I'm posting
I've wanted to post in here a lot, but I never remember to do it when I have the time.
So far this semester isn't too bad....I've missed some classes b/c of sleeping in, and I'm really pissed about that. Why can't I ever just wake up when I need to? regardless of the amount of location of the alarms, I just ignore them until it's too late. Also, Dr. Linney (my voice teacher) has been really hard on me so far... my senior recital is Saturday, April 10th at 4pm (in case you were wondering), and she's freaking out in the beginning of February even though I only have 2 songs to learn. I've learned the rest of my rep already and it's memorized, and she has worked with them for like 15 mins each, but she still doesn't want to hear them anymore. She expects me to come in every lesson with a new song learned...what do I do when everything is learned? she doesn't want me to sing anything in lessons that she's already heard. She's all afraid that I won't have my music memorized by the end of February, when I've memorized 7 songs in 3 languages already. She needs to calm the fuck down... She's never been this bad before... I've gotta learn some serious Bach before Friday, or I might not leave that lesson with my head.
One great thing about this semester so far is that I don't have to go to orchestra until after the opera is over. We put on an opera every semester, but they only ever need a small orchestra for the pit, and that never includes me, so I just don't have to go. It's pretty nice, b/c I'm so pooped by that time of day...I just want to go home and sleep, and now I can.
We got Chupi spayed a couple weeks ago...she was a very unhappy puppy that day. It was so sad....She was fine after the first day though. She's also starting to learn some commands. I've realized that she doesn't always understand the spoken command so hand signals work much better. She really seems to get it.
Oh, and btw, I'm pretty well over the whole Nathan thing. We have a class together, but we don't ever really see each other, and I just honestly got over it. I don't care anymore, nor do I ever really think about it. It's pretty nice. I like being a grown-up sometimes.
I still really don't want to date anyone, I just REALLY want to make-out with someone....badly... my hormones have been bad the past few weeks and people who shouldn't be attractive are becoming attractive to me, and it scares me. The only person I'm kind of considering has it really bad for another girl... He's a pretty good candidate (really tall, smart, cute, from Titusville, plays sax, good friends with all of my friends, best man in the wedding in which I am maid of honor), but I think the crush is only forming b/c the other night he gave me a hug, and he had never given me a hug before, and he elicited said hug by grabbing my waist as I walked away...and it was a really good hug...he's really tall. So that, plus the whole me being desperate thing might have something to do with it, b/c I had never even considered it before. So apparently (according to his friends) I'll just have to get him when he's drunk, which shouldn't be too hard b/c his roommates always throw good music school parties at their house. But I think I'm going to start flirting with him anyways. I don't want a serious relationship, but Idk if he'd really care...it's just the whole other girl thing. She apparently has commitment issues, but they're still basically going out even though it's not official, so it probably won't happen with me. Whatever...I kinda wish I cared, but I really don't...
I also don't care about valentine's day. I like being single. Everyone else can either be disgusting or depressed, I don't see a point. I'll only care if Will gets me something, and then I'll just feel really bad. It would be nice if someone bought my a PMA serenade though...or an SAI crush...or a tri-delt balloon bouquet... just so I feel at least a little bit good about myself.
A sucky thing about last week was my first anxiety attack. I was pretty stressed out, and then I found my chewed up computer charger, and I started to freak out. Most of the freaking out was ocd related...even though my ocd isn't really bad enough to even call ocd. I just kept thinking about all the cleaning that needed to be done, and that I was too tired to do it, and that the apartment would just be messy the next day anyways. I just started freaking out and crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating. Not cool. It kind of threw off my whole week. I knew I had anxiety...I'm medicated for it...but it usually manifests in my stomach. I never want to do that again...that sucked.
Well, I'm going to bed. We don't have classes tomorrow, so I'm going to observe at DeLand high all day. I'm really behind in observation hours so far. I also really need to write some observation reflections on the hours...like before 6pm tomorrow...woot.
I love my puppy.
BTW, my Spring Break is the first week of march, so plan on hanging out with me, Brevard ppl.
So far this semester isn't too bad....I've missed some classes b/c of sleeping in, and I'm really pissed about that. Why can't I ever just wake up when I need to? regardless of the amount of location of the alarms, I just ignore them until it's too late. Also, Dr. Linney (my voice teacher) has been really hard on me so far... my senior recital is Saturday, April 10th at 4pm (in case you were wondering), and she's freaking out in the beginning of February even though I only have 2 songs to learn. I've learned the rest of my rep already and it's memorized, and she has worked with them for like 15 mins each, but she still doesn't want to hear them anymore. She expects me to come in every lesson with a new song learned...what do I do when everything is learned? she doesn't want me to sing anything in lessons that she's already heard. She's all afraid that I won't have my music memorized by the end of February, when I've memorized 7 songs in 3 languages already. She needs to calm the fuck down... She's never been this bad before... I've gotta learn some serious Bach before Friday, or I might not leave that lesson with my head.
One great thing about this semester so far is that I don't have to go to orchestra until after the opera is over. We put on an opera every semester, but they only ever need a small orchestra for the pit, and that never includes me, so I just don't have to go. It's pretty nice, b/c I'm so pooped by that time of day...I just want to go home and sleep, and now I can.
We got Chupi spayed a couple weeks ago...she was a very unhappy puppy that day. It was so sad....She was fine after the first day though. She's also starting to learn some commands. I've realized that she doesn't always understand the spoken command so hand signals work much better. She really seems to get it.
Oh, and btw, I'm pretty well over the whole Nathan thing. We have a class together, but we don't ever really see each other, and I just honestly got over it. I don't care anymore, nor do I ever really think about it. It's pretty nice. I like being a grown-up sometimes.
I still really don't want to date anyone, I just REALLY want to make-out with someone....badly... my hormones have been bad the past few weeks and people who shouldn't be attractive are becoming attractive to me, and it scares me. The only person I'm kind of considering has it really bad for another girl... He's a pretty good candidate (really tall, smart, cute, from Titusville, plays sax, good friends with all of my friends, best man in the wedding in which I am maid of honor), but I think the crush is only forming b/c the other night he gave me a hug, and he had never given me a hug before, and he elicited said hug by grabbing my waist as I walked away...and it was a really good hug...he's really tall. So that, plus the whole me being desperate thing might have something to do with it, b/c I had never even considered it before. So apparently (according to his friends) I'll just have to get him when he's drunk, which shouldn't be too hard b/c his roommates always throw good music school parties at their house. But I think I'm going to start flirting with him anyways. I don't want a serious relationship, but Idk if he'd really care...it's just the whole other girl thing. She apparently has commitment issues, but they're still basically going out even though it's not official, so it probably won't happen with me. Whatever...I kinda wish I cared, but I really don't...
I also don't care about valentine's day. I like being single. Everyone else can either be disgusting or depressed, I don't see a point. I'll only care if Will gets me something, and then I'll just feel really bad. It would be nice if someone bought my a PMA serenade though...or an SAI crush...or a tri-delt balloon bouquet... just so I feel at least a little bit good about myself.
A sucky thing about last week was my first anxiety attack. I was pretty stressed out, and then I found my chewed up computer charger, and I started to freak out. Most of the freaking out was ocd related...even though my ocd isn't really bad enough to even call ocd. I just kept thinking about all the cleaning that needed to be done, and that I was too tired to do it, and that the apartment would just be messy the next day anyways. I just started freaking out and crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating. Not cool. It kind of threw off my whole week. I knew I had anxiety...I'm medicated for it...but it usually manifests in my stomach. I never want to do that again...that sucked.
Well, I'm going to bed. We don't have classes tomorrow, so I'm going to observe at DeLand high all day. I'm really behind in observation hours so far. I also really need to write some observation reflections on the hours...like before 6pm tomorrow...woot.
I love my puppy.
BTW, my Spring Break is the first week of march, so plan on hanging out with me, Brevard ppl.