Finally home....
DGS was a very tough and competitive tournament. Oddly enough though, I wasn't worried or paranoid or anything at all about the meet. It seemed like I had much more on my mind that the meet itself, something I love so much, meant nearly nothing... Everything felt so out of place as if my mind thought so much was wrong. Honestly, for some reason, I felt out of place too. It could have been just since my mind was preoccupied at the meet to really care, but I have no definent idea as to what brought me to feel this. Ever since I got an answer to a question that has been bothering me for so long...for so many years...The outcome of the answer was worse than my previous state of questioning. I wish I could speak of my confusion but I am beyond the point of words. Until I understand myself and my mind a little better, this dilema is something I can only pray about. And no this isn't about Stephanie at all since I know some people will think that. That was one thing I thought about this weekend. My mindset on that whole situation is different now. That situation though isn't what this entry is about though. Every night for the past week or so I have barely slept at all. Every night I wake up at 12 and then 2. I cannot relax or calm my mind. Once I am able to get my mind situated, I'll be me again. Until then though, I won't be myself. This problem I've been having for some time is going to take time to fix. How much, I don't know, but I do know I've got a long journey ahead of me.