A year ago today
Dear Darren,
So one year baby. One year since you left me and everyone else. You are missed by so many people and I just don't understand sometimes why you had to go. Today I asked myself if you were scared. I hope that you weren't, and I hope that you didn't have to suffer. Its funny, even though everyone who was there that night was completely wasted, we just all seemed to sober up once we realized what happened to you. I can still remember asking Cal were you went and calling you about 5 million times leaving you drunk messages.
I thought about this day and what I would say to you this month and for some reason I don't have much to say. I mean I have so much to say, but I don't know how to say it all. There are still times that I wish I was with you that night, or that I could be with you now. I sometimes feel like I have to pretend everyday, to fake a smile. I'm not happy. I'm so lost and you were always around to help me find my way and now that you aren't here anymore, its like I'm walking around like a ghost in my own world. I don't know what to do with my life, with myself. I should be happy. I'm doing great at my job, a new boyfriend, everything is great with my family. But I'm not happy.
We only knew eachother for a short time, but what we had I'll remember forever. I wasn't your girlfriend, I wasn't a fuck buddy, but I don't think I'll ever understand what our relationship was. We had fun no matter what we did and I loved every moment spent with you, but why, why did you have to go and get hurt?
Darren I just want you to know that you were special to me. You weren't just someone I could count on to cuddle with. I could count on you and you could count on me. But you broke my heart. You left me and now you're never coming back. I wish I could see you. But all I have are my memories and my dreams.
I hope God is taking care of you. I'll be seeing you soon.
"I guess its best we say good night."
Love,
Kel
PS: There is never a day that I don't think about you.
So one year baby. One year since you left me and everyone else. You are missed by so many people and I just don't understand sometimes why you had to go. Today I asked myself if you were scared. I hope that you weren't, and I hope that you didn't have to suffer. Its funny, even though everyone who was there that night was completely wasted, we just all seemed to sober up once we realized what happened to you. I can still remember asking Cal were you went and calling you about 5 million times leaving you drunk messages.
I thought about this day and what I would say to you this month and for some reason I don't have much to say. I mean I have so much to say, but I don't know how to say it all. There are still times that I wish I was with you that night, or that I could be with you now. I sometimes feel like I have to pretend everyday, to fake a smile. I'm not happy. I'm so lost and you were always around to help me find my way and now that you aren't here anymore, its like I'm walking around like a ghost in my own world. I don't know what to do with my life, with myself. I should be happy. I'm doing great at my job, a new boyfriend, everything is great with my family. But I'm not happy.
We only knew eachother for a short time, but what we had I'll remember forever. I wasn't your girlfriend, I wasn't a fuck buddy, but I don't think I'll ever understand what our relationship was. We had fun no matter what we did and I loved every moment spent with you, but why, why did you have to go and get hurt?
Darren I just want you to know that you were special to me. You weren't just someone I could count on to cuddle with. I could count on you and you could count on me. But you broke my heart. You left me and now you're never coming back. I wish I could see you. But all I have are my memories and my dreams.
I hope God is taking care of you. I'll be seeing you soon.
"I guess its best we say good night."
Love,
Kel
PS: There is never a day that I don't think about you.