary. I can be satisfied with a strong sense of personal understanding and appreciation for the way that God made me. My family, my close friends, and my one true love are the only ones that really matter. They keep me strong and true to myself. I hope that I give back as much as they've given me.
progress