(no subject)
why am i so scared of everything? scared of rejection from my college, from people? scared of being alone for the rest of my life? scared of losing everyone that i get close to? it totally urks me that i am constantly in a state of emotional turmoil.
i have been at home alone all day and actually i have had a rather successful day. after moping for a while because i was left here all by my lonesome, i decided that i can't be productive at all living in this pigsty. so i have been cleaning my room since 6. i am not completely done yet, but i have taken breaks and anyway, it looks good. i am spending the whole day with God tomorrow b/w church and Encounter, so i knew i had to get it done today. I am teaching girls bible study on Monday night so I just want to kinda hang out with Him and see what he wants me to learn.
I am both nervous and excited about teaching. I have been preparing for like 3 weeks, so I don't feel overwhelmed or underprepared, it is just kind of nerve wracking to be teaching.
random insert- the halloween party was awesome. over 50 people were there and everyones costumes were fabulous.
i have been thinking a lot about my future today. who my friends will be, where i will live, what will happen to me, where God is gonna take me. and then i realized, it truly doesn't matter whether i have friends or not. i don't have to be a part of a couple, or a foursome, or whatever, to be happy. i don't care if someone comes and takes away every one of my close friends. JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND! and he really is all i need. whether i am here or in little rock or new york, whether i have roommates or live alone, whether i am married or single, whether i have a big office or i work at mcdonalds, jesus is the one true constant in my life and that makes me not so worried about my future. he definitely brings perfect peace to my life.
i have been at home alone all day and actually i have had a rather successful day. after moping for a while because i was left here all by my lonesome, i decided that i can't be productive at all living in this pigsty. so i have been cleaning my room since 6. i am not completely done yet, but i have taken breaks and anyway, it looks good. i am spending the whole day with God tomorrow b/w church and Encounter, so i knew i had to get it done today. I am teaching girls bible study on Monday night so I just want to kinda hang out with Him and see what he wants me to learn.
I am both nervous and excited about teaching. I have been preparing for like 3 weeks, so I don't feel overwhelmed or underprepared, it is just kind of nerve wracking to be teaching.
random insert- the halloween party was awesome. over 50 people were there and everyones costumes were fabulous.
i have been thinking a lot about my future today. who my friends will be, where i will live, what will happen to me, where God is gonna take me. and then i realized, it truly doesn't matter whether i have friends or not. i don't have to be a part of a couple, or a foursome, or whatever, to be happy. i don't care if someone comes and takes away every one of my close friends. JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND! and he really is all i need. whether i am here or in little rock or new york, whether i have roommates or live alone, whether i am married or single, whether i have a big office or i work at mcdonalds, jesus is the one true constant in my life and that makes me not so worried about my future. he definitely brings perfect peace to my life.