so sick and tired of being sick and tired
i'm so done! i'm done. done with everything, done with my family, my friends, having no car, having to work full time and still cant afford to get by. i'm done with sleeping too much in hopes everything will go away, im done with not beind able to sleep some nights. i'm done with worrying where my next meal is comming from, i'm done with wodering if i'm going to have a house to come back to after work, im done! done done done!
i'm sick of crying myself to sleep, i'm sick of faking a smile a work and pretending like nothing is wrong in my life when in actualality everything is! i'm done being alone, i'm done with being fat, i'm done with wanting to be someone one's friend, i'm done! i'm done with having to pay my way though college and doing well at it and no one giving a flying fuck. I'm done screening the phone calls, and i'm done with opening the door to find the sheriff at my door.
i fucking can't stand it when naive people make ther lives out to be soooo bad, like it's sooo hard being them, that having a nice car, a beautiful home, a free ride to school, a happy relationship, firends to spare and doesn't have to work a day in their lives if they didn't want to but still complain about work. so to all of those people: grow the fuck up! There are bigger problems than not being about to go out on the weekend or not being able to see you friends for a whole day! be grateful for all the shit you do have because many poeple,including myself don't have that! it's a struggle everyday just to get up, find food, find a way to work and then find time to myself. the two people in this world that would make my life livng right now are so busy with their lives that its impossible to even grab a quick hi.
i'm done with caring for other people who don't care about me. I'm done with friends who don't care about me, i'm done with anyone what doesn't benefit my situation, my health my happiness.
i'm so done with people seaching for a better life, a better tomorrow, a so called happiness, well wake up, you are there, you have it hold on to it, don't complain, just live it.
i can't handle anything anymore...
"And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried.."
"Everything stays in my mind feeling in a daze on the ground
Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore
I think I've had enough things too tough
I'm out the door"